I’m exhausted.
3 dc, 1 late primary 1 late secondary 1 Uni. I’m a single parent, professional job with pretty set hours but in recent months have been under pressure as we are 2 people down in my team and we’re struggling to recruit. Money is tight and I’m always worried something will go wrong with my 17 year old car or a major household appliance will break as I’d be buggered. Shower died this month which wiped out my small
savings pot to get fixed, thank goodness I have been doing bits of Xmas shopping over the last few months!
I’ve just spent the weekend rushing from football match to college open day to rugby match to cadets remembrance parade to another rugby match to housework to homework supervision to uniform prep to lunchboxes to roast dinner to sports kit prep to bed :( I’m proud of my children and their willingness to get stuck in to their hobbies but fuck me I am fed up of it. And the relentlessness of family life when absolutely everything is on my shoulders.
My hair needs dying, the greys are taking over, I am about 4 stone overweight and have so little time free that when I could be exercising I just want to hide away on my own and get some peace or sleep, I’ve generally stopped looking after myself.
I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this, I know something has to give but I’m just worried that it will be me and I’ll end up being off work for weeks to recover. I don’t know how to deal with it though, or whether I’m just being a fucking lazy so and so and need to pull myself together and just get on with it like everyone else.
I feel so broken :(