Crazy things you hear on the bus

[crazyivy]

boy, maybe 15, 16 carrying open pizza box and munching expensive local take away pizza brand, tries to get on bus without paying. The driver challenges him, there is some back and forth. Boy says he needs to get home, and cant afford the bus fare. The driver points out he has just afforded expensive luxury pizza. Boy responds with an air of one winning the argument indisputably " O no, mate, I didn't pay for this, I stole it". He seemed to think this is a source of public pride😳

Honest!!!

Woman with her dog, dog is licking her face - man says very loudly 'Why'd you let it your face when he's just been licking his dick'

2 men having a debate on why one of them explained to the other what a marble worktop looked like. He said Do you think I'm stupid that I don't know, everyone knows Marble has black wobbly stripes

😂 That's hilarious. One time there was a drunk guy across from me and he said he had a song stuck in his head. So I told him to sing it out loud, that usually works for me, and he started scream-singing "LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR" the rest of the ride, until he said it worked, but now he had a Madonna song stuck in his head and started singing that.

Another time a different drunk guy was passed out across a row of seats, and he woke to hear my 8yo daughter laughing at something in her book, and he got up and charged her, challenging her to a fight, "Why are you laughing at me?!!" He was HUGE! The bus driver had to wrestle him out.

Sister was on a bus at midnight. Drunk/homeless man gets into confrontation with man sat in front of him. Drunk man says 'bye bye mr ear' and bites the mans ear off.

wow!

This will out to me to anyone who knew me at the time but years ago after work, sitting listening to a couple arguing behind me - got louder and louder until woman shouts

’and who the fuck wears just green? Everything green. You look like a fucking leprechaun.’

When he walked off in a huff I ended up crying laughing as he was indeed, dressed entirely in green, head to toe!

I didn't hear, but I saw a lady eating a bag of crisps whilst wearing woolly gloves 😬

Tube not bus -
Kew Gardens is okay if you really like plants, (she hadn't enjoyed her visit(

honestly not listening but overheard . .. 2 teens sitting behind me on the bus discussing one of their friends who had just had a baby, when one of them says " They called the baby Tia Maria ".
(Who in their right mind would call a baby the Spanish for Aunty Mary/after an alcoholic drink?)

Guy on a bus on the Isle of Wight. Asleep to start with leaning on the back of my chair. I dared to lean back and he called me an stupid f@cking c*nt.

He then continued to mutter about anyone who even sniffed in his direction, people walking past to their seats and even the bus driver who he also claimed was a f@cking c*nt because the bus was too hot ( it was in the height of summer in the middle of a heat wave. )

I was actually quite scared to say the least as he seemed totally unhinged.

Not on a bus, but I overheard this gem while out walking yesterday 'No, of course I don't wear a cornish pasty round my neck.'
My question is, whyever not? 😀

Years ago some bloke sneezing over and over behind me and I turned to look at him.

He wiped his snotty face on the back of his hand and said 'yeah what are you looking at you fucking bitch'. So that was nice.

I moved nearer the front as I felt uncomfortable with him breathing down my neck.

I have a car thankfully so rarely on a bus these days.

These are much better than mine, which I still think of now from time to time - woman behind me explaining at length to her friend how eating 5 fruit and veg a day was impossible and verging on dangerous, because “you’d be in and out of the shitter all day”. She felt the GP was irresponsible and unrealistic to mention it.

I've got marble countertops and every time I've gone in the kitchen today I think about the guy and black wobbly stripes lol