Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Breastfeeding newborn when have a toddler

36 replies

Mamato29192 · 11/11/2023 20:35

Want to know experiences of this. Did your toddler get jealous at all? Was it okay? Did you tandem feed. My son only has boob on a morning now will he up it when he sees his sister on the boob loads? What's it like really breastfeeding 2. Is it hard. Easy?

I just don't know what to expect and want to be prepared. Not gonna lie little stressed lol.

Tia 😊

OP posts:
ZombieBoob · 12/11/2023 10:43

I tandem fed my 20 month old and newborn is was so so handy as I had a fast let down and would drown baby but with toddler about he would take the edge off. Also handy when I got blocked ducts as toddler would soon see them off. Only lasted about 4 months then weaned himself.

Mamato29192 · 12/11/2023 11:13

ZombieBoob · 12/11/2023 10:43

I tandem fed my 20 month old and newborn is was so so handy as I had a fast let down and would drown baby but with toddler about he would take the edge off. Also handy when I got blocked ducts as toddler would soon see them off. Only lasted about 4 months then weaned himself.

Thank you for your comment 😊 definitely sounds a very good thing to tandem feed

OP posts:
UnimaginableWindBird · 12/11/2023 11:23

I tandem fed and for me, the positives definitely outweighed the negatives. I felt touched out a lot of the time and usd to limit DD's daytime feeds to two rounds of Twinkle Twinkle little star, but I think it made the transition to siblinghood easier, and breastfeeding the baby was a doddle compared to the first time round. They would sometimes hold hands when feeding together, which was adorable.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Flittingaboutagain · 12/11/2023 11:29

Six weeks is nothing. Your toddler is going to go through the biggest transition of his life and I'd be very wary of this. I'm tandem feeding and I echo comments about initially needing the baby to go first and cluster feeding being difficult....but that stage doesn't last long. So now I can often pretend to make the baby wait a turn or genuinely the toddler gets to go first and it's not a rotating feast. Special bf only toys and books can help. The baby is 9 months now and just this week my toddler said that my milk mumma so don't expect your toddler to resolve their feelings in six weeks.

Start using magnesium spray to help with aversion which is bloody horrible when it strikes. Hopefully you won't experience it though!

Mamato29192 · 12/11/2023 11:43

UnimaginableWindBird · 12/11/2023 11:23

I tandem fed and for me, the positives definitely outweighed the negatives. I felt touched out a lot of the time and usd to limit DD's daytime feeds to two rounds of Twinkle Twinkle little star, but I think it made the transition to siblinghood easier, and breastfeeding the baby was a doddle compared to the first time round. They would sometimes hold hands when feeding together, which was adorable.

Good to hear. Tbf I want to hear all positives and negatives. Aww that's so sweet 🥰 thank you for your comment

OP posts:
Mamato29192 · 12/11/2023 11:45

Flittingaboutagain · 12/11/2023 11:29

Six weeks is nothing. Your toddler is going to go through the biggest transition of his life and I'd be very wary of this. I'm tandem feeding and I echo comments about initially needing the baby to go first and cluster feeding being difficult....but that stage doesn't last long. So now I can often pretend to make the baby wait a turn or genuinely the toddler gets to go first and it's not a rotating feast. Special bf only toys and books can help. The baby is 9 months now and just this week my toddler said that my milk mumma so don't expect your toddler to resolve their feelings in six weeks.

Start using magnesium spray to help with aversion which is bloody horrible when it strikes. Hopefully you won't experience it though!

I know. And I'm not gonna try stop him with his last feed. If he drops it he drops. It's first thing on a morning
When he has it. So you reckon allowing him this feed might help the transition better rather than trying to wean? Thank you for your comment and I'll get some magnesium spray. Hopefully I won't but will still get some

OP posts:
Mamato29192 · 12/11/2023 11:45

Only*

OP posts:
gentlemum · 12/11/2023 12:56

@Mamato29192 that's interesting with the magnesium spray, I haven't heard of that before. How does it work to help the aversion?

Mamato29192 · 12/11/2023 13:01

gentlemum · 12/11/2023 12:56

@Mamato29192 that's interesting with the magnesium spray, I haven't heard of that before. How does it work to help the aversion?

I would love to know too @Flittingaboutagain

OP posts:
sexnotgenders · 12/11/2023 15:51

Another one tandem feeding a toddler and baby (2.5 DD and now 20 week DS). I echo what others have said about struggling with feeling touched out. I was really surprised at the negative feelings towards my toddler that feeding created as previously I had only positive thoughts, and I just wasn't prepared for it. But it did pass and I now really enjoy my breastfeeding snuggles with my eldest - it has definitely helped with the inevitable sibling rivalry, and it's also helped remind me that she's still a baby too in lots of ways. I think it's easy to see the toddler as this big grown up when baby arrives (they certainly suddenly look huge), but they really are still so small and for me having that closeness together was really special and an important reminder that she still needs me just as much as she did before.

Whilst it's 100% your decision, as you are due at Christmas, I do think it's not the right time to wean - he will remember that he used to get your milk and it might intensify his feelings of jealousy as he then has to watch the new baby at your breast instead. I think if you wanted to wean, the time to have done it (or at least to have done it while minimising any consequences) is probably past as it'll be in his active memory. Not helpful I know, but I can't help but think you're potentially exacerbating his natural feelings of jealousy by removing the breast so soon before the birth.

On the practicalities, I actually found it easier to assign the kids a breast each - so the toddler could feel that she still had her special part of me, even if she often couldn't have a feed as immediately as she'd like. I found that helped with her patience as the baby wasn't at 'her' breast, drinking 'her' milk, so she didn't find waiting as difficult. She calls it 'her boob' and knows it's there, with her milk, even if she has to wait to get it. However, during her nap and overnight, the baby had free access to both (shhh... don't tell her!), which has avoided any issues with supply on that breast. In fact, it helped manage the fast letdown that the toddler was creating on both breasts at first, as once I assigned them a breast each it meant the baby could manage its own supply and demand on his own breast - it would come out so fast it would nearly drown her, poor thing!

In short, I'm so glad I am still feeding my toddler alongside my baby and without doubt think it's helped her cope with the transition to having a sibling. It's also helped maintain our closeness when the truth is my attention and time is now so divided and she doesn't come first anymore - our breastfeeding snuggles give us those special moments just the two of us. I have no intention of forcing her to wean and will feed her as long as she wants.

gotomomo · 12/11/2023 15:56

I had quit bf toddler before I became pregnant, in fact I couldn't get pregnant until I quit (was pregnant next cycle) toddler "breast fed" her dolls aka stuck them up her jumper

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread