Inspired by another thread title - but definitely not a TAAT - I was pondering the meaning of this phrase.
I never heard it growing up - in fact I may never have heard until mumsnet - and found it quite unpleasant at first. It seemed to fit with a quite cynical and selfish world view - anti charity, anti do-gooder, anti society, pro individualism.
But I've come to think what it reflects is that fact that when we do "good deeds", deep down we feel on some level we should be rewarded, at least with a bit of gratitude or appreciation. Because we are dealing with human beings in all their flawed irrationality, that doesn't always happen. And kind acts do go wrong, or are not quite what was asked for or needed, and we can end up feeling we did something wrong somehow.
Then because we've given our time and effort for free, it feels deeply unfair to feel criticised for what we tried to do. But it's almost inevitable that there will be minor conflict and issues in any activity involving other people.
It hasn't made me stop volunteering for stuff but it has probably made me more realistic about what to expect when I do!