I don’t feel safe tonight

dontspendanothernightalone · 2023-11-10T23:09:41+00:00

Been triggered by something today. I don’t want to write about it in detail. I am safe, in my own bed, I’m an adult and I’m in control of what happens to me and my body but I don’t feel safe silly as it sounds, and don’t want to be alone. Is there anyone about just for a chat?

idontlikealdi · 10/11/2023 23:11

Hi 👋 can you expand?

easilydistracted1 · 10/11/2023 23:12

Im sat up full of lurgy having been supervising my poorly dog. Not sure how much use I'll be as my brain is fluff but you're welcome to try. Do you do grounding techniques?

HiThereSupermouse · 10/11/2023 23:14

I'm a trauma survivor and I find it helpful to ground myself. Like thinking of 5 things in my room I can see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can smell, 2 things I can hear etc.

Original poster

dontspendanothernightalone · 10/11/2023 23:15

I’ve got grounding techniques yes, therapist got me to do one earlier as I was dissociating hellishly with her earlier.

Earlier I just said the date etc so it is 10 Nov 2023, it’s 11.15 at night, I’m remembering things that happened a very very long time ago and my body’s reacting to those memories and thinking there’s a threat, but the threat is long gone now.

OP posts:

NumberFortyNorhamGardens · 10/11/2023 23:18

Now I understand why people on here say ‘Didn’t want to read and run’. I would say be careful about posting on here, or any other kind of social media, if you’re feeling delicate, as it can feel very much like shouting into the void; you’re not guaranteed support as people can be capricious, especially en masse.

Have you thought about contacting the Samaritans? They’re not just for people thinking about suicide; they’re there to listen to all sorts of things.

Original poster

dontspendanothernightalone · 10/11/2023 23:18

HiThereSupermouse · 10/11/2023 23:14

I'm a trauma survivor and I find it helpful to ground myself. Like thinking of 5 things in my room I can see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can smell, 2 things I can hear etc.

Thank you -

5 things I can see - my phone screen, my hand, light switch, duvet cover and wooden board behind my head.

4 can touch - teddy on my bed, my duvet, pillow and tthe wall.

3 can smell - my bedding, Superdrug fake alien perfume, shampoo

2 can hear - noise from street and bedroom fan

1 can taste - had granola and yoghurt earleir and can still taste a little bit

OP posts:

fourelementary · 10/11/2023 23:19

Be kind to yourself… maybe thank your body and reassure it that although it’s trying to help protect you, it can relax and let go for now.
Take each part of your body in your mind and relax it- start at scalp and work down, it can be a good way to relax. I also find an audio book or podcast relaxing… the Archers is amazing for helping me sleep!
My mum swears by singing to herself. Something like jingle bells or similar… 💐

Original poster

dontspendanothernightalone · 10/11/2023 23:19

NumberFortyNorhamGardens · 10/11/2023 23:18

Now I understand why people on here say ‘Didn’t want to read and run’. I would say be careful about posting on here, or any other kind of social media, if you’re feeling delicate, as it can feel very much like shouting into the void; you’re not guaranteed support as people can be capricious, especially en masse.

Have you thought about contacting the Samaritans? They’re not just for people thinking about suicide; they’re there to listen to all sorts of things.

Thank you yeah I’ll give them a try, k rang them about an hour ago and got a man so had to hang up but I’ll try them again.

OP posts:

Doggymummar · 10/11/2023 23:19

I had this last night, I was panicking an so I was trying to remember the bathroom and couldn't. I told my oh today and he couldn't remember the bathroom either, he says we just have a boring bathroom! I convinced myself I was gonna die. Our heads are weird.

Gilead · 10/11/2023 23:19

Are you able to change your physical feelings, being cold for a while then warming up?
I recite the district line!
sometimes just getting a cup of tea helps.

NumberFortyNorhamGardens · 10/11/2023 23:20

Glad to see that all the posts so far are supportive. 😊

HiThereSupermouse · 10/11/2023 23:23

@dontspendanothernightalone how are you feeling now?

easilydistracted1 · 10/11/2023 23:23

It might sound a little but funny, but if you can access Childline website they have some really good visual and readable grounding techniques like 54321. While you aren't the right age to use the service I guessing it doesn't stopped you looking at it.

Tell us a bit more about what your Teddy.

funbags3 · 10/11/2023 23:23

I've become very adept at redirecting my thoughts. There are occasions when it can take a while to work, but it always does eventually.

Plantymcplantface · 10/11/2023 23:27

@dontspendanothernightalone I’m here, with my little 3 legged cat keeping me warm. It’s November and the air was bright and crisp today. Right now we are safe. X

TheSpikySpinosaurus · 10/11/2023 23:29

I'm here too, holding your hands, keeping vigil with you.

MythagoW · 10/11/2023 23:29

Can you download an audiobook of a female comedian that you like to have on as background noise? I don’t struggle like I used to but I find a familiar happy calm voice really grounding. Especially one who says lots of positive things to you, almost like affirmation - Miranda or Sarah Millican are both lovely. Hope you get some sleep and feel better tomorrow x

Thetulesarepretty · 10/11/2023 23:30

Big virtual hug from me, dates can loom and direct your feelings in strange ways. Can you listen to a relaxation podcast? Sound of soft rain? xx ❤️

Choccyoclocky · 10/11/2023 23:33

Hope you're okay..

Superdrug fake Alien, what is it called? How does it last and is it strong?
Alien is my all time fave and I'm almost out of my bottle. I can't afford to spend that much on perfume but willing to try the fake version if it's good!

LittleCrackers · 10/11/2023 23:38

An audio body scan often helps for me, OP. I hope you're feeling calmer

rockinginarockingchair · 10/11/2023 23:56

I understand you i have the same episodes to.
Its a awful feeling to have i some times say my full name age DOB like im telling myself who i am im in control their just thoughts they will pass.
The more i try to not think of them the worse they get so i tell my self im floating.
Just gonna let the thoughts float away.
youtube is what i watch to help.💐

Tbry · 11/11/2023 00:01

HiThereSupermouse · 10/11/2023 23:14

I'm a trauma survivor and I find it helpful to ground myself. Like thinking of 5 things in my room I can see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can smell, 2 things I can hear etc.

That’s similar to what I do, regularly during the day and usually before bed to try to calm to sleep.

AtrociousCircumstance · 11/11/2023 00:06

Hi, I’m here too.

What about some lovely relaxing meditations on YouTube, or maybe some silly but comforting ASMR? Or a favourite cosy comedy show and a cup of tea?

Ostryga · 11/11/2023 00:09

Have you got YouTube? I find the sleep hypnosis videos on there amazing for calming me down when I’m having a panic attack. It gives your brain something to concentrate on and encourages deep even breathing. It really really helps me. Micheal Sealey is the one I use the most.

Hope you’re ok and sending lots of unmumsnetty hugs

JFDIYOLO · 11/11/2023 00:10

Would you like to try box breathing technique?

You draw a square in the air with your finger.

Eyes closed if you like to.

As you draw up, breathe in through your nose for four beats

As you draw across, hold for four

As you draw down, breathe out through your mouth for four. Associate the wooshing sound with the bad stuff leaving you

As you draw across, hold for four

Now you've drawn a four sided box.

Do the cycle again a few times.

I found this on an NHS site offering relaxation techniques to NHS staff to help them cope.