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Original poster

Can I take a moment to gloat at a friend?

26 replies

seedspfsun · 10/11/2023 22:11

I sound awful I know.

We used to be on similar wages. But she got a new job (and another) so for the last 4 years friend has constantly shoved it in my face of how she earns so much and how she’s constantly getting pay rises.

I’m all for sharing and celebrating success but it was the way she constantly went on about it, like randomly dropping in how her boss gave her £2K bonus and backdated her pay rise by six months. Like she knew I was struggling in both hating my job and being severely underpaid.

I recently found the courage to go for a job interview and I got it and they offered me more than I asked for. And I’m now earning what she does (seeing as she shares her salary constantly). I’ve never been one to brag, but I’m fucking proud of myself.

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 10/11/2023 22:20

This is friendship?

TheKnittedCharacter · 10/11/2023 22:22

You sound delightful 🤨

Original poster
seedspfsun · 10/11/2023 22:24

TheKnittedCharacter · 10/11/2023 22:22

You sound delightful 🤨

I feel silently smug? That for years I’ve had her constantly talk about how much money she makes, be in competition with a different friend over earning more.

So yeah I am proud of myself that I got a new job with a 50% pay rise.

OP posts:
dylanschicken · 10/11/2023 22:25

Why have you been friends with her all this time?

Libre2 · 10/11/2023 22:27

Congrats on your new job and decent pay hike. Enjoy it!

I have a friend who has always earnt double what I do but earnings are only one facet of a person and it.is not something we dwell on. Is she a good friend in other ways?

Raspberrymoon49 · 10/11/2023 22:28

Strange definition of friendship, it sounds like competitive spitefulness, wouldn’t want that element in my friendships

HiThereSupermouse · 10/11/2023 22:28

Braggarts are annoying but so are gloaters. This thread isn't a good look @seedspfsun .

declutteringmymind · 10/11/2023 22:29

This friend isn't bringing out the best in you.

hotblacktea · 10/11/2023 22:30

you both deserve each other, so do it

Fakeairpodsfakeoodie · 10/11/2023 22:30

Keep quiet about it. Don't tell her how much you earn or any bonus etc. I do find it a bit vulgar to talk about what you earn outside of your immediate household.

Besides you can secretly revel in knowing she thinks you are on less than you are, equally vulgar to what I wrote above, but quietly, calmly and nicely smug.

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 10/11/2023 22:32

That’s fucking amazing. Now put all the extra money into a Vanguard or similar high interest account/stocks and shares Isa/investment account - compound interest FTW.

pyjamalife · 10/11/2023 22:35

Thought I might have been the friend then but I didn't get a backdated payrise.

I left a roll with my friend and got a 50% increase. I invited my friend to join with me, advised of places nearer her home which would increase.

I didn't brag to the nth degree but I did tell her how happy I was with the massive increase but only to try to advise her how to also achieve this (although we're on similar household wages in regards to where we live etc.

I know she wants to move to increase pay but I also know she loves the job itself as much as I did.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 10/11/2023 22:39

Brilliant news! Well done!

Don't know what to do about the friend though.

Jewelspun · 10/11/2023 22:45

Perhaps your chin will now go out and buy a shiny new car and then you can stew with jealousy for a couple of years until you can buy a shiny new car.

And so on .....

Jewelspun · 10/11/2023 22:45

Chum not chin!

ErinAndTonic · 10/11/2023 23:48

Raspberrymoon49 · 10/11/2023 22:28

Strange definition of friendship, it sounds like competitive spitefulness, wouldn’t want that element in my friendships

Completely agree with this - friendship sounds toxic on both sides, and certainly not how I'd describe any of mine.

Malarandras · 10/11/2023 23:50

Money, politics and religion - three topics to strictly limit who you talk to about them, otherwise it leads to trouble. Case in point, this thread.

Givejamesbluntachance · 11/11/2023 00:28

Yep! It does sound awful.

Galiana · 11/11/2023 00:30

Well done you!

You don't like her though.

SleepPrettyDarling · 11/11/2023 00:32

CONGRATULATIONS! Take this lovely piece of good news and treasure it like Gollum. Don’t tell her anything. Rise above.

DixonD · 11/11/2023 00:37

Congratulations on the new job.

Original poster
seedspfsun · 11/11/2023 00:56

pyjamalife · 10/11/2023 22:35

Thought I might have been the friend then but I didn't get a backdated payrise.

I left a roll with my friend and got a 50% increase. I invited my friend to join with me, advised of places nearer her home which would increase.

I didn't brag to the nth degree but I did tell her how happy I was with the massive increase but only to try to advise her how to also achieve this (although we're on similar household wages in regards to where we live etc.

I know she wants to move to increase pay but I also know she loves the job itself as much as I did.

We’ve never worked together and don’t have the same occupation.

OP posts:
Original poster
seedspfsun · 11/11/2023 01:03

Thanks everyone for the congrats. I studied hard for two years and got myself more qualified but I didn’t feel confident about going elsewhere. But I tried and hopefully this is a second chance.

We did used to be good friends but she turned so competitive. Which seems stupid to be competitive with me when realistically I was way behind her.

I always celebrated her success. But it started to get tedious.

I also have no plans to tell her, she doesn’t even know I interviewed. But one of our mutual friends has a habit of asking people how much they earn.

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 11/11/2023 01:09

Well done on the job! Such a great achievement!

Why are you "friends" with this person though? If a pal of mine told me about their £2k bonus I'd be fucking ecstatic for them because I love my friends and want the best for them. If I got a promotion with a significant payrise my friends would be over the moon for me, zero gloating needed. This doesn't seem like the healthiest friendship really, doesn't sound like you even like her at all. Might be time to consider going your separate ways?

RantyAnty · 11/11/2023 01:22

She doesn't sound like much of a friend.

I wouldn't tell her exactly how much you make but I would brag a little around her if you see her.