Worried about H’s dip in income whilst TTC

[flowi]

DH has a great opportunity come up to retrain in his dream field. It’s an apprenticeship and the training period is fairly low paid (25k) and a long drive from home so more fuel than he would usually use. This kind of opportunity doesn’t come up often- after the first 3 months of training he will be on 30k and as he progresses he should be on 35/40k ish in as little as 18 months time. He’ll start in February next year.

We are TTC currently and I’m worried that his lower paid training period will coincide with pregnancy- the time where we want to be buying all the expensive items like car seats, pram etc. Conversely, he thinks it’s the best time as by the time I’m heavily pregnant his income will be higher.

Our living costs aren’t that high- all of our essential outgoings amount to about 2k which is what I bring in per month.

I’m being irrational and tone deaf to even worry about this right? It will only be a few hundred pounds less a month than we are used to, and only for three months

I just keep seeing the prices of things rise and know I’ll want to be saving as much as I can at that point.

Thank you

If you’re worried about money, just delay trying for a baby for a year.

I don’t feel I can delay. We’ve had a loss previously so it’s all I really think about.

He needs to go for it, TTC can be instant or can take months and months. Life can’t go on hold for it… he needs to go for it!

He is going for it, absolutely. I just can’t stop worrying about it. If we have conceived this cycle I’d be 29 weeks by the time he gets his normal pay. That’s way too late to be buying the big stuff, isn’t it? Obviously there’s a few months yet before February too which he plans to do overtime in to boost up his wages a bit.

Well, it’s up to you. If I was worried about money, I’d put the ttc on hold, unless time was not on my side.

If you were already pregnant, it would be different, but to deliberately get pregnant when you only have to delay a year or so and the money situation will be fine, that’s what I’d do.

29 weeks is not too late to buy baby things. You really don't need much.

I do think you're maybe worrying unnecessarily. He has prospects of earning a wage you seem happy with before you are 30 weeks at the earliest. I think it's fine

@flowi babies are quite cheap to be honest, Moses basket or next to you, under £150, pram system £400, I formula fed so prep and bottles £100 . It’s not crazy expensive at first, that’s what comes later

just start saving money just now - pretend hes on the lower salary for now and bank the difference

How old are you?

A lot of that big stuff you are talking about can be picked up for very little money second hand, and it's kinder to the planet too. Babies don't have to be expensive, it's when they get bigger they start to cost in my experience.

I didn’t buy my big stuff until about 30-35 weeks. If you buy it too soon then it just takes up more space in your house.

Your outgoings are covered by your salary. Save all of his. Even if you do get pregnant this cycle, he’ll be on the better wage by the time baby arrives and you’ll have built up a good nest egg by saving his salary for 9 months.

You can buy everything a baby needs very cheaply or free on Facebook, Vinted etc. TTC could take a long time - I would go for it.

Live on the lower income now and put the difference aside in savings?

Save what you can now.
Of course you don't have to have everything bought at 29 weeks. Even if the baby arrives then 1- shops are still open; 2- new babies need very littje 3.- there's a massive preloved market of baby kit on FB, Vinted, nct Nearly new sales.

The apprenticeship sounds like an excellent oppurtunity..

OP, honestly you are worrying unnecessarily.

29 weeks is not too late to buy things, and anyway, you can get most stuff secondhand in good condition & low cost. NCT sales are your friend.

And the major cost of babyhood comes with maternity leave and childcare, so to be honest, it makes far more sense for him to get his apprenticeship done as soon as possible. The cost of childcare is so much that a couple of hundred a month isn't even going to touch the sides.

You can buy things really cheaply so I wouldn’t worry for that reason. Facebook marketplace is amazing for baby stuff as PP said.

How much does he earn now? What is your salary?

Tbh, I'd go ahead - took me 6 years to conceive my 1st.

About 30k and same for me

His plan will help build a stronger future. Either delay TTC for a few months or work on you will make things work!

Out of interest how much do you think you’re going to be spending on baby things?

In that case he will be having a 10k payrise in 18 months...you'll appreciate that far more than the short term drop.

Babies really don't need that much and as other posters have said buy second hand.

I definitely second the pre loved item market! We bought a lot of stuff new for our little one but soon learnt we could save literally hundreds of pounds buying good quality second hand!

As others have said, babies don't cost much it's childcare later. The only thing you need new is a mattress. Sorry about your loss, I hope next pregnancy goes better, I wouldn't delay.

1. start saving for the difference now
2. Buy most baby stuff on Vinted

You don't need to buy the big things until near the very end of pregnancy and tbh you won't want to. We bought our pram after the baby arrived (you wouldn't go out and about for a week or so and little babies hate prams anyway!) so you just need a car seat and something for the baby to sleep in...

It used to be standard not to buy anything until the baby arrived to avoid jinxing things - a bit extreme but helpful to reassure you a bit?

Get the apprenticeship over before you actually have a baby here who needs loads of time and will cost lots as it gets older! Great opportunity!