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Original poster

Step parent

4 replies

Lrj1986 · 09/11/2023 20:28

have a 7 year old SS from previous relationship which broke down 6 years ago. SS calls me dad and has nothing to do with bio dad. He is no longer wanting to visit my house and is opting to come when there are gifts/events being held, which is not feasible long term. When he does come he is rude and disrespectful to us all. I make as much effort as possible to encourage him to come as does DW Talking to ex does not work as there is no encouragement from her side and I am constantly getting nasty phone calls/texts from her.
I don’t know whether this is something I should continue to work on like I have been doing for the past 2 and a half years however there are no improvements. This is now having an impact on my family life with my DW and DD (9 months). I want to be there for him but I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:

Pleaseme · 09/11/2023 20:35

Do you have any parental rights for him? Honestly most former step parent relationships fizzle out. When my stepdad separated from my Mother there were lots of good intentions but we only kept it up for a year. He had been in our lives for 11 years.

Neodymium · 09/11/2023 20:42

is it possible that he is jealous of your new baby? It’s really hard you have no parental rights and your ex is just making things difficult. Probably bad mouthing you to him as well. I wouldn’t let him just turn up for gifts. Maybe he just needs some one on one time with you when you can reassure him that the baby hasn’t taken his place. Ultimately though if his mum is being difficult there isn’t much you can do.

Original poster

Lrj1986 · 09/11/2023 20:45

No, no parental rights. It makes it more difficult because my ex is VERY encouraging of him having a relationship with my family, however not me. She stopped me from seeing him for a while (due to money and nothing else) our relationship was great prior to this, but was asking my family to see him. Which caused a lot of conflict

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Jewelspun · 09/11/2023 22:06

Walk away. He's not your child and the mother is not facilitating a healthy relationship between you and the boy.

You'll be upset of course but as time passes you will realise it was better dow you and better die the child as it's likely his mother will form a relationship with someone and the boy will be included within that family unit.

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