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Original poster

Do you have friends at work?

32 replies

ErinAndTonic · 09/11/2023 17:59

I was just randomly pondering this today, how I don't really have any friends in my present job. I have people I have banter with and get along with everyone but nobody I would see after work, and only one person I might go off to lunch with. Being predominantly home based doesn't help I guess.

This got me pondering all my previous jobs, some jobs I've had a really close group of friends that have socialised with (mostly work related socials I'll admit, sometimes the odd meal out), but when I change jobs the friendships fizzle out and they become social media acquaintances. Some jobs I've never clicked with anyone, ie. Smaller companies, so it's been really varied.

I'm talking office jobs here, as ironically met my two closest friends through some of my first jobs part time while at sixth form.

Guess I'm just wondering if this is normal, would you say you had friends at work, or not?

OP posts:
Ontobetterthings · 09/11/2023 18:11

Are you wfh all the time? I think this would be the problem. I'd say it's easier to make friends when you see each other regularly in the office

CandleWick4 · 09/11/2023 18:12

No, I wfh though and everyone else in a different part of the UK than me - that and I’m about 15 years older than them all

RaininSummer · 09/11/2023 18:12

Kind of but we don't often go out after work as so busy. Outings for special birthdays or leaving is about it

Doggymummar · 09/11/2023 18:15

No, I WFH and have met my colleagues once, they are eight hours away.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 09/11/2023 18:21

Sort of. At least... more than I have for years! I'm a teacher and until last year, for the previous 10 years I'd been doing supply, tutoring etc so I wasn't really part of any one school. It's really lovely to have proper colleagues again! I'm still new there, but a bunch of us sometimes go on dog walks together, although that's it apart from the end of term socials.

LoobyDop · 09/11/2023 18:31

Yes. But not all friends are for life. Just because you haven’t stayed in regular contact with someone after circumstances have changed, doesn’t mean they were never your friend.

ifonly4 · 09/11/2023 18:41

Over the years I've always had the odd person I've got on well with and sometimes we've gone for a drink after, but after they've left that's the end.

However, I did make one friend about five years ago, she was 15 years younger than me but we had a few things in common and she was easy to chat to. We went for a drink a couple of times of month at the time. She left about three years ago and we still see eachother, not so much but for a coffee and today we've been out for lunch.

YikYok · 09/11/2023 18:43

I have good relationships wit some colleagues who I know I’d be friends with if we were outside a work context. But I wouldn’t say friends no.

onestepfromgrace · 09/11/2023 18:44

I have made lots of friends from work in every job since the seventies and I still keep in touch with some of them. So that’s six decades of making friends and since I started working at home in March 2020 I have not made one new work friend. I don’t think there’s enough interaction, in fact some friendships have faded without the regular contact. Banter, yes, friends, no sadly.

HeffyAgain · 09/11/2023 18:52

My boss is one of my closest friends! I have a few friends from work but I go into the office daily.
I would think the wfh culture will make it difficult to make friends with colleagues.

LindorDoubleChoc · 09/11/2023 20:03

No. I am the only female employee in a company of 11 and with one exception I am about 20 years older than the oldest of the rest of them. Two employees are the same age as my son. We get along fine, but none of them are friends of mine.

MsMcGonagall · 09/11/2023 20:12

I have 2 friends from a workplace in my late 20s who are lifelong irreplaceable friends. Everyone else I've ever worked with, even if I've liked them a lot, has never quite made it to real friendship. I'm not short of friends! I wonder whether in the end there is always the aspect of work/professional behaviour that gets in the way of making real friends, for me?
The 2 exceptions - one I knew as a friend before she became a colleague (so that's cheating!). The other - mix of the right time of life, late 20s and in a new place, so I was very open to making friends; their openness; and shared interests that we could pursue together outside work

chocolatedream23 · 09/11/2023 20:13

I have 3 very close friends (not a group, all separate) and 2 of those I met at work - one 15 years ago and the other from 7 years ago.

TheSilverThorn · 09/11/2023 20:22

The longest friend through work who I stayed with for 2 weeks this summer just past has been a friend for 35 years. In my last job I made 4 very good friends and in the previous one I made 1 very good friend. The 35 year friend is the one I could ring 24/7 and she feels the same about me.

Spidey66 · 09/11/2023 20:23

I’ve got a few friends from one job. One I’ve always been close to even though we’ve both left but she’s now living in Scotland and I’m in London. A few others were in a WhatsApp group and see each other maybe once or twice a year. Most people I like at work though we keep in touch via SM but that’s about it. There’s a saying (can’t remember it though!) about some friends being for a reason, some for a season, some for life? I’ve got about 3 or 4 friends for life (1 from 6th form college, one I met through her, another is a cousin. I would also describe my friend in Scotland as a friend for life…we’ve known each other 20 years). The cousin and one of those 2 now live in the same town and I introduced them to each other so are now friends with each other. Most of the rest of my friends are acquaintances really.

RedCoffeeCup · 09/11/2023 20:26

Current job - no. I like my colleagues but there's no one I'd stay in touch with if I left.

But I have proper lifelong friends from the job I did between age 22 and 31 - including my DH, one of my bridesmaids, my DD's godparents, my DS's godparents... you get the idea.

RantyAnty · 09/11/2023 20:26

Not really.

I have 3 former work mates on my sm that I chat to occasionally but haven't seen them in person for years.

CatamaranViper · 09/11/2023 20:30

Nope but I only have three colleagues all together. We order lunch in every Friday and sit and have a good old chat about everything, occasionally we have meals out to celebrate something. I wouldn't arrange to see them outside of work for fun.

Cherrysoup · 09/11/2023 20:45

Currently, no, from previous jobs, yes, we meet up annually (one lives abroad now). One person in my department is a ‘mate’ but is lots younger. She likes to talk to me lots and wants me to be her manager instead of the actual manager. We get on really well.

zelda10 · 09/11/2023 20:56

Yes! I realise how lucky I am. I started with my current team a couple of months before lockdown and it completely changed the way we worked as a service. Having to adjust to Zoom and rely on each other in a different way really bonded us together and I can honestly say I will be friends with at least 6 or 7 of them for life. Proper friends not just work friends.

Prior to this role I was in the same office for 14 years… haven’t stayed in touch with a single person.

Tisfortired · 09/11/2023 20:59

I have just (as in Monday!) left the job in an office I have worked at for nearly 10 years. In those years I have had really close friendships with people, see them out of work etc. But what I find is that as soon as people leave, the friendship drifts apart and there might be a couple more attempts to meet but you realise that actually the main thing you had in common was work.

The people I had considered ‘friends’ for the last 9 years haven’t even messaged me to say goodbye. (I left straight from mat leave.)

CharlotteStreetW1 · 09/11/2023 21:03

Last month I went away for a big birthday along with some friends and family. The friends included a colleague from my current job and a colleague from my last job. The following week I went for birthday drinks with three friends from a job I left 17 years ago and the next night I went out again with three friends from my current job. So in answer to your question: very much so, yes.

BMrs · 09/11/2023 21:05

I have really good friends at work but been at the same place 14 years. One of my work friends is godparent to my children

Duttercup · 09/11/2023 21:08

I WFH full time and have a couple of good friends at work.

Oganesson118 · 09/11/2023 21:10

Not really no. I am still friends with some people who work for the same company as me but I’ve got to know them through other stuff like fundraising or whatever. Colleagues aren’t really friends for me.