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Hand hold please to stop me being stupid about mammogram

16 replies

Dreamsarereal · 09/11/2023 10:24

I am on the verge of getting in a state.

I had my fifth yearly mammogram a month ago following an operation to remove a high grade DCIS and was told to contact the unit if I hadn’t heard back in six weeks, the same as every year. Unfortunately life has been throwing some pretty brutal situations at us over the past couple of years and I am struggling. My darling DIL is looking after her DM through the last weeks of cancer, my wonderful SIL died last year from a brain tumour. My DIL and I have discussed how both the cancers came after one had looked after elderly parents who died within months of each other and the other after nursing her DS and her DF in their last months and the need for self care in these situations. My DM is suffering from and having investigations for a neurological condition that can cause total cognitive collapse, it can be treated with steroids but I can constantly on edge waiting for symptoms that show it’s returning. My fitness regime is out the window, I’ve had to give up a regular class and another is often missed because of medical appointments and I am eating too much. I had COVID in September and it floored me for the entire month…… SO …..I am now getting convinced that the reason I have not heard back about the mammogram is because they have found something sinister and so they are organising an appointment with the oncologist.
Please talk me down or give me a verbal slap

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 09/11/2023 10:29

They would have contacted you immediately if there was a problem.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 09/11/2023 10:35

I think you may try to contact them and ask. My doctor didn"t call me he thought the breast clinic would.

Illegallyblonder · 09/11/2023 10:41

Hello, I'm sorry you're having such a bad time, that all sounds stressful. I think if you weren't you'd know that you just need to chase it up and it doesn't mean anything other than the NHS are quite often disorganised or incompetent.
Ring your surgery and ask to book it.

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Illegallyblonder · 09/11/2023 10:42

Oh you are waiting for results? I don't think a month is unusual. I would still chase it up. I know what you mean though, I never worry about cervical cancer until I'm waiting for smear results!

Nagado · 09/11/2023 10:44

I operate on the theory that no news is good news. They’d have sent you an appointment for further tests straightaway if there had been anything to worry about. They’re so busy dealing with all the worrying results that all the ‘absolutely fine’ results fall to the bottom of the queue.

I don’t blame you at all for being anxious but it’ll take you five minutes to put yourself out of your misery. Just contact them and tell them you haven’t heard anything.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/11/2023 10:47

They're massively under pressure and some trusts have just implemented a new system which is causing problems.

Email them, clinic, nursing team, GP, the lot. There's also probably a secretarial email contact as well. It's the not knowing that's overwhelming you.

Flowers
Dreamsarereal · 09/11/2023 10:51

Thank you everyone. I know the past four years have all taken the same time, it’s my state of mind that’s the problem at the moment.
I promised my DS’s MIL that I would try to find a bit of joy in everyday, even now she is facing everything as a challenge rather than a sentence, I’m just worn down today.

OP posts:
Nagado · 09/11/2023 12:07

Dreamsarereal · 09/11/2023 10:51

Thank you everyone. I know the past four years have all taken the same time, it’s my state of mind that’s the problem at the moment.
I promised my DS’s MIL that I would try to find a bit of joy in everyday, even now she is facing everything as a challenge rather than a sentence, I’m just worn down today.

Of course you are; you’d have to be super human not to need a break from every day crap now and again, never mind the awful stuff that is happening around you.

So today’s bit of happiness is that you reached out for help and lots of people took the time to reassure you and encourage you to put your mind at rest. That’s a nice thing 💐

Timeforabiscuit · 09/11/2023 12:19

Your head is not the problem, you're having a perfectly reasonable reaction to a very difficult time.

Ask about your results, it will help. I'm sure there is a little bit of your brain trying to protect you from more bad news by ignoring it, sometimes these thoughts don't work for our long term best interest though.

Dreamsarereal · 09/11/2023 12:22

Nagado · 09/11/2023 12:07

Of course you are; you’d have to be super human not to need a break from every day crap now and again, never mind the awful stuff that is happening around you.

So today’s bit of happiness is that you reached out for help and lots of people took the time to reassure you and encourage you to put your mind at rest. That’s a nice thing 💐

Oh what a lovely message, you are so very right.
It may seem a cliche but I actually felt my heart lift when I read it. Thank you, it’s like a reboot button has been pushed.
The kindness of strangers x

OP posts:
Dreamsarereal · 09/11/2023 12:29

Timeforabiscuit · 09/11/2023 12:19

Your head is not the problem, you're having a perfectly reasonable reaction to a very difficult time.

Ask about your results, it will help. I'm sure there is a little bit of your brain trying to protect you from more bad news by ignoring it, sometimes these thoughts don't work for our long term best interest though.

You are right about trying to protect myself from further bad news, also part of me is saying that I haven’t time for it at the moment!
I will give them the six weeks, you are given a note saying this when you leave, and by that time, hopefully, two roofs will be fixed, my DB’s MIL will be out of hospital so he can help our DM who will have had her medication check up and her teeth filled.
I am definitely in a different frame of mind from when I started this thread. Thank you all so much.

OP posts:
Crikeyisthatthetime · 09/11/2023 12:46

How strong and sensible you are, you are dealing with so much and you've reached out when it's all getting too much. Sending a ((hug)) and a hand hold 🫴🏾

Dreamsarereal · 09/11/2023 14:17

This is why Mumsnet is special. Just when you think the world is being taken over by self interest strangers reach out and bring such comfort. I will pass it on xx

OP posts:
Dreamsarereal · 17/11/2023 18:00

Update
All clear. The letter came just under the six week deadline and my next mammogram will be just a normal check.
Thank you everyone who helped me last week x

OP posts:
Nagado · 17/11/2023 18:42

Bloody fantastic news! So pleased for you! 💐

Crikeyisthatthetime · 17/11/2023 22:31

Woohoo!
You're very welcome. And breathe... 😘

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