Had a breakdown-it’s like my brain has been wiped

[Chihowhow]

I don’t even know how to do the basics of life any more. I can’t get my head around how to keep on top of me looking ok, or the house, or the cleaning. Will I ever get these abilities back again? I was deteriorating for a long time before I was hospitalised, so I’m worried all my supposed capabilities are gone forever.

I’m sure I used to be able to keep on top of things. Where do I start to re-learn basic skills (even down to parenting?)

I think it's very unlikely that they are gone forever, but that must be very distressing for you. Is there another adult around to help with parenting? There's a lot of leeway for everything else.

Could you sit down with a piece of paper and make some lists that you eventually move to a weekly planner so you have a framework of basic tasks and when to do them that doesnt require you to make decisons. Once you can get a rhythm going on those basics, you might start to find it easier to make extra decisions, or tweak the schedule to make it suit you better.

Just an example for you:
-Shower and wash hair every mon and thurday
-Brush hair in the morning so it doesn't get too knotty
-Put clothes in laundry basket each evening.
-Wear something clean each day so you never have to think about whether it needs a wash.
-Eat breakfast every day at 8am, lunch at 12, dinner at 6. Load dishwasher after each meal.
-if you are responsible for cooking for your kids, start a thread on here asking about meal prep and get a very simple plan going for each week. Plan the same meals and shopping list on a 2week rotation so it stays routine and achievable.
-One house task per day eg. Monday clean toilets and sinks, Tues vacuum upstairs, weds vacuum downstairs, etc.

• If your kids are little make sure they go through the bath every sun eve as a minimum. If they are preteens, twice a week minimum. Teens needs to be every other day minimum, plus after anything sweaty.

I just wanted to say that I agree with the above poster. You have been through so much, and probably have also been on quite strong medication, so it might feel at the moment that everything is impossible. You won't have forgotten though how to look after yourself, your household and your family so much as it just seems like a different lifetime ago. You still have the capacity to do all those things, but perhaps step by step with a lot of support as well.

I agree getting support, making lists and starting small will be the way to go. I have clawed my way back from both MH and physical health problems and the main thing is not to be too ambitious- perhaps just a shower is enough on one day, and then a rest. It might be you can't do all of the things to the same level initially. But you will be able to build up routines over time. Good luck with it all.

You could also just start with small steps each week.

So just do teeth, hair, get dressed. For a week.
Then shower & wash hair, clothes in laundry basket for a week.

Then add loading and unloading dishwasher etc

Break it down.