Potential mild ASD?

[Rainyautumn]

Sorry, might be a long post.

My DD (6) has been until around about 5 yo a very typical child. Hit all milestones on time, very good clear speech since she was a toddler with huge vocabulary, quite mature for her age, no meltdowns or tantrums since she was 2 yo. Great eye contact (when she was a baby in her pram she used to look at people in the street, smile at them and then wave).

Settled into nurseries/school with no help, she loved and still loves school. Always seeking social interaction and has a few friends at school and outside school. Doing well academically.

No sensory issues apart from being scared of the toilet flusher/hand dryer which I know a lot of NT girls struggle with as well.

However, there are lots of odd behaviours that I've noticing now she's older.

Since the age of 3 she started flapping her hands (with excitement mostly) and school reported when she was in Reception that she used to zone out and hand flap. She'd stop when prompted. This hand flapping has disappeared now and her Y1 Teacher said she has not seen her do that at all.

Her speech is very immature, she talks like a 4 year old, finds it hard to articulate what she thinks and I can see a huge gap between her and lots of other 6 year olds. This is very upsetting because she never had speech issues.

School says she still 'zones out' and has to be prompted to do her work. She's also slower than the rest of the class, although capable and likes to finish her work at a good standard. She started school being in the top group for maths and has now slipped because she can't do it independently and asks for explicit instructions. Once she gets the instructions, she does it very well and is working ahead of the curriculum. Her teacher also said she got great eye contact, she doesn't cover her ears at the sound of toilet or hand dryer anymore so they are keeping an eye on her too.

I can see she is not very socially fluent. She is happy to just follow other kids and is quite naive in the way she understands the interactions. She is very loved by some of the girls in her class but these girls are very boisterous and bright and I think they like her because she's the total opposite to them, she doesn't argue, she's happy to follow them and is very kind.

She swings from one leg to the other when trying to articulate something, sometimes shakes her her from side to side when thinking about something and we think these little quirks are replacing the hand flapping.

She also paces back and forth a lot being in her own little world.
I am still getting her dressed especially in the mornings, (half) spoon feeding her as she is so slow and 'away with the fairies'.

On a 1 to 1 basis she is very chatty, (almost too chatty) and overconfident with strangers.

She's at a private prep girl school and I notice how totally different she is from all the other girls.

I should say she's been under the care of a pediatrician since she was a baby for a potential thyroid issue (all my side of the family has it) and so she's been assessed regularly (now twice a year) for any physical/mental development and no doctor ever spotted anything. They always commented how typical her behaviour was and how bright she was. I brought a few issues up last year and the dr said she's probably just got a few quirks like most of 5 year olds as she didn't seem to struggle with anything.

I'm having another appointment with her doctor soon and I just don't know how to approach this as I do feel like she needs an assessment but from and NHS perspective I don't think she meets the criteria yet. Is it too early to take her for an assessment, is going private worth it at this stage?

Can anyone relate to this?

So happy to hear you were able to get a diagnosis so quickly and your DD is thriving.

Looking back we didn't have these signs at that age. She started seeking social interaction when she was approaching the age of 3 (we were in lockdown when she turned 2.5) and we sent her to a lovely Montessori nursery in the second lockdown, the winter one, as she was so desperate to play with children. And the feedback from the nursery was always how well she was doing. First week she was shy and quiet but then by second week she knew all her routines, she knew everyone's name, she was playing with everyone and so on. When she left the nursery her teachers told me she was going to do amazing wherever she goes. I used to get that comment all the time at that age. Nothing at all was pointed out to us and that carried on until after first half term in Reception, when she was 5.

Hi do you have an update on your darling daughter ?

Hi @Toddlermama123, it's been a while, I had to read my OP again :)

My lovely DD is generally doing well, still very social and chatty, excells at maths and loves school. But as she grows I see more and more that she is ND. No diagnosis yet but thinking to go private before going to secondary, she's still so little (Y2).

Her main issue is communication, struggles to communicate how she's feeling, overexplains everything which makes me switch off a lot of the time, very young in her thinking. She's getting better at social clues. At school struggles with distractibility and makes silly mistakes. But she's playing with a few girls at school and made new friends at and outside school, so her social life is not bad at the moment.

A bit of stimming when excited or stressed, still jumps a lot which is very unusual to see in a 7 year old.

I absolutely know she is ND now as the difference between her and other children is becoming a lot more obvious.

I should say that a year ago her school have expressed some concerns about her being ASD. No adjustments have been made other than ocassionally checking with her that's she's happy. She's very involved in all activities, happy to go on stage, happy to go in front of the class helping her classmates with maths etc. So she can definitely behave like a happy, confident NT child, very good at masking. For now.

My non medical opinion is that it sounds like inattentive ADHD and possibly just a slow cognitive tempo/slow processing speed. I was very like that as a child and diagnosed in my late 30s. I managed well enough until perimenopause but it was quite hard work- there's more support and understanding now. I'm on a waiting list for ASD assessment.

I don't have any sensory issues - having said that a couple of years ago I got noise cancelling headphones and when I use them I don't run out of energy so quickly - for me it's just quite hard work to form speech.

Thank you for your advice. Can I ask you if you remember your school days and your struggles?

Also, why do you think an ASD assessment might be beneficial for you now?

Thank you for the update and I am happy to know that your girl is happy and thriving . In your first post you said she always met milestones so I guess her receptive and expressive language were always robust , especially if only recently teachers have mentioned the possibility of asd . I was told on a different forum that if you have strong expressive and receptive language skills on par with the child’s age you can’t possibly be on the spectrum ( this is baby centre community “ worried about autism “ and it is run by ND people “ . Did you notice anything when she was younger ?

Hi OP, your first post sounds exactly like my DD who is 6. Not enough typical traits to make a confident conclusion and just enough to make you constantly question it. My whole family told me shes fine and made me feel like I was going crazy. Even a family member who is a HV said nah shes fine. Anyway now DD is on waiting list for ASD assessment and is under the SENCO @ her school. School raised concerns.
If you raise your concerns to GP they should refer her? My daughters speech regressed in reception (it was previously excellent) and the SaLT pushed the referral too as well.
She also has the zoning out and slow processing going on.

On a separate note she was then diagnosed with epilepsy which meant the zoning out has improved with medication. She still has the other traits. Her Neurologist also at first batted off ASD stating “she makes good eye contact”. Then 6 months later asked if we had considered getting her assessed 🤣

Trust your gut. If she assessed and no diagnosis at least you will know for sure.

Thank you for your reply.

Interesting, I haven't noticed anything unusual in terms of expressive language when she was little, I had no worries at all and no one else from her nursery at the time has expressed any concerns. In fact, everyone used to comment on how articulate, polite and mature she was for a such a young girl. Great eye contact, great smile. She's still the same now in terms of eye contact and smile.

One thing I found a bit odd was that, as she was getting older, she used a lot of big hand gestures when trying to explain something as if she couldn't get the words out without massive hand swinging or flapping or head shaking, something that other people noticed too. Doesn't do it so much now. I did wonder at the time whether she had some sort of head trauma that I wasn't aware of, the change was so shocking.

Hi @bouncingaround, thank you for sharing your experience. Can you share more about the speech regression in Reception and did you start on SALT?

Also, what were the school's main concerns?

Thank you.