MIL gave the children gold-plated spoons. What on earth am I supposed to do with them?!

[NotLactoseFree]

The heading says it all. MIL has purchased "24 karat gold plated" spoons for the DC. They're extremely ugly. I thought, when she gave them "gold spoons" they were just gold coloured and a bit of fun. Then I read they are gold plated. Does that mean anything or is it so little gold it only adds £2 to the price and I can continue to treat them as every day spoons and if the DC think its funny to use gold spoons, great.

Should they be using them? Not using them? packed away!?

I mean WHY!?

Spoons like that are only useful if they are silver and you are born with one in your mouth already!

put them up the loft in a memory box of other tat so when ur child moves out ooh this is all urs and they can do what they want with it. don't throw it out it's still a gift.

I still have a boxed set of what are supposed to be Georgian silver ice cream spoons, a silver wedding present to my folks in about 1965. AFAIK they have never once been used.
As far as I can see, the hallmark is not a recognised U.K. one. Maybe I’ll finally get around to having them valued one day.

The gold plate won’t last long if you use them and even less if they go in the dishwasher

If they are Sterling underneath (possible but unlikely unless she paid a lot for them) they have virtually no intrinsic value.

Do they have any markings? If not they’d be straight down the charity shop here. I’m not one for keeping pointless clutter. I’ve just inherited all the silver family napkins and christening mugs and I’m melting them down to reuse the silver.

I'd ask her "MIL are these everyday spoons to be used or are they decorative keepsake spoons?"

If they are keepsakes stick them in a box with anything else sentimental and let the DC decide when they are older.

Those are very pretty.

There are jewellers who specialise in using the handles of spoons like that to make rings so keep that in mind before you get rid of them.

This is beautiful. This is the most Mumsnet post I've ever read in my entire life. I need to know more. Does he use this napkin ring for actual napkins?

Is it once a day? Thrice a day on holidays and commemorative events? Does he insert his napkin into the ring, as his toast is gently toasting, only to remove it with an upper middle class flourish after buttering his artisanal sprouted grain sourdough bloomer with lashings of isigny sainte-mere? Does he have multiple different napkins ? one specific to each meal? Or a dozen all the same? just one special napkin ring?

They are spoons. Unless told otherwise assume they are to use. When scuffed and no longer fit for purpose, send to metal recycling.

I’d take them to be a memento!

I would get a frame (deepish) from a thrift shop and frame them. Write the date on the back and ask your mum in law to write a wee message and sign.

I think in twenty years this will be a lovely thing to have…

I have a bracelet made out of vintage silver spoons! It looks nicer than it sounds, promise.

I'ma afraid the is where my cynicism comes in. If she wants them to be sentimental momentos then she needs to do this. She literally just handed them to DH and said, "these are for the DC". But now I must do the work to turn these into a meaningful and sentimental gift for them?

No thank you.

this thread has actually helped me. I was a bit confused, slightly amused and slightly irritated all at the same time and I couldn't quite figure out why. But now I know.

I am going to tell the DC they are from MIL and that they can use them or not as they like but if they go in the dishwasher, the colour/gold will probably disappear quickly. Then I'm going to not think about it again.

I'm sorry, but can you explain further? He uses a napkin ring every day?

Do you have formal breakfasts? Dinners? Honestly this is delightful, I'm so intrigued!

OP to answer your question these are not valuable. Honestly just put them away and make sure your kids take them with them when they move out they were gifted to your children so they are not yours to give away however impractical gift it is.

DS has a gold (coloured, not plated) spoon that he found in his Christmas stocking many years ago.
"Oh, mummy, look, look! A GOLD spoon!"
He absolutely loved it, and still uses it everyday even though he's now a teenager.
So my vote is give the spoons to the children to use (special spoons from grandma!) but don't put them in the dishwasher.

I have a few things that were given to me as a child that are very sentimental to me now. Porcelain 'crazy' tea sets, a Hummel figurine, monogrammed silver jam spoons, that kind of thing. I wasn't allowed to play with them as a child, but I used to love to look at them and hold them when my Mum supervised. I still love to look at them and I now use the practical ones. Nothing wrong with keeping stuff for your kids that they may appreciate when they're older.

I'd let the kids use them. Exactly the same logic as bunnikins plates etc.

They are either unused cupboard clutter that eventually is binned or used and if they get worn or damaged so be it at least they were used.

A gold teaspoon would be better than a silver one (whether solid or plated) for eating boiled eggs with, I think. Silver spoons are bad for that as the bit of hydrogen sulfide in eggs (even quite fresh ones) reacts and tarnishes it with black silver sulfide. Gold is much less reactive so should be better.

BTW I have children's cutlery with DHs name. DH couldn't give a toss about it. The kids occasionally use it. But I don't feel I can bin it.

You know what this means? One of your DC will have to name a child after your DH so you can give them the cutlery.

😆 😂 no more babies for me.
Grandkids are a heck of a long way away. But if I end up with one with DH name they can have it.

‘But now I must do the work to turn these into a meaningful and sentimental gift for them? ‘

You must dislike her to think like that?

Fair enough but unless there’s a horrible backstory I fail to see badness in her gesture.

Maybe she didn’t have the idea to frame the spoons but that doesn’t mean she deliberately wanted you to feel compelled to do work.

I don't think this means OP doesn't like her. I love my nanna to bits but the absolute shite she used to give me for the kids was unprecedented.

@graceinspace999 I don't dislike her, but yes, there is form for this sort of thing where I land up doing a whole bunch of unnecessary work. From minor, moderately annoying examples, to more extreme pisstake versions (the most egregious being her announcement on 23 December as I was walking out the door to collect DS' first bike that I'd bought weeks before but the shop had agreed to store for me, "Oh, that can be MY present for him. I don't have anything and I've bought all my grandchildren's first bikes").

That's why I said this thread was helpful as it helped me to see that I was a bit irritated IF I felt I had to take that on. If I don't, I can just take it as what it is and let the kids enjoy/not enjoy them as they like.

Definitely use them, we have some beautiful golden spoons (coloured not plated I think) with ceramic handles with animals on a relative gave us and it never occurred to me they were meant to be keepsakes. We use ours with ice cream/puddings and it makes it seem more special. Who cares if the gold wears off eventually, that's how things go, at least they'll have some lovely memories of them rather than them sitting pristine in a box in the attic.

I see what you mean. That was so cheeky!