I can't cope with life and I just want to be able to...

[EvilElsa]

Sorry for the dramatic title.
I've always been an anxious person, but about 3 years ago I had a breakdown and now I just really struggle with life. I'm very happily married with two great teenagers. We have a business that does well and a nice house. Looking at it like that I should be fantastic but I'm a nervous wreck and if I have one little thing go wrong I can't deal with it. I can catastrophise any situation, I worry constantly. I've cut myself off from friends as I just can't deal with the worry of having friends. I hide in the house when neighbours are outside, I avoid any social situations. I work from home (my choice) as I can't stand being around people at work as I worry about them constantly (are they happy, have I upset someone, are they talking about me). Today I've had a neighbour speak to DH about cutting a tree down in our garden and all I've done all day is worry about it -its absolutely ridiculous as we get on well with next doors, nothing is wrong but as much as I tell myself that I can't let go of the panic.
I just wondered if anyone else feels and lives like this and what they have done/do to help? I'm absolutely sick to death of it and feel exhausted pretending to be ok all the time to be a decent mum and do my job. I just don't want to feel like this anymore.

I had a breakdown a few weeks ago. I'm out of the worst of it now. But still find life a struggle. Have you got much support?

You have my sympathies, I had a breakdown just last month. Everything was just getting too much. Keep going, keep talking. We are all here to support each other.

I'm so sorry, its shit isn't it. I'm so glad you are through the worst of it. I do have a wonderful DH who is so supportive (and who I feel really sorry for and guilty as I've put him through all this shit with me). I also have my parents and sister but they don't really know how its been for me...I'm the "strong" one ironically who always supports everyone else. How have you got through if you don't mind me asking? Did you take medication?

I'm so sorry. As much as I wish others were not suffering it is nice to have people who understand. I really hope we all get better.

I tried meds, but the side effects were so awful for me that I didn't stick with them. Also in my case it was caused by trauma, and so talking therapies were/are a better fit.
Also just letting it take its course. Once I could sleep things got better.
I have to be honest too and admit I'm dissociating somewhat. That's really the thing that's getting me through, for as long as I need to, I've kind of taken myself to another world. I'm not fully present, and for me that's a good thing.
I really do hope things improve for you soon. It's such an exhausting thing isn't it x

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

I have been in breakdown territory for a lot of this year (especially back in January/February). Was on meds for anxiety. Lately though I've had a new clarity about myself which I'm still processing but basically my daughter is on a waiting list for assessment for ADHD and having read a lot about it I've come to the conclusion I'm neurodiverse in some way myself. Not sure if it's ADHD or 'high functioning' autism but this idea that I'm probably wired differently from most other people in my life makes so much sense, tbh it's revelatory. I know it seems to be everywhere these days and probably doesn't apply to you but am just sharing in the off-chance that it might, because it has literally been life changing. For one thing, I'm much kinder to myself now

Much love to all of you suffering. I really do feel for you all xxx

I feel exactly the same, have recently finally got an ASD diagnosis. It has helped my life make sense.