Why do I keep having this dream?

[UpUpUpU]

My partner is a widower. He lost his wife to cancer a couple of years before I met him. We have been together 2 years and we have a loving and safe relationship. There have never been any issues with his bereavement. He has always been respectful of me and our relationship. We don’t live together but it’s on the cards for the future.

anyway, the last couple of weeks, I have started to have dreams that we live together but that his wife lives with us too. It is so unsettling as in the dreams she is very affectionate towards him and I am pushed out but when she is t there it’s just like normal with me and him.

Now I know this is a me issue but how do a stop these dreams? Have I been burying something I need to deal with? Last nights was particularly vivid and unsettling.

A wife is a big and meaningful relationship and I expect it's just that you know that she had that important place in his life and so you are sharing him in a way.
Personally I'd just let them play out. If you're a lucid dreamer you could set yourself the task of initiating a conversation with dream wife where you tell her she will always be loved and you'll take good care of him, or similar, see what dream wife says back. 😁

It's probably an anxiety dream. Mine can be scarily vivid. If you are able to lucid dream it could help. I can't so I need to reduce my stress/anxiety in other ways.

Have you read this? It may help: slate.com/human-interest/2009/06/my-husbands-other-wife-she-died-so-i-could-find-the-man-i-love.html

Blimey that article has been given a brutal headline which belies it's kind nature.
It would be more accurate if it said 'I found the man I loved because his first wife was taken by illness'
Or even if the 'so' was replaced by 'which meant'

This is a brilliant idea, thank you

Thank you. I will read that this evening :)