Is there such thing as 'the one' when it comes to relationships

[DeepFriedKermit]

And how did you know you'd found them?

I met my DH as a teen and he was my first crush. There was just something about him I and all the other girls adored. We grew up and our lives went in separate directions - both married, both had children. We ended up back in touch just months after each separating and now, after all this time, are very happy together.

I don't think we'd have lasted had we got together as teens though - we were too different back then with entirely different lives.

I used to believe in the "one" but then I realised that are probably hundreds of people in the wooed that I could have loving and romantic relationship with if fate threw them my way.

Yep!!

I've had 3!

They were all the one, until they weren't. - and I really did think they were, not least my 'D'H.

Everyone has their own experiences and views. I think there are a few 'ones' out there but it all comes down to timing. Guess like in the films if it's meant to be you will mert up again one day bit sadly mostly not. Just kinda happens when you feel ready to know it's time to share your life? X

Perhaps not a "one" as in a preordained, soulmates type thing but finding someone you are compatible with, who loves you and wants only you, who looks after you and prioritizes you and who you feel the same about, who shares your values, who you can grow with who doesn't irritate or stifle you, who turns you on and makes you laugh. For a lot of people that is a rare, once in a lifetime thing and if you find it then in my experience you will know it. It just feels good and easy and right in a way that other relationships haven't, you don't have the doubts or the angst of other relationships which even if they are good can still exist underneath. Sadly many people never even experience that level of connection and trust even once, some people might find it twice or even three times. Its down to luck really.

I don’t believe it, it’s clicking with the right person and then hard work. If it’s not the right person, no amount of right work will help though.

With both my last long term exes i never thought that. Met my now dh and from day 1 i was like ' hes the one'
So far he still is 😂

I think there are probably many, many 'the one's. They're just not necessarily where you are ever likely to meet them.

I think so. I didn't meet my "one" until I was 39. I'd already been married and divorced and through the rough dating mill,

I'd given up and was happy and content alone enjoying time with my friends building my career.

Then I met him in the local pub. On his birthday. I knew his friends. He knew mine (small village) so I genuinely do think our paths were meant to cross or would have someday. That night out was cancelled initially. But two of us decided to go anyway!

This really resonated with me as I believe I've found my one

I think my husband is as close as I'll ever get. 17 years and I just think he's my perfect fit, and looking at the relationships of friends and family, the state of the dating pool in my age group, the posts I see on here... I don't think I could find someone else who'd make me as happy or giddy or content as he does.

Find me a man who is exactly like him in every wag who doesn't stuff socks down the gaps in the sofa though, and he can be my new "one".

Interesting question!

It depends on how you frame love, relationships and spirituality.

So eg, people who live happy contented lives with a partner but it was an arranged marriage, do you believe they've been denied the chance to meet "the one"?

I'm inclined to agree with PP that actually, we're all decent people and want what's best for our fellow people, so all of us have a strong likelihood of meeting a suitable partner out of people we could find at a hand's reach.

If you're happy, you're happy, that's the main thing!

I would have said not but then it did happen to me. I had the whole clichéd thing of looking across a crowded room and at first sight thinking 'I love you'

We didn't actually end up in a relationship until years later for various reasons. Mostly because i convinced myself i was being insane and of course i was not in love with a man at first sight. We had chatted at the event though and kept in contact as friends over the years.

When we did actually get together it turned out he had felt exactly the same way when he had first seen me. I don't just have his word for it, he writes.. keeps extensive journals, has done since childhood. There on the date we met in one of the journals he wrote about his feelings when he saw me. Very similar to my own. Felt like I'd known him forever.

We've been narried 10 years now and have 2 children and a 3rd on the way.
Never felt this strongly about anyone else (altho I have loved other men it wasn't as immediate or as clear cut there would always be a part of me that wasnt quite sure) and he says that he never did either.

Na course not, it's illogical. It's about finding someone who is a good fit, and I think there will be lots of people out there a good fit for each other! I met DH at 17, very grateful to have met such a lovely man at such a young age in my life, do I think it was destiny? Inevitable? Na, we are two people in the same local universe who like each other a lot