How does anyone afford a 2nd maternity leave?

[maybemumm]

When you’re TTC a first, you can save up to cover the shortfall in pay throughout maternity leave.

Even if you wait until first goes to school, if you both work full time presumably you still have to pay for wraparound before and after school care for some or all of the days - which isn’t cheap. How do you then save for a second maternity leave with that extra cost? Plus the cost of birthdays, parties, Christmas, days out, holidays, new clothes and uniform, new shoes every few months for #1 which all obviously costs a lot. Before you have one you can choose to save all your disposable income in theory. You don’t have that same flexibility of choice for the second time round - not to mention there are plenty of people I know who reduce their working hours a lot after having just one. This would mean you’d get less maternity pay as well?

I was on half pay plus SMP plus 3 months SMP only so went back at 9 months. First child was getting 15 hours funded by then. It was tight. Holidays were UK camping in a tent with very rare nights out for a few years.

Well the simple answer is people have different incomes. We didn’t save for my first maternity leave and we haven’t saved for my second, we can cover our outgoings, some luxuries and holidays from the income we have from my maternity pay and DHs usual salary. We won’t be able to save money whilst I’m off.

Have a shorter mat leave….9 months is nice but not mandatory….I’m a lot older so things were different…i went back at 3 months with all 3 of mine…I wasn’t going into debt…..you do what you have to

My maternity leave was 3 months full pay followed by 6 months SMP and then I took all of the holiday I'd accrued so I went back to work when DD2 was 10 months old (same for my first maternity leave with DD1.)

Put simply, we could afford all our bills when I was being paid SMP and to live but had to really cut our cloth to suit. So no holidays and meals out etc during that time and no extra going into savings but it was for a relatively short time and then I was back at work and earning again.

First maternity leave was savings, second one was credit card, third one, I had to go back to work when he was 16 weeks old and it was horrible.
It was a long time ago, so maternity pay is better now, but that's how we managed it. No help with nursery or childcare costs was available either, and very high interest rates.
Most of our friends were in the same boat, so that made it seem more normal, but we very rarely went out, only to friends houses. No cinema, theatre, gigs, pub, holiday, and everything for the DC was borrowed or from a boot sale.

Tbh we always live a pretty modest lifestyle anyway. I only got SMP both times.

Took the paid 9 months with DC1 plus a month of AL but I went back 4 days instead of FT. DC2 was more complicated as I didn't go back to my job and swapped it for a few other ones instead which all started at different times but again dropped another day to 3 days a week and was back properly when they were almost 12 months old. I'd been on leave for about 6 weeks before they'd even been born though, 3 weeks AL and 3 weeks mat leave, he was very late which I wasn't expecting.

I dunno, we still always saved as usual through my mat leaves too, we don't have an extravagant lifestyle. And no neither of us are higher rate tax payers so modest incomes, I was getting paid just over minimum wage until I started my new jobs after DC2.

I only have one by choice, but I earn a lot more now than I did before my first mat leave, I work full time and so does my husband, we save money every month. It would be easier this time than last. You're making a lot of assumptions about women's choices and incomes

I don’t mean to be, I’m just wondering how most make it work. Sorry if it comes across in that way.

I'm an older mum. I was fortunate to have built up savings over a long time.

@maybemumm maybe it's the area I live in but most mums I know work full time, with both parents compressing hours, working different days/WFH to do drop.off etc etc. It's not bad if you're a partnership. If everything falls to the woman whose also had to go back part time in a low paying job to accommodate the career of his lordship, might be more challenging

Waited for a 3 year gap so we got childcare and then oldest started school when I returned to work.

1st DC I had 13 months off, went back part time, 2nd DC I had six months off and went back full time…. Couldn’t afford any longer off. That was 18 weeks full pay then savings topping up SMP. I was at the time the higher earner. 2nd DC went to nursey full time and we both worked full time.

I waited til mine was school age to have my 2nd. At that point, I’d been back to work 4 years and my income was at least double, probably a bit more, what it was before my first mat leave. Dh’s was probably triple when we had our first. We spent a lot of time in those in between years building a successful business and getting promotions to make life as easy as possible. We actually had a much easier time after our second was born than after our first. We also don’t really spend loads on days out, parties, Christmas, so that explains a lot too.

Took five months off with first baby and four months with second. we did live in a country with very little maternity pay though.

Charity shops and Ebay (for adults and children alike). Accepting every piece of children's clothing given as gifts. Camping with a 2 and 4 years old. I hope it helps

We had our three fairly close together (3.5 years between eldest and youngest) and whilst I took a year off with all of them, the third was made up of more annual leave rather than a full 12 months mat leave to get a decent wage during the last few months, I also did kit days which I didn't do with the first two.

My wage did increase by about 8k per year between babies 1 and 3 but the main thing for us is that our life with 2, and then 3 kids was different to when we only had one. When we had our first we just took her everywhere with us and cracked on with holidays and going out to eat etc as usual, once we had two this was a lot more chaotic so whilst life got more expensive in some areas it actually got cheaper in others. Lockdown also helped us financially - we were lucky that both our incomes were unaffected plus no childcare/extra curricular costs and no holidays or eating out etc. My husband also changed jobs so we both work flexibly and part time to reduce nursery fees and spend more time with the kids.

It is hard when you have children close together you just have to find what works for you. There's also a need to accept that your first mat leave is pretty special with no other commitments and for a lot of people more disposable income, but second time round things are often very different.

Thank you this makes sense

I made a conscious choice to go back FT in between my two pregnancies for exactly this reason. It has cost a lot in nursery fees this year but the amount extra I'll get in mat pay is more than we've paid out in the difference between 3/4 days a week vs FT nursery. I made a choice not to take any unpaid leave (i have a good package so did 6months full pay + 3 months stat pay rather than a year.) I was also able to go for a promotion. I intend to drop my hours after mat leave #2 by which time DD1s funded hours will have kicked in. So essentially its been a really careful balancing act and number crunching to try and work out what would best work for our family and to give two children as equal an experience as possible. (We had infertility / fertility treatment so although no guarantee of two, we hoped we would be lucky enough to go for a second).

Not everything is doom and gloom. If you are saving for a second child then you cut your cloth accordingly and cut spending where you can. Some people will reduce their hours but if you can work around each other that of course helps.
You don't have to take the full year with your second and if you have to take 9 months as opposed to a year, well then that's just life. What's to say the dh or partner won't have a raise in between or you won't yourself thereby reducing the pressure a bit. Most people also realise that the quality of life may change once they have 2 kids and less dispoalsable income so prepare themselves for that. Usually you will have all the big ticket items anyway so you reuse them, clothes too can be re worn or purchased cheaply from supermarkets and you will (most likely) be gifted stuff too.

My first 2 have a gap of 15 months. I took 10 months with dd1 and a year the second time with ds2. We had all the expensive stuff but I needed a double buggy which both sets of grandparents contributed to. We also bought a house and had to furnish that so yes we spent accordingly. We didn't eat out and I didn't buy new clothes for myself till I got back to work. No trips away that year and really tightened our belts. I went back to.work and life got easier. We now have 3, dd2 is 2 and I went back to work after a year. I reused everything I had including clothes, just bought a new mattress. She gets new stuff as and when needed and hot lots of clothes when she was born. Dh has had 2 promotions in that time and I'm now self employed and much better off each month.

I could afford it I suppose because I didn't have a 'career' just a job, so I didn't really make that much money to miss it. We had a 2 bed house in an ok but not desirable area so our mortgage was small and we could live quite comfortably on oh's wages.

I only worked 2 days per week after I had my 1st child and grandparents provided childcare for those days. On both maternity leaves my maternity pay was not a lot less than my actual wages had been when I was working full time, again because I didn't earn all that much to start with.

I think this where the smart money is. Go back ft between leaves and wait for the free hours on your return after DC2 ( isn't it now 30 for working parents ?).

i had a 4 year gap, so DD1 was starting school when DD2 was born and i didn't have two sets of childcare fees when i went back to work

Maternity leave of several months is a choice - if you want another child but can't afford to stay off 12 months then you go back to work once your full pay ends 😉

Yep, this. I did six months with my first then went back to work whilst husband took over for the next three as he earns less than me. We'll be doing the same this time around except that we earn £10k more between us now so we should be a tad better off. Son now gets 30 free hours childcare which will help but that's more of a coincidence than anything else as I had three miscarriages so the potential age gap just got bigger than planned.

ML was OK - not paying nursery fees while I was off freed up enough cash.
The cash flow issue was when both were in FT nursery. Even with 30 free hours that was crippling. Eased up once DS1 started school.