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Painful questions

2 replies

Orangezestfun · 05/11/2023 21:54

I am in my 30s and have no children. I don't mind questions about whether I want children, I used to find these hard but I know people mean well. However I'm starting to struggle with the follow ups, which are usually compliments like I'd be a good mum, I'm good with x child. A lot of my friends have young children and I enjoy playing with them. These comments always come from people in my parents' generation so I do try and remember that they think they're being nice but it's really painful. Really I know there's nothing else I can do, I wouldn't want to be rude, but I just wondered if anyone had similar experiences so I don't feel alone?!

OP posts:
Definitelyastrongcoffeeday · 06/11/2023 01:55

It got to the point in my life where I wanted to scream at everyone “Well tell me WHY EXACTLY you had children!”

I hear you OP, I had IVF for decades and the well-meaning comments from those not in the know cut me like a knife.

DH & I agreed we would say ‘It’s just not for us right now but I’ll be sure to update you if & when!’

It did work. Wishing you well 💐

Catsmere · 06/11/2023 05:47

You may find threads where women describe similar experiences in the MNetters Without Children (formerly Childfree) section, OP.

I'm 60, so mercifully not getting anything like that now, and when I did, it was from idiot randoms, not people I knew. I found completely out-of-left-field answers the best way to shut them up. My favourite was "the child I bear will be the next King of France or I'm not having it."

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