What have we done? Please help! DC switch to bed at age of 3

[scribbles82]

DS is 3 years and 4 months, and we've only just moved him out of his cot bed. Very late compared to many I know but he's never tried to climb out and always slept through the night, (it's a large junior cotbed) so I was of the philosophy if it ain't broke don't fix it.

Anyway at 3.4 we thought it's about time he switched to having the sides of the cotbed taken down dvd converted to normal bed. First night went perfectly- he slept through and the only change was at 7am he came through into our room instead of calling out - fine.

However, last night he woke at 2am after a bad dream and came through into our room, and came into our bed. It was a nightmare as DH is a thrasher in his sleep and was snoring and DS kept waking up and complaining that Daddy was too loud, plus DS was wriggling and sitting up and I didn't sleep a wink! Then at 5.30am just as I was drifting off DS woke up for the day because it's so light in our room (DS room has blackout blinds). We never did co-sleeping when DS was a baby as it didn't work for us - he always slept so much better in his own cot. I shouldn't have allowed him to stay but I was fast asleep and tired and wanted to comfort him and naively thought it would be fine. In the end we've had an awful night and I'm dreading tonight!!!

DH is saying we should put the sides back up on his bed but surely not! What is the best way to get him to stay in his room if he wakes up? I've spoken to DS about it but he is very stubborn and I fear now that he's done this once this will be his go to!!

I hope we didn't shoot ourselves in the foot leaving it this late to switch to a bed, but as I said we were all getting a perfect night's sleep!

Help!!!!! Has anyone successfully made the switch to bed at this older age?

Get him a gro clock and explain he can’t leave his bedroom until the sun comes up

when he does anyway, quietly lead him back to bed every single time

I mean, it was one night? You say yourself the other night was fine. kids wake up and have bad dreams sometimes, sometimes they have a bad night sleep just like adults. You can't put the sides back on because he got out of bed for one night!

In future, I would take him back to bed and sit with him until he settles, then go back to your room. If he gets out again, tell him he is sleeping in his own bed and take him back. At the moment he is confused about the new situation and is testing what the boundaries are - does no cot bars mean I can sleep wherever I want? At 3 and a half he is well old enough to understand an explanation.

My 8 year old occasionally gets up if she has a bad dream and spends the rest of the night in our bed. My youngest is a thrasher so if he ever gets up, which is rare, I take him back and after a kiss and a cuddle he resettles. It's just learning new routines.

Do you expect your 3 year old to deal with nightmares on his own? Personally I think it's not unreasonable for him to come to your room but one of you should have stayed with ds in his room rather than Co-sleep.
If you don't want him to leave his room then you could stairgate his room and encourage him to shout for you/your h instead?

Oh no of course I don't think it was unreasonable of him to get up and would never expect him to deal with nightmares on his own!! I'm just navigating how to deal with it. I normally go into his room and hold his hand.

I've asked him to call out if he needs me and told him I'll go into his bedroom as normal. If he walks into our room I'll have to pick him up and bring him back to his bed.

I think you have to do what works for you. I have more than one child so I prefer them to come and get me rather than calling out or it wakes others up. We just take them back to bed and so what you were doing before, hold their hand. If you want him to call out, just explain that. With all these things, it's just about forming new habits/ bedding in new routines. Decide what you would like to happen in the event he wakes up, explain it, and expect to have to re-explain, correct for a few weeks while it beds in.

I don't think there's any right or wrong answers here, depends what works best for you.

DC1 was in her cot bed with the sides up until she was about 3yrs and 7 months iirc. She had a dummy overnight until 3yrs and 6 months, we removed the cot bars about a month later once that was all settled. We put a bed guard on which tbh I think dissuaded her somewhat from getting out anyway as it made it a bit of a faff. She also had a baby gate on her bedroom door. For months she continued to just shout of us if she needed us rather than come and get us, we still had a baby monitor for her. We had DC2 as a baby in our room then and would have preferred her to quietly come and get us rather than her yelling voice come through the monitor and sometimes wake DC2 as well! But I guess it was just what she'd been used to for so long really.

I wouldn't make any big changes or decisions based off one bad night. I wouldnt have my DC in the bed with me either though I'd have taken them back to bed and have a gate on their room too.

I changed my dc's cot bed from a cot to bed at around 3 years old. I had to get a stair gate for the bedroom door because the one at the top of the stairs had fallen out of the wall and damaged it badly so any other gate wouldn't work there. I also had a bed guard on the cot to prevent my dc falling out of bed as they are a wriggler and still falls out at 2 years later. I got one that could be broken down and transported when we were staying elsewhere. I also got a groclock. My dc just ignored it in the past so initially didn't work for us but now it is very effective.

I normally go into his room and hold his hand.
Then still do this @scribbles82 . Take him back to his bed, sit with him and hold his hand.

To be honest you have left it late but all toddlers will have nightmares . Both my kids at one time or another have ended up in our bed if they've had a bad night .This is something that will happen occasionally, suck it up he just needs that occasional comfort of mum & dad .