Is anyone else just slap dash in everything they do?

[exerciseviligance]

I was thinking about it this morning after my husband "made the bed" and the duvet was upside down and back to front (it has a pattern one side and that's what we always have facing up).

When he washes up, there's always bits of food left in the pots (he claims it's his eyesight, he can't see it).

Hanging the washing out - all the seams are skewed and sleeves inside out.

After he has a shower, his hair is stood on end until I point it out.

He's the opposite of meticulous in every task he does. It could be strategic incompetence but since I don't take over the tasks he does so sloppily he's got nothing to gain. Why is he like this in all walks of life?

Presumably because the things that bother you, and that you notice, don't bother him at all.

Yep

I'm slapdash about some things. I don't do my hair, just wash and brush it then let it dry how it does, because I'm not bothered. Washing goes on the line and gets dry, does it matter if it's crooked on the line or seams aren't straight?

Yes but it's surely basic stuff? Who washes up and leaves pots caked in food? It's not like I'm that fastidious that everything has to be perfect, far from it.

But this can't be new?

My DH is the same drives me mad but I'm half out of my marriage. Are you sure these are new issues and not just your tolerance changing.

Washing goes on the line and gets dry, does it matter if it's crooked on the line or seams aren't straight?

Well yeah. If sleeves are tucked inside jumpers they don't get dry, and drying things cockeyed leaves you with tops/t shirts that are out of shape.

Tbf you have a good point. For years I did most things because he worked long hours, now he wfh he does domestic things badly more often. And yes I'm menopausal/less tolerant.

They're not things I necessarily want to head to the divorce courts over but it's like death by a thousand cuts.

I can 100% relate, I feel like my DH just isn't adult enough for my life anymore and I'd like to just adult in my own rather than put up with his stupidity.

Your post to me sounds like it's not actually about the dishes or the washing and more about you.

OP, if it's any consolation my ex used to do the crusty pans thing. I was convinced we would all get food poisoning. He was completely useless at considering whether ds had cleaned his teeth or gone to bed on time.

The final straw came when 5yo ds was bitten by a dog, and ex wrapped a tissue round the wound so 'the blood didn't get on the leather of his car seats'. He didn't consider cleaning and disinfecting the wound or taking ds to A&E.

By the time I got back the following day, ds had a raging fever, was crying with a headache and had a blatantly infected hand. Ex couldn't understand why I was furious.

Totally selfish. He wouldn't put himself out enough to take his own injured child to hospital. That's why he's an ex.

Some people are just like that.

I am certainly not a perfectionist. Very much a "that will do" kind of person.

I've got one like this, DH thinks he's being much more efficient than me by doing things quickly. He does performance washing up, lots of energy, water everywhere, dishes piled all over the place on the draining board. But, doesn't wash the pans, wipe the worktop or clean the hob and obviously as he's in such a rush, misses bits on the plates etc. I insist on doing it myself now which might have been his plan! Other things he half does, gets fed up, bored or irritated and says he'll finish it later, or it's not a priority, not on the 'critical path' 🙄