Child upset over criticism of schoolwork by pupils

[Seawaver]

DC(8) is in y4 and has suspected dyslexic traits which have particularly affected his writing ability. Also, his handwriting is messy and hard to read, and tbh he is isn’t good at arty stuff like drawing (again, messy and hard to distinguish what he’s drawn/made etc).

The possible dyslexia issues are being dealt with, however since towards the end of y3 other children in his class are beginning to notice his writing, messy handwriting and that he’s not good at art (I didn’t think that many kids/adults are) and making rude and hurtful comments, laughing etc.

It’s a 3-form entry school and they mix the classes up each year so this is a new/blended class of children and these comments are continuing into y4.

DS is a sensitive child and gets tearful about these comments, and occasionally he says he cried at school. We are aware that he needs to build his resilience but at what point does it cross the line into bullying or just unacceptable behaviour?

The teacher has told me yesterday that DS’ behaviour has been very out of sorts this week, and after DH and I talked to him it seems that it’s the nasty comments that are affecting him and causing him to act out. I’ve told the teacher this via a message (it was after school hours), but is it reasonable that the teacher needs to look into this and see if what DS is saying is correct and deal with those children who are being unkind?

How is his general coordination? If he’s more clumsy than you’d expect and is finding it hard to pick up things like bike riding and team sports, consider a referral to an OT.

if just fine motor skills then hopefully he will have a little programme on the go at school alongside a more personalised programme for fine motor handwriting skills. The website OT mom has ideas.

Try larger barrelled pencils or something like a stability easy pencil for grip.

alongside this, start building typing skills. There’s a free typing programme online called dancer typing. Then he could type some of his longer work whilst continuing to build fine motor handwriting skills. Eventually typing may be the way forward.

and yes, flag up wellbeing to the school and ask them to manage this.

I'd go at this three pronged.

Like @Bimblesalong says, do everything you can to help him with his fine motor skills. My dd had similar problems and went to school in another country where there was absolutely no support for anything. Unfortunately the UK system is now quite similar. There is no money for anything any more. If you think he would benefit from occupational therapy for example then I'd look into this privately.

Secondly, the school. Yes, I would expect the teacher to clamp down on people saying unkind things to your son.

Lastly, I'd work on his confidence outside of school. Help him find something he's good at and can be proud of that will make him feel like he has a skill and is valued outside of the classroom.

@Bimblesalong @savoycabbage
Thanks for your messages and yes we are working with the school about his issues.

It’s unfortunate that at this age children start to notice those who are not on their level / a bit different and choose to be unkind about it. We will follow up with the school before this could possibly escalate further.

Just to add to the other two posters - make sure he's had his eyes recently tested. Some eye conditions e.g. long sightedness, astigmatism if not corrected make it harder to write neatly let alone draw.

Is he left handed? A lot of lefties (me included) have terrible writing. There are techniques to make it better though. Have a look on google

Just wanted to post in support! My son is the same age and had to start year 4 in a new school - he is left handed and has ADHD, so despite being just as bright as the rest of the class, he struggles with handwriting and really hates being under pressure to write.

He had a hard time settling and was bullied to begin with (kids saying he was crazy, weird, etc) but it seems to have settled now - great that you have been able to speak to the school, I did (without naming the main instigator) and they took it very seriously.

He is now coming back from school saying that it perhaps wasn’t so bad, and he has five friends, instead of saying that everyone hates him and he wants to leave the country, so it definitely does get better! It really does break your heart having a child that is a bit different, it’s hard - sending support.

but is it reasonable that the teacher needs to look into this and see if what DS is saying is correct and deal with those children who are being unkind

Teacher here - yes, it is very reasonable. In fact I’d want to know so that I could deal with it before it escalates.
Also, I would ask about your DS being able to use technology when he’s writing longer pieces. And ask the SENCo for an OT or Dyspraxia assessment.

@Reugny he has his eyes checked annually and it was last done a couple of months ago and he actually has better than 20/20 vision.

@Sugarfish no, he’s only right-handed. He has a grip-thingy that the teacher first gave him in y3 to slip over pencils etc

@Bambooshoot so pleased that your DS is getting on much better at school now that you’ve spoken to the school. I think a good school can make or break situations like this, and so far ours has been a great school so I hope they will nip these comments in the bud now. It makes me sad that children can be so horrid to each other when they are so young too.

@Soontobe60 thanks, we will look at a dyspraxia/OT assessment. So far the school have been great supporting DS, and for some things he has ‘scaffolding’ support in the form of an iPad, TA support etc (Apparently the iPad caused an uproar when 4 children had iPads and the rest had to write during the lesson and the teacher had to explain).
For y3 he had fantastic phonics support x4 per week that took him from a reading age of 6.1 years up to his chronological age of 8.3 yrs at the end of y3, and he no longer needs phonics support. Now it’s the writing and handwriting which are vastly behind and the other children are criticising him for.