Child exposed himself to my son

[Sittingbourn]

Ds (age 12) has been bullied for about a year by another child :( Name calling, threats, punching etc. I have complained to the school numerous times, they speak to the other child, it stops for a little then resumes. It’s not every day but has been going on over a long time. Ds has now told me the other child had started making comments referring to privates (size) and exposing himself to ds. I am horrified by this as it seems up a level. How serous is this? obviously I’ll need to speak to school (again) but what action should they take other than their (so far ineffectual) telling other child to stop.

Speak to the safeguarding lead. Also speak to the NSPCC for advice.

I would go to the police to be honest. This is incredibly serious. Not only is your DC being sexually harassed, but this is a major red flag for the other child as well who may be in a dangerous situation at home or elsewhere and in desperate need of urgent intervention.

I wouldn't mess about with school in this instance. The stakes are too high, for both children. I'd report to the police and let them involve whichever other agencies need to be informed.

I think I would call the NSPCC for advice too.

It’s definitely worth a complaint to school and then the governors if you’re not happy with the response. Tell the school that the next time your child is punched or faced with someone else’s privates, you will go to the police.

Agree with pp. Speak to school ASAP (with it in writing/an email too as evidence of your complaints) and if not look at schools safeguarding/child protection policy (website) and see what other options there are to escalate concerns. Such as school governors?

Otherwise as pp said contact nspcc for advice.

I would also go to the police, it is a crime, and the school are not a law enforcement agency.

Police op. Tonight.. And ds doesn't get to decide you won't be ringing them.

I think it's time for the police to be involved. You have already spoken to the school and the abuse is now escalating. By all means let the school know your intentions/actions as a courtesy to them, but I think more intervention is needed than 'a little chat' at this point.

Police definitely. Your poor son 😞

I agree that you should go to the police. I have a friend who had a similar issue recently and her child’s school brushed it under the carpet. I think if you go to the police the school are more likely to be compelled to do something.

i hope your ds is ok.

I’m really sorry to hear this, OP. Your poor son. Realistically the school are not going to take a drastic action as they should be. I did some mental health work for different schools and one of the children I worked with was exposed to something similar. I raised it with the school, safeguarding lead etc and they called the other child’s parent and spoke to the child. The child denied exposing himself and it was left at that. Only when the school got some extra funding and managed to secure a TA for the child, did his bullying behaviours stop. If your poor son has being bullied for the past year, I would suggest moving him to another school.

Won't the police want some proof?
Did anyone else see this?
The boy in question could just deny it.

NOT THE POLICE!

Argh. Sorry but I'm focussing the bully. We have major protocols in place for an issue like this. I can tell you, that when something like this happened at my school, just once, there were very serious consequences.

If you want something fun to do tonight (it's not fun), read KCSIE. It's the child protection guidance for schools.

Then send an email to the school detailing exactly what you've said. This is aggressive and weird sexual behaviour. It is endangering your child, but may also be an indication of something worrying for the bully.

The police will just refer it back to the school. Let the school deal with it.

I'm with other posters on calling the police. It's a crime, it doesn't matter if it was commited by a 12yo or not. Your first responsibility is to your own child.

As with any crime really.

The school are required to safeguard your child, if the school dsl is not acting you can try the Local Authority. However whatever action they take regarding the other child is confidential and there may already be safeguarding ongoing.