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Do I tell her, or not?

8 replies

zophi · 03/11/2023 14:34

I don’t want to come across as holier than thou to my friend, we are both TTC and discussing it together. It’ll be baby number 1 for both of us. She seems quite naive but I don’t want to pretend I know the realities of being a parent, because I’m not one yet and I realise I’m in for a huge shock.

She is planning on taking zero maternity leave as she has her own business and thinks she can work with the baby around from the day after its born, and they are also planning to have the baby sleep downstairs and not in their room (!!) because her DP likes his sleep undisturbed. She’s not having me on.

She constantly brings up parenting and how excited she is to be one. I’m finding it really hard to join in the conversation when it seems like her version of it is very idealised and far from reality. She has said she doesn’t know anyone with a baby whereas I do, family and friends all have little ones and I see how their life has changed and the children are rightly the centre of their world.

Is it best to just keep changing the subject? I feel so awkward!

OP posts:
IcedupTulip · 03/11/2023 14:36

Don’t say anything. She’ll figure it out as she goes along and who know, maybe she will manage to work with a newborn.

zophi · 03/11/2023 17:18

IcedupTulip · 03/11/2023 14:36

Don’t say anything. She’ll figure it out as she goes along and who know, maybe she will manage to work with a newborn.

Thanks, this is true. She’d probably wonder who I was to say anything

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 03/11/2023 17:45

Let her get on with it.She will learn.......very rapidly 😉

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Nothankyou22 · 03/11/2023 17:47

I always think not to tell others and let them find out themselves

stripybluesocks · 03/11/2023 17:48

just let her get on with it

zophi · 04/11/2023 14:56

Thanks everyone. I’m just going to let her get on with it as advised. I do worry but it’s not my worry to have and like I say I don’t pretend to know everything, just have some awareness that your whole life changes!

OP posts:
Carston · 16/01/2024 12:29

Hopefully she’ll receive advice about sleeping in the same room as the baby because that’s a safety concern.

Let her crack on with trying to run her business. What is the business? I could have run a business easily when DD was little if all it required was one handed access to a smartphone!

Nonamesleft1 · 16/01/2024 12:34

Don’t get involved. She’ll adjust.

i’ve had friends all happily set their boundaries and rules before the baby arrived.

one was going have no toys downstairs, the child would play with one thing at a time, putting it away before getting something else.

didn’t happen. Toys everywhere 😂

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