Cutting off Family Members

[SandyWaves]

Name change so not outing.

If you went no contact with family members, how did it work out for you?

I went NC with my family a couple of years ago. Initially there was some attempt to contact me (phone calls and texts). But I never responded or answered and I don't hear from them any more. I moved house and they don't know where I live now. It has worked out well. I feel more in control of my life and have been able to focus on me and my own family (DH and DCs).

I went NC with my mother about 14 years ago, just stopped phoning her up to listen to her woe is me phone calls. Then about 6 months of me not calling I got this letter from her telling me you only get one mother and even as a small child I thought I was better than her and she didn’t have the benefit of a university education. I wrote back to her telling her exactly why I had stopped phoning her, she was a narcissist who had me as the black sheep and my brother as the golden child. She had tried to sabotage that “university education” she had tried to ruin the relationship between DH and I and once she started on my own DC that’s when I called it quits. She now tells everyone that I think I’m too good for her!

I am nc with one person, I blocked their number but they still send birthday and Christmas cards, which I tear up and throw away.

My brother went NC with me as I called him out on some shitty behaviour. I know now he is a narcissist but it has destroyed our family, and our children have no relationship. It is very sad but at the end of the day he is just a twat.

I've had to at present due to atrocious behaviour. I'm not getting screamed all the time, criticised and emotionally blackmailed.

Latest thing was their savings account was drained. I was saying call the bank and you'll understand that there may not be much in your current account but your savings are intact. Then suicide threats and more screaming so I called the police.

Of course they immediately backtracked to the police and said they knew their savings were intact.

I am not a punchbag. I'll probably relent at some point but that seriously irritated me and I want some space instead of their constant hysterics.

I went NC before it was even a term with my violent alcoholic brother and my idiot adulterous father. Haven't seen or heard about my brother in over forty years, father in thirty and I don't even remember when he died. No regrets, they are/were a pair of oxygen thieves.

We went NC with my BIL after years of him bullying my wife (his sister) and generally being arse. It all blew up nearly 4 years ago when he told my wife to do the world a favour and kill herself and threatened to kill me.

I can honestly say neither of us regret going NC with him. It’s been harder with MIL “you know what he’s like, he gets mean when he drinks but he doesn’t really mean it” but we shut down all conversations about him in our house and rarely go over to hers.

It took a while for everything to settle down but life is so much less stressful and more enjoyable. As Marie Kondo said “if it doesn’t bring you joy, bin it” or words to that effect.

Yes.

My life has been simpler since.