Flatmate says I owe her £600

[Digestivesandcheese]

I was meeting my flatmate (who is also a good friend) in London recently and agreed to bring her weekend bag with me on the train (She was meeting her DM earlier in the day for a trip to the Theatre) I had a rucksack containing my things for the weekend.
I got off the train in London and realised I had stupidly left her bag on the train. I got back on the train but the bag was gone! It hasn't turned up in lost property. I have chased up several times.
My friend says I owe her £600 for the bag and contents. I agree it was my fault but can I claim compensation from the rail company as the bag hasn't turned up? If not, I will have to borrow money to pay my friend for her things

How long ago did this happen? My daughter left her bag on the train and it was handed in but didn't end up in lost property until about 5 weeks later - everything was in there, nothing was missing. No idea why it took so long to appear but there you go.

It may be that someone saw it left on the train as they were the last to get off and handed it in - sometimes there isn't the communication there. My daughter called every station in the line asking about her bag with no luck yet it HAD been handed in.

No. The friend could have taken her own bag. You were doing her a favour. Accidents happen. The friend should learn from this to take responsibility for her own luggage.

Really sorry you're going to pay up. She's a double-cheeky-fucker - once for wanting you to be her porter and secondly for demanding you pay for her loss.

Absolutely no way should you pay. There's always a risk things will be lost or get stolen in transit. You were doing her a favour by carrying her bag but the responsibility for the risk remains with her. If she was being reasonable then perhaps you'd want to offer a contribution but in the circumstances you should tell her to shove it.

I'm not understanding the people saying that the friend is "really wealthy" or that £600 is outrageous for a weekend bag total cost... Below is a list of what I would pack for a weekend away at a minimum and these costs are all very low – most would probably cost much more (if the friend has high end tastes dress could easily be £100+). I'm guessing the friend has probably already been quite conservative with what the actual cost is of the missing items...

• dress – £30
• top – £20
• Levi's jeans – £160
• sweater – £50
• Sneakers – £145
• Dressy shoes – £80
• Underwear x 3 – £10
• Stockings / socks – £10
• Small amount of make-up & skincare (foundation, powder, mascara, lipstick, face wash, moisturiser, make-up bag) – at least £60
• Perfume – £80
• going out handbag – £30
• Weekend bag – £50

Total: £675

And that's without chargers, airpods etc that may have been in there.

I agree double-CF. I read somewhere that every female friendship someone takes the role of queen, and the other takes on the role of lady in waiting. She definitely thinks she's queen.

I think gracious path would have been you insist you pay, she refuses, you propose to pay half each, she graciously accepts.

I think this is such an appalling attitude to have. IMO if this is how you behave if YOU lost something belonging to someone else then you should decline to take it in the first place.

My brother left his bag on the train. It wasn't handed in anywhere as lost property so he assumed stolen.
He got a phonecall 3 weeks later to say it was in lost property.
When he picked it up it had been opened and gone through but his laptop and designer clothes were still inside.
Only thing missing was a bag full of sticky seaside rock.
It may yet turn up.

No. The friend could have taken her own bag. You were doing her a favour. Accidents happen. The friend should learn from this to take responsibility for her own luggage

I think that when someone agrees to bring your bag on the train with them you assume that they are not going to leave it on there.

It doesn't absolve her of responsibility, of course. But if someone asked me to look after a bag of stuff and told me it was worth £600, I would be aware of that and would keep a very close eye.

I'd be careful with friends' things anyway, of course, but if someone explicitly tells you that something is worth a lot of money, then you have that at the forefront of your mind.

I do think the friend should have pointed out that it's a designer bag/ worth a lot of money etc.

I take it you don't have any female friends then? What an absolutely horrible thing to say.

If she had carried her own bag, she's the one who would have borne the risk of covering any possible loss. Which is how it should have been, since it's her bag. She offloaded the work, risk, and cost on to you, with no upside for you. A contract where only one person has any possibility of benefit, and the other person only bears a cost, is unenforceable. You could pay it to save the friendship but personally I wouldn't ever do any favors for this woman ever again. I couldn't afford it!!!!

When he picked it up it had been opened and gone through but his laptop and designer clothes were still inside.
Only thing missing was a bag full of sticky seaside rock.

😂

The moral of this story is don't do your flatmate a favour at your own risk.

She didn't want to cart her expensive bag across London herself.

Next time she can hire a courier.

You were doing a good dead and she's punishing you for you trying to do her a favour.

I'd cut her dead and consider trying to get another flatmate/moving out.

But it wasn't a £600 bag, it was a bag + items that added up to about £600? Which for a weekend away is barely anything.

I'm wearing Hush harem pants and an Oliver Bonas jumper, together they cost £100. My bra was £45. Even a bog-standard pair of shoes are not going to give much change from £50 - combine that with some toiletries, maybe a hair straightener, some make up and clothes for the other two days I don't think it's realistic to say OP's flatmate should have warned her it was 'worth a lot of money'.

This is what's called a 'favour' and friends often do nice things like this. It doesn't mean because it was a favour the person who then bears the brunt of the loss should just have to suck it up.

This!

So many are saying that the friend should go halves with OP... I'm guessing if she has high end tastes she probably already has..

You are very nice. I would think many times before agreeing to a similar favour again, next time she asks you something like this tell her you can't afford it.

When I send items by post I can pay extra for insurance because inevitably stuff like this happens. Things go missing. I am sure airlines include an extra cost to cover them paying out for lost luggage.

The difference here is she didn't pay you to carry her bag around.

I do think you should offer to pay something, but if she is well off it seems very mean spirited of her to demand all this money. Half half seems fair to me.

Honestly, that’s not expensive for a weekend away. I’m currently away from home.

My packed bag:

1. Bag - £300
2. iPad - £500
3. Power bank - £50
4. Evening shoes - £75
5. Evening clothes- £100
6. Cosmetics - £200
7. Toiletries - £30
8. Nightclothes / slippers - £70

So over £1300 (and I’m pretty sure I’m massively underestimating the costs of the evening shoes / clothes).

I’m going to carry my normal handbag or the cost would be even higher to include an evening bag.

Seriously I wonder how some of you have any friends at all. You all seem so damn mercenary. It was a mistake so therefore I shouldn't be expected to do anything to rectify that. Just another MN thread that completely baffles me how people can get on in life having normal relationships when their navigation of situations like this is to call the person who did nothing wrong a cheeky fucker, who OP should cut dead and move out on.

Reminds me of the thread where the child set his mother's dressing gown on fire and people were adamant the child didn't need to apologise because it was an accident, like it's not a normal part of polite interaction to apologise for causing damage to another person's property even if it was an accident.

I would not leave a £500 ipad in a bag that is going to left on a luggage rack on a train.

I have home insurance that covers loss of my possessions away from home, but I’m pretty sure if someone else lost my stuff (in my absence) then I wouldn’t be covered. It’s nothing to do with how well off or otherwise I might be.

If I’d asked a friend this sort of favour I wouldn’t then ask for money to compensate for loss. It was an accident / theft. It’s not like you deliberately threw it in the sea.
However your ‘friend’ has so I would pay.
I wouldn’t be doing any more favours for them again though.

And I think everyone is completely dismissing the fact that OP's flatmate now has none of her clothing and toiletries for a weekend away, so is likely quite upset about that. I'm sure when they're home they can work something out regards to price. When my case was lost by an airline, I felt really odd having none of 'my' stuff while I was away and having to buy cheap replacement stuff with the money I'd earmarked for food and drink. It wasn't fun. At least the airline covered the cost...but not for a few weeks.

well the bag was clearly stolen. I don’t think it’s your fault. She should have taken her own bag.

$600 doesn't sound that far off to me. My trainers would be close to $300.