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Original poster

Flatmate says I owe her £600

641 replies

Digestivesandcheese · 02/11/2023 15:11

I was meeting my flatmate (who is also a good friend) in London recently and agreed to bring her weekend bag with me on the train (She was meeting her DM earlier in the day for a trip to the Theatre) I had a rucksack containing my things for the weekend.
I got off the train in London and realised I had stupidly left her bag on the train. I got back on the train but the bag was gone! It hasn't turned up in lost property. I have chased up several times.
My friend says I owe her £600 for the bag and contents. I agree it was my fault but can I claim compensation from the rail company as the bag hasn't turned up? If not, I will have to borrow money to pay my friend for her things

OP posts:
Mudandpuddle · 02/11/2023 16:32

I think if my friend insisted I paid the £600 it would be the end of the friendship for me. You don't treat a friend doing you a favour as you would treat a paid courier. You were being kind and made a simple mistake.

WilderRose · 02/11/2023 16:33

As others say...no good turn goes unpunished. I think carrying someone's luggage a big ask anyway, especially on public transport.
I would be reconsidering my friendship over the 600 pound demand.

chocolatemousse3 · 02/11/2023 16:33

She is not your friend.

Est1990 · 02/11/2023 16:33

The people who are saying you should replace old for new are the same that come to Mumsnet complaining they went out with a friend for dinner and were made to share the bill but the other friend ate 20 more grains of rice and 3 chips more than you so they should have paid more!🤣

Im really annoyed at these people's replies (and it's not even my thread). How materialistic and futile!
How can you charge a friend so much money for an accident when she was doing you a favour!
Plus to replace toiletries,clothes and make up! Not exactly to replace a vital health equipment or equipment she needs to do her job!

rantinglunatic · 02/11/2023 16:33

You were doing her a favour. An accident happened. It is totally ridiculous for her to ask you to pay £600. I would not pay a penny and would end the friendship immediately. That is the most shitty request I have ever heard.

helpfulperson · 02/11/2023 16:33

And this is why you never do favours for anyone!

It's fairly likely it was stolen before your stop. If it had been there when you got your luggage you likely would have seen it and therefore remembered it.

Girlswillbetwirls · 02/11/2023 16:34

Expensive bag containing clothes, shoes, toiletries and make up for a weekend in London. Her things are more upmarket than mine.
I wish it had been my bag I left behind. To replace my stuff would be around £200

Sounds as if OP was well aware the bag and its contents were likely to cost a fair bit.

ClaudiaWankleman · 02/11/2023 16:34

I don't think you necessarily owe her all that £600. Not all of the makeup etc. was going to be full, and just the fact that she has to buy more of it right now doesn't mean you have to replace it all as brand new.

wishingiwas20something · 02/11/2023 16:34

I’d expect to go halves on this, maximum, you aren’t FedEx so this isn’t a professional error. If your friend has expensive insurance to adequately covers
loss of her expensive possessions, I’d expect her to claim on that and you pay the entire excess. I’d also refuse to do anymore bag handling for them. EVER!

rantinglunatic · 02/11/2023 16:36

Good friends do not behave like this. End friendship. Change living situation

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/11/2023 16:36

Frankly, if my friend claimed to have left my bag on the train and then started telling me that they shouldn’t have to pay to replace my things or that I was half responsible for their carelessness, not only would they no longer be a friend but I’d suspect they’d simply nicked my stuff and be reporting them to the police.

slore · 02/11/2023 16:37

I can't believe the entitlement on this thread. Carrying someone's bag on a train is not a massive favour! And she shouldn't have agreed to do it if she couldn't be bothered to look after it.

OP being in debt is not remotely the flatmate's problem. No one is considering her loss here and how none of this is her fault.

IActuallyDidItMyself · 02/11/2023 16:37

Ilovelurchers · 02/11/2023 16:06

It's been stolen. I don't think your friend is in a position to demand £600 from you for a stolen bag. If I was the friend I would not dream of demanding this. I might hope you would buy me a replacement bag or a voucher towards replacing some stuff maybe, as a gesture.

If she was a good friend I would offer her some money towards replacing the stuff, or maybe buy a replacement just for the bag itself. I wouldn't offer her £600 and get into debt over it. That's unreasonable in my opinion and unkind of her to put you in that position, if you are her friend.

So the friend should end up having to pay £600 to replace the items even though she didn't lose them? Isn't that the OP putting the friend in an unreasonable and unkind position? If the friend can't afford to replace her items, why should she just go without because OP lost them? It's a shitty lesson, but OP definitely owes the friend to replace the items.

£600 isn't even that much to cover the contents of a weekend bag if it includes perfume, a high-end bag, two pairs of shoes, clothes, jewellery, hair straightener etc. – I buy most of my stuff second hand and even then it would still add up to £600 worth of stuff in a weekend bag!

ohdamnitjanet · 02/11/2023 16:39

EbesneezerCold · 02/11/2023 15:26

Also get a crime reference number from the police, given the speed it vanished at you'll need to claim it as stolen not lost.

This, definitely get a crime number then hopefully one of you has contents insurance that will cover it. Perhaps the police can access the cctv. I feel real empathy for you @Digestivesandcheese , you were doing her a favour after all and it’s a lot of money to find. If I were you your flat mate of course I’d be upset at the loss, but wouldn’t expect you to replace everything, maybe half as a compromise. I’d hate a friend to go into debt for me whatever the circumstances.

rantinglunatic · 02/11/2023 16:39

Very weird comments from people saying you are responsible. You were doing her a favour. If she wants to ensure her £600 value bag gets there in one piece then she needs to do it herself. It's way too much responsibility to put on a friend anyway. Honestly just ditch her. Friends come and go and this one is not a keeper.

AceOfCups · 02/11/2023 16:39

I think it's silly that she's expecting you to pay her the full retail value of the goods.

It was an accident and you were doing her a favour, ffs.

rocknrollaa · 02/11/2023 16:39

slore · 02/11/2023 16:25

Actually the flatmate shouldn't be down £600 for OP's careless mistake! And it is certainly no small mistake.

Why should the flatmate have to cough up for this? She shouldn't have to spell out what something is worth for it to not be thoughtlessly left on the train.

Show quote history

She doesn't have to cough up.

Also, OP doesn't have to. Legally, no one has to do anything. This is an entirely moral dilemma.

My stance is that as a friend, my personal choice would be to compromise on a cost like this, whichever side of it I was on.

Original poster
Digestivesandcheese · 02/11/2023 16:40

All her things are new or nearly new. Much better quality and condition than my own.
We will still be friends. I will borrow the money from my DM. I feel so bad for losing my friends things. I have promised to replace everything and I will. My DM would give me the money but we agree as it was my own silly mistake I should pay my Mum back using a standing order and forget about it.
I was hoping someone would say yes you can claim from the railway. Thank you all for your replies

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 02/11/2023 16:40

I really don't think that she is much of a friend. She is obviously very wealthy so she does not need the money.

You were doing here a favour and made an honest mistake.

I think you are being too nice.

daisychain01 · 02/11/2023 16:40

I wouldn't have taken responsibility for her bag with expensive belongings in, not without agreeing that if anything happened to the bag (not unknown for a bag to be snatched on the Underground), that you wouldn't be responsible for it. It's not fair, but you agreed to it. I just wouldn't have under those circumstances.

Fummymummy · 02/11/2023 16:41

Why didn't she take her weekend bag with her in the first place?
You were doing her a favour.
Yes, you left it, but it was an accident and clearly stolen if you only went back 2-3 minutes later.
If you were my friend and you'd lost my £600 bag doing me a favour, I'd probably just ask you for half, or for a contribution towards replacing it depending what you can afford - it's a bloody lot of money! Yes I'd be pissed off but equally it wouldn't have got lost if you hadn't been helping her out in the first place. I think it's just really horrendously bad luck, careless on your part, but I think it's right to offer to replace things within reason don't think your friend should be putting all of it on you and perhaps should go easy on you given the situation. If she's your friend she'll understand if you can't afford it.

AceOfCups · 02/11/2023 16:41

Frankly, if she cared that much about her things, then she should have got travel insurance which can be bought for domestic trips too, to cover these types of scenarios.

daisychain01 · 02/11/2023 16:42

Actually the flatmate shouldn't be down £600 for OP's careless mistake! And it is certainly no small mistake.

Never let a good deed go unpunished, as they say.

Mudandpuddle · 02/11/2023 16:42

You sound lovely OP. I would find it hard to have a friendship that counts the cost of everything to the penny like this. Sounds exhausting.

burnoutbabe · 02/11/2023 16:42

AceOfCups · 02/11/2023 16:41

Frankly, if she cared that much about her things, then she should have got travel insurance which can be bought for domestic trips too, to cover these types of scenarios.

travel insurance or "goods away from home" cover on your house hold insurance.