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What to do about Christmas

6 replies

Outofideas79 · 02/11/2023 15:01

Usually we spend Christmas together as a family. For a number of reasons, other members of my family have bowed out this year and are doing their own thing. I was planning to spend with my sister and her family. Otherwise I'd be on my own as dc is with my ex.

My sister has used this opportunity to invite her Dad (not mine, we have different Dads) I've actively encouraged this, as it's likely to be a one off, and we'll spend Christmas all together with Mum etc next year. However I'm becoming worried about my being there. Firstly as my Mum doesn't speak to my sister's dad at all, so if she finds out I'm with him she's likely to hit the roof. And secondly, I'll feel like I'm gate crashing on their family Christmas...

However the sad alternative is I'll spend the day alone. What on earth do I do? I don't want to spend Christmas alone, or upset my sister by not showing her support and bailing. But also I don't want to cause issues in my family, which I worry my presence might do. I've actually never met her Dad and worry it will be awkward to say the very least.

OP posts:
Ibravedaflood · 02/11/2023 15:03

When dm didn't see us at Christmas she volunteered to work at a soup kitchen...

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 02/11/2023 15:04

You could volunteer at a nursing home for the day or something?

Might give you the warm fuzzies we associate with Christmas.

But your sister clearly wants you there if she invited you.

TentChristmas · 02/11/2023 15:06

Go to your sisters! Tell your mum that otherwise you’d be on your own. I’ve been to Christmas where I’ve not known people before but they mean a lot to the people hosting clearly. Don’t spend it on your own and martyr yourself.

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Fizzadora · 02/11/2023 15:09

If your Mum has not invited you to spend Christmas with her then she has no right at all to make a fuss about where you might be.

NotFastButFurious · 02/11/2023 15:12

Fizzadora · 02/11/2023 15:09

If your Mum has not invited you to spend Christmas with her then she has no right at all to make a fuss about where you might be.

This!!
Either go to your sisters, spend it alone (you could have a very self-indulgent day!), or do you have a good friend who would otherwise be on their own? One on my best Xmas days was the lockdown one in 2020 when we could only mix one household for the day so I ended up spending it with a friend and we had a great day doing our own thing without having to please everyone in the family!

Diamond345 · 02/11/2023 15:13

Go to your sisters and have a lovely day! Your mum has no right to control who you see & why should you be alone on xmas day!

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