Who should drive

[cherrypied]

DH and I go out with another couple every birthday so four times a year. We all drive and all have a car.

Dh thinks if it's mine or his birthday we should drive. I think if it mine or his birthday they should drive.

They are very close friends of DH.

I assume birthday boy/girl is driven so that they can drink and be picked up like a VIP.

The birthday recipient should not drive. However, if you're doing it four times a year every year, surely this is already ironed out by now?

Or get a taxi?

Birthday person shouldn't drive! But why are you booking places you need to drive?

Talk to them and agree a format.

If it was me I'd suggest one of the couple whose birthday it is not.

Perhaps arrange it so each of you is allocated one birthday to be the driver every year.

If it's your birthday and you have to drive and not be able to have a few sherbets, what's the point of going out? If it's your birthday, the rule is that others drive, not you!

Birthday person shouldn't drive, unless they want to. The same scenario is if we go to dh family gathering/ party I drive and then vice versa.

Do you all drink alcohol?

If so, I'd share a taxi.

Strange as it may seem not everybody lives within walking distance of a restaurant.

I agree with the half of the couple who's birthday it's not. You can't expect the other couple not to drink if you're inviting them out (unless they don't want to) and the birthday boy/girl certainly shouldn't be driving!

Share a taxi x

If you all drink alcohol - share a cab
If one of you doesn't, that person drives
If you do drink alcohol but can't for some reason (can't think of one) get a cab, someone other than the birthday person drives

But more info is needed to opine fully.

If you all want to drink then share a taxi, if that’s an option (I live somewhere where it wouldn’t be).

Otherwise one of the 4 drives on a rotation (alphabetical) with a swap around if it’s someone’s birthday. Birthday person is the one who definitely doesn’t drive, even if the other half of the couple might have to.

Bus, if possible.
Otherwise taxi.

@AppleDumplingWithCustard I understand that but there are taxis and public transport that mean personally drive is not needed.

I would say the partner of the birthday person should drive. The couple with the birthday person are kind of the hosts in my mind and as the birthday person should be able to let their hair down, it falls to their partner to drive.

I'm going out in a couple of weeks.

Public transport to the destination, which is my local town, would necessitate a 30minute walk along a country lane and then a footpath through a field followed by a 1hr10 bus journey, the last bus home is 8.20pm. A taxi 1 way is £65 before midnight and £80 after and that's with only one stop e.g restaurant to my home, more if I were also dropping off a friend. Taxi must be booked in advance, or one will not be available.

So yeah, taxi and public transport, whilst technically available, are not a replacement for driving.

I think this what DH was suggesting, you have put it more eloquently!
For clarity:

We live semi rurally and there is one pub in village that is rubbish.

There are no taxis in the village so it's expensive to call one from the town (in fact them often won't come)

I just checked the bus and it's three hours each way. And doesn't leave till 6.51am

It's a 35 minute drive- we normally go to places closer but still 15 -20 mins minimum. Usually another village pub.

No trains.

Taxi would be £100s.

We all drink alcohol and no one will drive after any alcohol. Some like alcohol more than other (me)

I don't organise or contact theses friend DH does - I'd be much more direct!

This has given me much food for thought! I shall observe what happens!. And be more accepting of taking my turn. I just feel like I drive all the time! Which is not true!

Whoever’s birthday it is drives next time. Or couples take it in turns and agree between them who is driving. I always drive when it’s DH and I because I don’t drink and I get really anxious when others are driving me.