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Please help me find a fantastic peom for my gran's funeral

18 replies

Poem4funeralhelp · 01/11/2023 11:26

Hello, i'm doing a reading for my grandmothers funeral. She lived to 101! Much loved, amazing warm person. Was a land girl in WW2. I need to decide by the end of the day for the order of service.

Any ideas? Nothing too heavy, some humour even, maybe... i don't know.

Long time poster, but named changed as this is very outing to anyone who knows me !

Thanks so much, please help...

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 01/11/2023 11:33

My aunty who had awful feet, had 'The shoe shop of my dreams'
Can't remember who it was by, but when I looked up the author. Her other poems were quite good.

Poem4funeralhelp · 01/11/2023 12:01

@Toddlerteaplease Thank you, i will check them out now. Much appreciated :)

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 01/11/2023 12:03

Pam Ayres. That was it.

Hopelesslydevotedtoshrews · 01/11/2023 12:15

I mean Jenny Joseph's Warning (when I am old I shall wear purple), is a fun one in the circumstances https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/warning/

Equally I love Derek Mahon's Everything is going to be Alright: https://www.poetrybooks.co.uk/blogs/news/poem-a-day-everything-is-going-to-be-all-right

I'm sorry for your loss, I hope looking for something that makes you think of your Gran is a comforting process.

Warning by Jenny Joseph - Scottish Poetry Library

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple / With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. / And...

https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/warning

Poem4funeralhelp · 01/11/2023 12:21

Gosh thank you for the kind words @WriterDeb and @Hopelesslydevotedtoshrews Very grateful.

OP posts:
savethisusernametoday · 01/11/2023 12:29

OP, is there a song your gran liked or a song that would sum her up? I've heard song lyrics read out at funerals and weddings before. Flowers

Poem4funeralhelp · 01/11/2023 12:31

@savethisusernametoday I'm not sure, i'll have a think. Thank you

OP posts:
Fifthtimelucky · 01/11/2023 12:31

How about these. The first is my favourite.

If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves that I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is Hell
But life goes on
So sing as well.
(Joyce Grenfell)
When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.
(Christina Rosetti)

Do not stand at my grave and weep 
I am not there. I do not sleep. 
I am a thousand winds that blow. 
I am the diamond glints on snow. 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 
I am the gentle autumn rain. 
When you awaken in the morning's hush 
I am the swift uplifting rush 
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand at my grave and cry; 
I am not there. I did not die.
(Mary Elizabeth Frye)

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

(Henry Scott-Holland).

Ssme92 · 01/11/2023 12:33

If you want to DM whatever information about her you would like included, I will compose one.

Fallstar · 01/11/2023 12:33

So sorry for your loss. I used this one for my mum's funeral. Any good?

If I Should Go
If I should go before the rest of you,
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone.
Nor, when I'm gone, speak in a Sunday voice,
But be the usual selves that I have known.
Weep if you must,
Parting is hell.
But life goes on,
So sing as well.
Joyce Grenfell

Fallstar · 01/11/2023 12:34

Oops - just seen this one posted upthread!

HohiyiKozbevi · 01/11/2023 12:35

I love this one but as it speaks of a grieving mother and father at the funeral it may not be appropriate for a 101 year old! However there are links at the bottom to other good resources

https://agoodgoodbye.com/readings/why-you-want-a-physicist-to-speak-at-your-funeral/

BrontëParsonage · 01/11/2023 12:43

https://i0.wp.com/www.womenslandarmy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/IMG_8284.jpg

@Poem4funeralhelp how about the above poem, titled Land Girls Out to Grass by Hilda Kaye Gibbons?

https://i0.wp.com/www.womenslandarmy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/IMG_8284.jpg

Poem4funeralhelp · 01/11/2023 12:44

Thanks everyone so much

OP posts:
Jewelspun · 01/11/2023 12:46

A wife, a mother, a grandma too,
This is the legacy we have from you
You taught us love and how to fight
You gave us strength, you gave us might.
A stronger person would be hard to find,
And in your heart you were always kind.
You fought for us all in one way or another
Not just as a wife not just as a mother.
For all of us you gave your best
And now the time has come for you to rest.
So go in peace, you’ve earned your sleep,
Your love in our hearts we’ll eternally keep.

Jewelspun · 01/11/2023 12:46

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow, because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she’s gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on

Toddlerteaplease · 01/11/2023 18:08

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

Thats lovely.

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