Do you have any trusting, uncomplicated and loving relationships?

[Londongoer]

By trusting, uncomplicated and loving I mean someone - family member, friend, or partner, who you believe will always have your best interests at heart, not just their own. Someone where there isn't much or any resentment in the relationship. Someone who doesn't have ulterior motives or try to put you down due to their own insecurities. Someone who really, truly loves you and vice versa.

I was thinking about this last night - the only person in my life who I truly love and who loves me in an uncomplicated way is my DH. We met when I was in my late 30s and have been together 15 years. Before that I feel like I was pretty much alone. If he passes before I do I'll be alone again.

But maybe alone is normal? We're all born alone and we die alone. Sorry, cheery thought I know.

My parents were abusive - my mum was an alcoholic and my father a narcissist who left us. I also have a sister but she's very selfish and we don't get along. My parents and I actually have pretty good relationships now. My mum is sober and actually our relationship is pretty close to what I've described. But she can be very selfish. My father and I are reasonably close now but I don't really trust him and he's very competitive with me.

I have friends but none that are really that close. I had a best friend but she died, and anyway our close relationship didn't last past the teenage years. I don't have children. Maybe that's the difference from most people, but I know parent/child relationships can be very complicated.

How about you?

All my relationships are like this, family, friends, DH, Ds(4). I'm a pretty uncomplicated person though!

My mam, and my dad when he was alive, and all my siblings. Also my kids. Definitely not dh.

My DH and my mum. I feel incredibly lucky to have them both.

This is so astute

I think a happy childhood and good role modelling of relationships has a lot to do with how comfortable you are forming new relationships and how well you negotiate conflict within them. I've met some amazingly warm, kind, funny and intelligent people who struggle with relationships as a result of what they were put through by their families. I know how lucky I am that I wasn't. The really sad thing is that plenty of people who are worthy of good relationships and who would make a brilliant friend/partner to someone just don't have that opportunity or can't take it for a variety of complicated reasons quite often self-imposed. And that's before we factor in all the less lovely people who are manipulative or malicious who are on the lookout to form relationships with people they can exploit.

I am loving this thread. It is really hopeful ❤️❤️

My husband. He’s the kindest, most ambitious and hard working person I’ve ever known. I’m so lucky to have him and really honoured to be his wife. Everything he does in life, he does it for us. He’s selfless and caring, been with me through absolute worst, through high and lows and always got my back. Even my mum doesn’t love me in unconditional way that my husband does.

My dad. Only in recent years, I've discovered my relationship with him after being finally dismissed and largely ignored now by narc mother because I finally started standing up for myself.

Unfortunately I am recently separated from ExH, I wish so much that things were different.

I worry so much about my DS not having positive relationships. I try my damn hardest to nurture the most positive relationship with him that I didn't have growing up.

Mum, sister and DH. 💕 I’m very fortunate.

My niece too, she’s an absolutely beautiful person.

My DH and three of my best friends, my brother. My DD is still young but I hope we will continue to have a relationship like this as she grows.

Certainly DH. He is just very kind, straightforward and always thinks the best of people.
My parents, which I took completely for granted for about the first 40 years (then suddenly they were old!)
My children (much as they say I annoy them and I complain about their disorganisation.)
My best friends from childhood, who are now my closest (but sadly not geographically closest) friends.
One more local friend I made through my children.

Although obviously all paid into insignificance when compared with the unflinching love and loyalty offered by my Labradors ❤️

This thread has made me fancy ringing my mum for a chat. I wonder what she bought from Dunelm/ate at the garden centre cafe today?!

Yes, my wonderful, wonderful DP and my parents and brother. I am so lucky.

My mum, dad, my DH, my sister, my in laws and one of my aunts. All of them love me and have my best interests at heart.

However, I have a complicated relationship with my mum, so altho I trust her, I can't rely on her for emotional support.

My dog

My gorgeous DH and my dog . My DH is my best friend and I his. never met anyone like him . Don't trust anyone else. met him when I was 18 and he was 21 been together 35 years and do everything together and always will.

My Dad, brother and sister.

My Dad is my world. I would trust him with anything. I could tell him anything. He would take a bullet for me.

He's never let me down. We have a once in a lifetime father daughter relationship, and I'm so so lucky.

My mom and my daughter, and my three closest female friends. Interests me that my uncomplicated relationships are all with other women.

I love my husband but we've been through a lot and it's not without complications. Ditto my dad.

Oh, I forgot one. My adult stepson. That's an uncomplicated, loving relationship and I trust him. Opposite was true for his dad! Hence we are no longer together.

So my theory I could only have these relationships with other women is clearly wrong!

I have nine female friends who I’d count in that category. The relationship is easy, loving, we truly champion each other and I’m always delighted at their good news. A few friends I admit to feeling envy or resentment, which says to me they’re not close friends. I’ve drifted from some friends due to time and geography, but when we were close they were also of the easy, uncomplicated variety.

I’m also very lucky to have family like that – parents, siblings, husband and children. And actually even my in laws. We’ve had an awful time recently and everyone has been amazing. We’re incredibly fortunate.

Most of my relationships are pretty straightforward! I have nice friends and my DH is a decent sort and I have a lovely teen DD.
The only person I don't really get on with unfortunately is my Dad.

Yes, husband, son, mother, brother, father in law, friends.

but my husband: the most

I've got several great friendships. But romantically, no. Sadly not!

Bar some occasional tiny niggles, all of my relationships are fine - OH, siblings, mother, friends, colleagues etc.

I sometimes read posts on MN and think I've either hit the jackpot or live in alternative universe.

My siblings.

Totally with my parents.... mostly with DH, it's certainly trusting and loving between us if not always uncomplicated!

My daughter.