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Original poster

Irish Mumsnetters - is he being rude or no?

27 replies

Whutbay · 31/10/2023 22:35

Colleague at work - Irish.

Refers to me constantly as “Mary” - usually when he’s talking about me to someone else ie “Mary over there” or “that Mary”

He came over to me today and did his usual “now listen here Mary”

Clearly my name isn’t Mary - he knows what my name is.

The only thing I can compare it with is when men call women Doris ie that Doris over there, some Doris called me etc etc

Is it rude or just a figure of speech

OP posts:
NigelHarmansNewWife · 31/10/2023 22:37

Rude. I'm not Irish, but have Irish family and none of them would speak like that.

LizardOfOz · 31/10/2023 22:38

It's rude.

Also, Mary can be used in the sense of C*nt.

I know Australians are portrayed to use "Sheila" to mean woman but Mary is not used that way in Ireland

ceepeeree · 31/10/2023 22:39

I'm Irish. Never heard that being used. Sounds rude to me (and misogynistic)

DramaAlpaca · 31/10/2023 22:40

Yes, rude. I've lived in Ireland for many years and have never heard anyone doing what you describe.

WomBat55 · 31/10/2023 22:41

I’m Irish, living in Ireland.

Its rude and ignorant. Definitely not a a thing. What an ass.

I’d pull him up on it and then refuse to answer to the name Mary

CanIPetThatDawg · 31/10/2023 22:42

Well your name isn't Mary so clearly he's being rude!

It's not an Irish thing it's a dickhead thing.

Tell him to zip it.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/10/2023 22:43

100% rude and 100% misogynistic.

Don't stand for this bullshit.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 31/10/2023 22:44

It's rude. This is not normal behaviour in Ireland or anywhere else.
It's certainly not a term of endearment, it smacks of someone too obnoxious to be bothered to remember your name and by giving you a new name showing you he can't be arsed to remember because you are so unimportant.

Racking my brains but there was a film where the woman called every new housekeeper by the same name.

Beachdays44 · 31/10/2023 22:47

Rude. Disrespectful.

Maybe start calling him the wrong name too..."I'm listening Sean', etc..

My mother in law is always calling me her other daughter in law's name - it used to really irritate me but now I just respond by calling her her sister's name and we'll laugh about the silliness of it.

18Piccolinos · 31/10/2023 22:50

LizardOfOz · 31/10/2023 22:38

It's rude.

Also, Mary can be used in the sense of C*nt.

I know Australians are portrayed to use "Sheila" to mean woman but Mary is not used that way in Ireland

Yeah, this one.

He’s smirking at you calling you a cunt to your face.

runningonberocca · 31/10/2023 22:51

I’m Irish. It’s rude and he’s being a dick

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 31/10/2023 22:55

Am Irish and never heard this either.

What's the Doris reference?

Dogsitterwoes · 31/10/2023 22:58

Start calling him Dick 😁

Mudflaps · 31/10/2023 23:05

I'm Irish living in Ireland and I've never come across this, never heard it used as a reference to c*nt either, I hate when Paddy is used when addressing an Irish man but maybe it's something to try in this case. That or ask HR if they could do a 'welfare check' on him as despite being repeatedly told your name he is unable to remember it and its becoming quite worrying, or be honest with HR and tell them he's being an absolute prick.

therealcookiemonster · 31/10/2023 23:22

I would just start calling him a random name... maybe nigel? until he realises what a dick he is

Elchupacabra · 31/10/2023 23:35

That's just plain rude - just call him Richard. We all know what the diminutive form of that is.....

LizardOfOz · 31/10/2023 23:38

Mudflaps · 31/10/2023 23:05

I'm Irish living in Ireland and I've never come across this, never heard it used as a reference to c*nt either, I hate when Paddy is used when addressing an Irish man but maybe it's something to try in this case. That or ask HR if they could do a 'welfare check' on him as despite being repeatedly told your name he is unable to remember it and its becoming quite worrying, or be honest with HR and tell them he's being an absolute prick.

Some older ladies and members of the travelling community (among others) would call their "bits" their "Mary"

Customers in a restaurant being awkward might be referred to as a couple of Marys

hotcandle · 31/10/2023 23:38

Next time he says it, tell him that you aren't finding it funny and to stop. Be serious. Don't let him laugh it off. Give him 1 chance to stop.

Then go to HR if he persists. A word about how you feel he's mocking you should sort it out.

Got2getout · 31/10/2023 23:42

Never heard of Mary used like that, or Dorris for that matter.

He’s being rude, call him out in front of everyone.

SeamsLegit · 31/10/2023 23:44

This made me laugh, my Dad calls my daughter Mary, more than her actual name. She's 6. We definitely use it in place of 'that woman over there', totally harmless, so surprised at all the other perspectives here. Sometimes we would say 'Marydoll'

Louise303 · 01/11/2023 00:06

I have an irish hubby and dad and I have never heard the expression.

LadyEloise1 · 01/11/2023 00:24

ceepeeree · 31/10/2023 22:39

I'm Irish. Never heard that being used. Sounds rude to me (and misogynistic)

I agree..

Original poster
Whutbay · 01/11/2023 06:53

It’s the swinging open of the door and the “right Mary” that gets me

not even a hello - ok he’s clearly being a twat, I’m not even going to acknowledge his presence until he uses my actual name

OP posts:
Wrinkleflint · 01/11/2023 08:19

I'm Irish. He's just being rude. I've never heard of Mary used like this, or to mean anything other than someone's name.

Thewhothewhatnow · 01/11/2023 08:25

I'm Irish and that's definitely very rude. I immediately thought of the c**t reference too. I'm very sorry that he's treating you like that. What a dickhead.