Nervous about dating new guy because of stretch marks

[Celia24]

During lockdown I went from a size 12-14 to a 14-16, resulting in purple stretch marks all over my lower stomach. Now they are a lot better but still have about 4 or 5 obvious purple stripes.

In clothes I still have a nice enough hourglass figure but I worry about reactions when the clothes come off! I ripped the band off last year with a fling who said 'Hello tiger' but it still made me self conscious that he mentioned it!

So this guy I've actually known for a year as an acquaintance - didn't know if he was single but liked him. We both matched on Tinder & looking for the same things. He asked me out straight away and I'm keen! But I worry about if we do reach the bedroom and if he'll feel disappointed.

Tbh a big part of the reason I've struggled with weight in the last year is due to endometriosis which he actually knows about already. I don't know if I'm stressing too much. I just worry it will be a turn off. Advice for getting a grip before I swear off sex and love forever?

It was very rude of the other guy to mention it. I had an ex who always pointed out my flaws and looking back he was a total jackass. If he says something he's a jerk, don't see him again.

Usually men don't notice little things like that. They look at the whole picture, while women zero in on details.

Most humans have stretch marks, even men, usually starting in teenage years due to growth. Most women have them for sure! It's not a turnoff. Next time you look in the mirror try to look at yourself as a whole and not pick little things out to criticize. I think you'll notice how attractive you are and your new guy will see the same. If not he's not worthy. ☺️

If a man EVER says "Hello tiger" to you again, get up and walk straight out the door or kick him to the kerb. Never tolerate that shit.

A decent man who genuinely cares about you won't even think twice about stretch marks. I promise.

@junbean @Aquamarine1029 I reckon in the moment he thought he was being nice but all it did was stress me out. I had a 2 month fling with him after that before breaking it off! He was an ass, as you say...

I know what you're saying about the whole picture @junbean - the thing is they are still obvious because they are purple and haven't faded to silver/white. So he will definitely notice them. I build up the thought of that moment in my head of the clothes coming off to the point I avoid dates. It's a crap way to live.

He seems a decent man, so I hope he'll be happy with the 'full package' - not much I can do to change it is there?

Oh yeah I see what you mean. Well hopefully when the moment comes it's nothing like what's been playing out in your head. Just remember we all deal with it and he's likely seen it before. I've had the same kind of thing in my head about my c-section scar. I haven't dated since I got it and I've overthought it so much I cancelled several dates. There's a line in Eat Pray Love about this where one character was worried about her muffin top and the other character said something like when a guy sees you naked he's not thinking about your belly, he's just excited there's a naked woman in front of him. I think that's very true!

How old are you both op?

@SleepingStandingUp he is 30 and I'm 31.

Any grown up bloke will be way too polite to say a word and if hr fancies you and likes your company won't care.

You will be fine - he asked you out straight away and that has to tell you something right?

Thanks @ManAboutTown - I just dislike having any kind of physical flaw that makes me feel self conscious this way.

Years ago I dated a guy who when we came to do the deed had quite extensive acne scarring in his back that surprised me. It wasn't a turn off tbh, just a surprise and didn't put me off sleeping with him. Maybe need to try my best to think of this in a similar fashion...

I have similar and dh didn't bat an eyelid when we reached that stage. The right guy will be so excited to get to that stage with you that he won't give a shit. Plus guys have body hang ups as well and stretch marks are perfectly normal and most people have them somewhere on their body. The other fling sounds like an idiot.

Ignore the crap ex. I had a similar experience with a crappy ex. My next partner never mentioned them and to be honest,if he had, because he made me feel like a goddess- I'm not I would have laughed. He will be thanking his lucky stars he is becoming intimate with u. Don't draw attention to ur perceived flaws. Enjoy yourselves.