its been a very long time building a female friendship to find many years down the line ive now been placed on the backseat or like im the last resort to call if nothing else is on. . i try really hard to gauge the situation like not text or call many too many times as i know from previous comments that others texting or calling them are a source of huge irritation to them. they had a serious family situation so i listened and tried to help and offered to help write a letter. i was just about to jump in the car and grab a bottle of wine on the way then a text came ''we're down the beach with mum'' so a sloped back into the house feeling very sad in not being able to see them and not one single txt or call came in over two weeks after that. ive got to the point where i have to wait far a call and no text is answered for a few days if i text and each text opens with ''Ive been so busy''. i darent call because of the last comment i heard from the which was they believe someone hasnt got a life if they call. however if im not available on a saturday evening at very short notice ( I give it until 12 then I make my own arrangements so im not alone or i have someone to do) something is always said when im not available so I feel torn. they dont know anything about my life not, even my birthday not even what i do in a job or what or how my child is doing or where i ve just been on holiday. after listening for hours and hours over the phone to their issues, when a tragic family event happened i was the last person to know yet i was expected to come over to a gathering at short notice and comments were made why i hadnt been in touch since the summer yet comments were made again about the pain in the rse people who text or call them. its exhausting for me to try and gauge what to do. its the first female friendship ive had in a very long time as im in a male dominated industry. i work a long way from my home address in an office of 98% males and so have lots of male friends but i feel totally out of my depth in trying maintain a friendship with a female without p*ing them off or being pushed back down the line of priorities. im so confused with line ''havent seen you for ages, we must go for coffee'' then you say ok next wed, then their face drops, not available. women keep doing this to me all the time so how am I getting it so wrong all the time in reading the situation wrong. before anyone jumps to the wrong conclusion im s a person with no real issues who is totally financially independant and on top of a full time job, i do a lot of volunteering in the community but the volunteering is dominated by males too. my time is really filled so im not a needy person