Badly behaved children in restaurants = £40

[Jewelspun]

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/restaurants-parenting-policy-could-see-28010645.amp

A restaurant has sparked controversy for charging extra for “adults unable to parent”, adding £40 to the bill for families with badly behaved children. Toccoa Riverside Restaurant said the charge has been around for a long time, but is just now garnering attention.

Yeah plus these people are not stressed. Actually they’re always the oppostie of stressed - until you ask them to leave because their kids are running around unattended and THEN they’re stressed. And kick off. And tell you YOURE the problem because you don’t want to be supervising other people’s out of control kids as well as running an establishment.

But @Lavender14, is it fair for an independent restaurant to lose custom because people don't take their kids out when they are disturbing others? To be honest, if a kid is full on meltdown at the next table or running around my table, I'm not going to think "oh, that kid might be adopted or be non NT" when i factor in whether to suck it up and order dessert. I'll just leave because I can't cope with the disturbance any more. I am ND and have an unruly toddler. It happens, but the onus is on the "disturber" to leave and not everyone else to suck it up or get out of there and leave the owner shorter on drinks/coffee/dessert.

As PPs have said, this is not really an issue in a massive pizza express as noise is high anyway and you expect it. Bit different in an independent restaurant where people come for a special meal out.

some Children cope beautifully in restaurants. Others don’t. The rest are a mix.

there are times when the beautifully behaved children become unhinged due to
-over-stimulation
-too excited
-tired
-SEN
-winding each other up.

basically sometimes you can’t predict how any child will behave. Parenting is a fucking nightmare sometimes.

^^yes but when said child melts down you remove them out of respect for other people who don’t want to hear your child’s meltdown (whatever the reason)

The U.K

Yes, how is this enforced?

*The restaurant has a menu with the price on-

*the diners order and pay the advertised price

*the restaurant says they owe £40 extra because their kids were badly behaved

*the diners say no they weren’t and refuse to pay…

what recourse does the restaurant have in this situation? Who gets to define well behaved?

I know places can throw people out without a refund if they are being disruptive etc, but I’ve never heard of them being able to demand more money than the price stated?

Also, I would have thought it would fall foul of discrimination legislation if the kids in question have sen.

What’s the point in waiting until they were leaving to complain about the behaviour? It would have been better to ask them straight away to get the kids under control or leave.
I don’t think most young children are suited to most restaurants. They want to be in McDonalds or similar. I would rather eat without other peoples bored children causing trouble but the threat of a charge does nothing to resolve the problem. Just have clear child free times and ask people to behave or leave when the problem is occurring.

The loudest people I've heard in restaurants have been adults. Fake laughter, shouting over each other, drunken behaviour.

It helps you because it deters the non-parenting parents from coming.

Brilliant! I am understanding of parents whose kids have a hard time or who need redirection but are trying. But there are way too many CFs out there who assume it is someone elses job to manage their kids in a public place and leave their kids to run riot. All for them being fined - something has to make them take things seriously.

@ChatBFP but then the owner is still going to be out profit regardless if the family need to leave without finishing their meal.

To be honest, I think our society in general isn't really that accepting when it comes to kids. I have a small child and generally he's very content when we're out and obviously I do my best to be considerate of other people when we're out for a meal. But if I'm on holiday and I want to go for a nice meal with my husband then we will do so, we're paying customers and my child has every right to be there even though he won't be acting like an adult because he isn't one. I do think it's unfair to expect children to be able to perform in those types of situations without giving them the opportunity to be in them in the first place. Kids learn by doing and experiencing which means they are going to get it wrong a few times before they get it right, or maybe they normally do get it right but are having a bad day like any of the rest of us can.

I went out for a celebratory dinner recently, we had a voucher for a lovely restaurant in town that was close to expiring and it was a really big celebration for me. I'm breastfeeding and ds refuses a bottle and doesn't settle well with my in laws so he had to come. He was really good and behaved really well and the entire time I was so worried about other people feeling he had no right to be there thanks to reading other similar threads as a new mum. Why shouldn't parents who have limited or no childcare be able to mark occasions, why shouldn't they be able to celebrate with their loved ones including their children.

Obviously I'm not talking about parents who are blatantly ignoring dangerous or inappropriate behaviour and are making no attempt to manage or support their child in those moments, but my point is just who makes the judgement and how is it kept fair?

To me it would be much more appropriate for a server or ideally manager to have a quiet word with the parents and ask them to keep their child seated for example.

Ooh, I saw this on WalesOnline page too.
Had many a parent of kids with all sorts of special needs say they will be discriminated against.

Sorry, but allowing your SEN kid to self regulate by running about in a place where food and drink is being carried about is not acceptable.

It sounds like you walked past a table that was outside.
So what if some dog paws were on the table? Does food get slopped onto a table when served?
I have seen more people change nappies on a cafe table than dog paws on them.
You do realise that the tables do get cleaned, yes?

Taking your children to a restaurant to teach them how to behave is lazy parenting. Just teach them how to behave at home sitting at your own dining table. The rest of the diners shouldn’t have to be props in your ‘real life’ classroom! If children need myriad items to ‘entertain’ them whilst dining, maybe they shouldn't be there in the first place.

Agree with @Thesearmsofmine and @coffeetofunction. I have seen countless threads on MN from parents struggling with children with high complex needs who have meltdowns in public and the children are judged as badly behaved. Sometimes SEN can present like bad behaviour and I would worry that an unqualified person working on a restaurant would slap a fine on cases like this.

I do realise that even SEN children need to be taught to manage their emotions and triggers in public as far as is possible for them to do so, and I realise that yes a child can have SEN and also be badly parented, it's not always clear cut. But it takes time for parents to get a diagnosis these days let alone learn how to manage . If things get too bad for the other diners I can understand the management asking them to leave Or take the child out to calm down for a bit may be but I'm concerned that fining will target the wrong families.

Wanker tax!!!!!! I love it.

I wish we could have done this when I worked in a restaurant as a student. I'd be carrying scalding hot plates around and kids running wild around me. I'd be terrified of dropping something on one of them - or on me!
My manager once told two to please sit down (he was way more polite than he needed to be) and he got an earful.

That said I do think many parents take children out to hear when they just aren't ready for that. Small children find fine dining tedious and are likely to play up a bit. Sticking to MacDonalds may be a better option until the kids are older.

It still looks like bad behaviour front the outside though

I have a very close friend that has ASD... he has been banned from multiple cafes and pubs for meltdowns. He has caused distress to other customers and the staff (and me... I often try to deter police going after him as he just wants to go home to his safe space).
One particular cafe has asked how to help...but they have said ultimately if someone is upset by his behaviour, then they have to be seen to take action, and that may extent to banning him for a while.

Good idea. Add barking/yappy dogs to the list. And loud adults.

Excellent idea!

I love the idea of a wanker tax for adults who are nasty and rude to the staff. I've heard some horror stories from restaurant and pub staff.

Same. As a former waitress I was far happier dealing with annoying kids than drunken, obnoxious adults.

It’s tough but the restaurant has a right to remove people being disruptive, whether there’s a good reason for it or not, so a fine should apply in the same way. It’s a business and they have to cater to the majority of their customers.

It's clearly a PR gag by the restaurant! The "charge" has been around for ages on the menu and was meant to be a joke or cringy attempt to go viral. The owner clearly hoped for this exact situation where the restaurant's name gets mentioned multiple times for free in a national newspaper.