Homeschooling concerns

[RichTea63]

So bit of a backstory- since covid my sister's partner has fallen down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. It started with world economics forum conspiracies but is now full blown chem trails, lizard royal family, flat earth....you name it! Because of how aggressively he preaches at people he has isolated himself from all friends and most family members. Initially my sister was alarmed and concerned, but overtime there has been quite a bit of acceptance to these views. She basically thinks he has an 'amazing mind' and is right in a lot of his theories. I think there is quite a bit of manipulation going on. My sister and I maintain a good relationship by steering clear of certain topics. He has recently given up his job so he can focus full time on his 'research', so she is supporting them all (him plus their young daughter). There is talk of him starting his own business, but details are vague on what this would be. I have become recently more concerned as their daughter is due to start school next year. She thrives at preschool at the moment. The plan is for him to provide her education home schooling, along with running the 'business' on the side. I'm so worried that he will fill her head full of these extreme ideas....how can someone teach a child when they think the earth is flat?? I have broached my concerns with my sister, but she is having none of it...thinks the sun shines out of his backside basically. My understanding is that there is quite little monitoring from the local authority, and that they don't have to stick to the national curiculum. I'm at a loss on what I can do, without isolating my sister further from her family. Should I just butt out and support her and my niece however I can? I feel so sad, especially for my poor niece.

What a difficult situation!

You know your sister better than I do, so you are best-situated to know how she would respond to a second attempt to talk sense into her. Don't risk getting cut off because then that poor kid won't have any contact with anyone sensible.

If you think you could raise this again, I would remind her that teachers are trained to teach, they're paid to do it full-time, and that they are therefore the best people to educate your niece. Your niece also needs to learn social skills fro other kids. I would ask her to put the child first. She is entitled to a good education from people who can invest all of their working hours in doing it. It is her mother's job to look after her interests.

I would also immediately approach the local authority and maybe the local school for confidential advice. If things go very wrong, it'll help to have contacts and to know what your options are. The thing is, there SHOULD be monitoring of home schooling standards but austerity has starved children's services and you're right that there's little monitoring. So get as familiar as you can with the system and local personnel so that you can move fast if the situation needs to be reported.

Yes you should butt out.
You sound very judgmental. Have you any real concerns about them as parents other than his views on flat earth etc? Is she well cared for? Does she have a good life?

Just because someone has different views to you doesn’t make them wrong or weird. I’m no flat-earther but I am a home educator and I can reassure you that your concerns about socialisation are totally unfounded. Home educated children don’t stay home all day. They are out in the real world, not sat at a desk all day with the same 29 other children of the same age for 7 years. And I would also add that the state of ‘socialisation’ in secondary schools today is a very unhealthy model of socialisation and it’s not much better in some primaries. I can’t believe this ‘concern’ is still being trotted out.

With regards to the local authority & national curriculum, most LAs contact you once a year, you provide a report on what your child has been learning and that’s that. They won’t want to know anything else as long as they have no concerns about abuse.

The National Curriculum is optional thankfully (I’m an ex teacher and can tell you that it is absolutely NOT the best way for children to learn). The joy of being home educated is that you can follow your interests and passions and learn in a way that suits you/your child. They learn organically through real life and you would be surprised at how much they learn just from being involved in real life. My children have learnt maths from coming shopping with me, from building 3D structures in Minecraft, from learning about interest rates in their savings accounts, from counting sweets on Halloween, from baking recipes, from planting bulbs 10cm apart in the garden etc etc. You get the idea.

The idea that children can only learn via a qualified teacher in classroom is a lie that we have been sold. This is a hill I am willing to die on. What a PP says is utter rubbish. The LA will turn you away if you try to contact them. They are very used to home educating families and it will not concern them one bit. And as for contacting a local school…?! Why? To say what?!

Hold up. A flat-Earther is wrong. That "different view" is incorrect. No one like that is qualified to be teaching a child.

OP, your problem here is to figure out how much you can intervene and not get cut off because then the child's only connection to someone sane will be severed. It would be wrong to step back for the reasons this posted has provided.

I have a friend with a masters degree in a science major who home-schools. She has enough time and money to do a great job. The sad reality is that many home-schoolers hurt their kids but being unable to provide them with the education they deserve. Many fight any attempt at quality control tooth and nail. If your sister and brother-in-law get involved with that kind of home schooler, God help your niece. Do what you can.

@picturethispatsy I really don't get the impression that op was trying to say bad things about all home educators. I am sure plenty of people do a fantastic job and I'm a teacher myself and am often horrified at the rubbish experience children can get in school. However, the Op's concerns seem more about a man who has isolated himself with his extreme and unfounded views, not just a difference of opinion. I think op is right to be a little concerned that in this instance the child may end up isolated and isolated children are vulnerable to a whole variety of problems.

Op, there's not much you can do in advance if your sister and her dh are fixed on this, and who knows maybe he will do a good job. However, you can always make a safeguarding referral to the local mash team or social services if you felt she was being exposed to extreme views that might come under the prevent framework.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/the-prevent-duty-safeguarding-learners-vulnerable-to-radicalisation/the-prevent-duty-an-introduction-for-those-with-safeguarding-responsibilities

Just because someone has different views to you doesn’t make them wrong or weird.

In some cases they are 100% wrong though. If you believe the earth is flat that's not just a difference of opinion. it is factually incorrect. I would have concerns abut someone who believed that teaching young children.

“The sad reality is that many home-schoolers hurt their kids but being unable to provide them with the education they deserve. Many fight any attempt at quality control tooth and nail. If your sister and brother-in-law get involved with that kind of home schooler, God help your niece. Do what you can”

Many?! How many do you know?

What a ridiculous statement.

I know lots as I am one, and I can tell you that is utter nonsense. ALL of the home educators I know are providing a personalised, engaging, interesting, well rounded education for their children. The children and teens I know are well rounded, engaged, intelligent, interesting, knowledgeable, kind people who have a true love of learning. They don’t have learning forced upon them by stressed out adults in a stressed out environment/system.

The older ones I know mostly go on to college/further education and do so willingly and not burnt out as many of their peers are. The ones that don’t have the life skills to start their own businesses and pursue their passions.

The misconceptions about home education on here never fail to astound me.

Im not into all that but just because he has one unusual thing about him doesn’t mean he’s unsuited to home educating his child.

It’s certainly not a safeguarding issue. I can tell you that the LA will not give a stuff if he believes the earth is round or flat. They’ll be interested in if she’s well cared for, if she has opportunities to learn things she’s interested in and if she has some socialisation.

I'd be pretty concerned if the teacher teaching my son at school believed that the earth was flat (which is, in fact, wrong and not just a difference in opinion). However agree that there's not a whole heap she can do.

Hi, thanks for replies. Yes absolutely I am not bashing homeschooling. @picturethispatsy it sounds like you are providing an amazing and enriching educational experience. In my situation this is more than a difference of opinion....this man has lost touch with reality. I worry about his ability to provide an education on the basic facts of the world we live in. The homeschooling community in our area is as I understand it very active, but he doesn't like to mix with meer 'sheeple', so my worry is that my niece will be isolated. Granted I don't know this for sure. @WonderingWanda this is really helpful thankyou