I regret moving -I'm so upset

[theonewiththee]

I moved yesterday from my 1 bedroom bedsit
I lived there with my partner for two years and our 2 cats
I lived there for 5 years previously
I'm so upset
I can't stop crying looking at pics of us all at the bedsit.
We have moved to a nice 2 bedroom house with a garden and it's lovely but it's not my home.
I have to hand the keys back today and I'm heartbroken
It's literally just a bedsit
Not even that nice
Crap downstairs neighbour but I can't stop crying
My partner thinks I'm round the bend
It's too late now and I've lost the bedsit and I'm devastated .
What's wrong with me?
I couldn't find any of my things this morning as they all in boxes
None of my pics of my late mam are on the wall
The cats were at my sisters till we moved
The fridge was off so no cup of tea
I just feel so sad

It's just the disturbance of the move
It takes time to turn a house into your home
Remember why you chose to move and concentrate on getting the most important room turned around

I think it is more common thank you realise but you probably are at the more extreme end of how you feel. I've always had mixed feelings when I've moved. Once you start to get the new place sorted you will start to feel better, hopefully soon. I think moving house can be traumatic.

Is this a joint financial commitment when the bedsit was just yours?

That would make me feel some nervousNess.

It definitely takes a while for a new space to feel like home. The old home has gone and your new space doesn't have that "home" feel yet.

prioritise finding your favourite mug and get fresh milk so that you can have a cup of tea out of your favourite mug. X

We all get sad at the end of an era. Give yourself time and get your photos up and retrieve your cats. Make it homely with your partner.

You'll get into the new flat, with nice neighbours, get bedding on your bed, water in the kettle, and you'll be sorted. Next weekend you can get out and explore your new area. You'll get there; it will just feel odd for a while. You've got history in the old place. Now you'll be making some more in your new place.

Give yourself time to adapt to the change.

I felt like I was living in a B&B when I moved to my current house, it didn’t feel like home for a little while. Moving here was the best decision I made it just took a while to realise.

We have moved to a nice 2 bedroom house with a garden and it's lovely but it's not my home.

It doesn't feel like home yet

Did you lose your mum recently? It can be really hard moving to a new stage of life without someone you have lost, the feelings can get all mixed up together - like you are leaving them behind.

You are not leaving her, put the pictures up and think how happy she'd be to see you in a lovely new home.

I really feel for you, as you sound a bit distessed but I do believe you will settle, you're just in shock/panic right now and I don't think you are thinking quite rationally.

Slow down, take your time to let go of the old place and try to stop expecting to feel 'in love' with your new home, it will take a bit of time. Please try not to worry but just take your time to settle in.

Day 1 op. Keep a time line with photos on your phone of daily progress.. Start with adding your dcats and photos of your dm. Congratulations on the new chapter in your life op. Imagine your dcats in that garden in a few weeks!! Amazing for them!

Moving is so unsettling. Go and get a nice cup or coffee / tea from a cafe and some breakfast if you haven't done so already. Set some small targets. Today, get the fridge on. Open some boxes, make one small part of this new place feel like home. Maybe your bedroom, get some photos out, your sheets etc. It will feel like home soon enough op.

I don't want to leave my house now but felt the same as you when we moved in.

@theonewiththee

OP, you were in the bedsit for 7 years. It was home and you made memories there. Everything was familiar - the creaking floor boards, the sound of the traffic, the wind in the trees at night. I had a very similar meltdown when I moved even though it was to a much nicer place. I was beside myself and couldn't stop crying. I even (inexplicably) missed the miserable old git that owned the local convenience store and then I realised I'd left the kettle behind. I started to dwell on how the poor kettle must feel without me! It's natural. We are creatures of habit and moving is one of life's most stressful events. It's right up there with bereavement and divorce. A huge part of your life has just been ripped away but trust me, you will settle and and you will realise it is all good.

Try to be happy about having a nicer bigger property - think where you can put your stuff - get a grip in a nice way

It probably took about a year for our house to feel like home but a little bit more each season. First Christmas, birthdays, family and friends over all build memories that make it start to feel more like your home rather than a home.

Everyday after this will be easier.

I found the best way to settle in was to start on the bedroom. Get the bed put together, clean bedding on, curtains up and unpack some clothes. Put a few pictures up or a few nice bits and pieces. Feeling like you can sleep somewhere comfortable is a big step forward.

Next, the kitchen. We split this so my husband unpacks and washes and I decide where it all goes because I like to cook and bake.

Then, living room (me) and bathrooms and cleaning (husband). You will be amazed how much better you feel tonight when your furniture is in the right place, the room is all cozy and the pictures of your Mam are back on the wall. Takeaway for tea because you will be tired.

It will be fine but it is rarely an overnight thing feeling right in a new place. It will be lovely to have all that new space.

Moving house is one of the top 3 most stressful life events - alongside death of a close relative & divorce. So it's totally understandable that you're feeling upset / relieved / discombobulated.

Don't feel bad about feeling bad. Be active, eg , Draw up a list of 6 things to do today (turn on the fridge / find your toothbrush / put your knickers in the drawer / fetch the cats)
tomorrow - have another 6 things to do

You will be fine and this house will be your home

Is it because your mum isn't there to cheer you on with the new stage in your life?
Get her picture up first.
Things will stop feeling strange very soon.

Any chance you are just a bit sleep deprived and tired from the move? Perhaps overwhelmed by change? Stressed about the work of setting up a new place?

your new place will become a home with time.

you don’t have to rush the unpacking. Focus on what you need in order to be basically functional and to be able to relax. Then if you need it, take a break and let the boxes sit for a few days before you deal with the remainder.