How do you make time for friends

[DoraDunebug]

My social life is dire. I see my sister once a week and a work friend once a month for lunch but that’s it. I have three children and work between the school runs - short hours but emotionally draining work.

If you have a good social life, how do you make it work? When do you spend time with people? Are they long term friends or have you made them recently? Do you just sit and chat (with or without kids) or do you do an activity together?

When mine were that age I didn't really have much of a social life but I had friends over for dinner once the DC were in bed. Mine are now 16 and 14 and I have my life back ti a certain extent.. it does get easier. But I appreciate you have a while to go. It also massively helps if you have friends who live nearby. I didn't really see further afield friends much when the kids were younger unless we went away for the weekend with the DC.

Mine are older now younger teens but i tend to do the following:
Weekend a year away with old friends not expensive usually a travelodge type job.
Walks with neighbour friend once a week in evening or Sunday
Weekends staying with friends or they come here 3/4 a year
Meals out once every other month with 2 work friends
Quick coffee at local garden centre or Costa with friend, sometimes we go a walk sometimes she comes to me for a bacon bap and cofee.
On group messaging with most friends.
Just have to try and fit things in but it can be hard when kids are small.

One weekly and one monthly activity sounds pretty good to me for someone with 3 kids? I tend to see my two close friends for a girls evening every few weeks, plus special events through the year (beer festival, bottomless brunch for our birthdays next month, etc) and a girls weekend once a year. I try and go to my book club once a month, see my family with the kids and chat to some other school parents at the gates/parties. That feels like loads alongside work and parenting! But I am an introvert at heart

I have a hobby with a women's team once a week on an evening which I love and has been great for making new friends. I see my closest friends altogether about once every 8 weeks as I live pretty far away now and I see friends local to me weekly. Two in Particular are closed mum friends so we get together with our preschool children for toddler groups and all have lunch afterwards at one of our homes.

I agree with @riotlady . My sister and I live 40 mins from each other and we see each other maybe 4 times a year. And thats only because I initiate it... she will say her social life is dire but thats because she makes no effort.

I think effort has to be made, childcare organised, mustering the energy to meet for drinks/coffee after work, accepting invitations and giving them out.

I found it much easier when the dc were small and in bed early. We would meet and the children would play day time or dinner in the evenings.

Now they are teens they need lifts all of the time at all hours to parties etc. I am older now and so knackered.

I organise Christmas and a summer dinner without fail, and fit in the odd coffee on my day off mid week a few times a month max. Dinner at the weekends once a month with friends on a Saturday night. I can’t manage anything else. Life is too busy.

Isn't that what WhatsApp was invented for?

I had a video call with a friend last night while washing up, does that count?

@Notinmylifethyme yes! I think so!