To quit or not to quit?

[Snard4]

I know this has been asked thousandfold probably by me but I currently work three days a week as a teacher. I’m starting to absolutely hate the job, though it does have some pros, and my house and family are falling apart.

circumstances dictate that I have an opportunity (excuse? Reason?) to hand in my notice, leaving the job altogether to stay at home for a bit with my 4 kids. Me quitting would make their lives better without a shadow of a doubt. I would eventually look for other work, probably not teaching but maybe education related.

What would you do?

❤️

''@CalistoNoSolo

I have limited sympathy tbh. You chose to have four children, you only work three days a week and you admit you don't manage your time. I'm sure someone will be along any minute to suggest you're ND, but it sounds to me like you need to take responsibility for yourself. How are bills going to be paid if you don't work?''

What a nasty little reply...

The OP is doing the right thing by leaving a job she does not enjoy and that is having a negative impact on her life.

Nobody needs your permission to have four children either...

Back to you OP: I would leave and maybe look at doing some private tutoring or a completely different job maybe two days a week that does not require you to do extra work in the evenings.

Best of luck with your future plans!

Thank you @Startingagainandagain

A job I could just leave behind when I left work would be the absolute dream!

Yes I was a primary school teacher for 18 years (mixture of full-time and part-time over the years). I was doing 3 days per week when I finished and it was becoming unbearable.

I had the opportunity to join my dad in the business he runs so I am now the finance manager there and retraining as a qualified accountant.

If you have an opportunity to get out, I'd say take it!

That’s great, @thirdistheonewiththehairychest! Congratulations! Besides my maternity leaves and a short stint working in preschools, I’ve only ever been a teacher. Altogether that’s about 20 years! Time for a change perhaps?!

I'm happier, my kids are happier, I have time and energy to do things that before seemed impossible.

Also gonna guess that you're not a teacher 😂

Quit, quit, and quit some more! If it's not going to put you into financial difficulty then definitely quit!

Teaching literally drains the life out of you one day at a time. Wish I could quit but it's just not an option for me atm.

I suppose the only question is, can you afford to do that?

Teaching is brutal. Get out if you can. Just be mindful of how it will affect your pension.

Surely you shouldn’t be expected to plan for the days you aren’t at work? Tell me you get PPA and don’t plan for that.

Of course I bloody shouldn’t. I’ve become more courageous since joining the “thinking of leaving teaching” page and will be requesting to be paid overtime when it comes to writing all of the reports etc!

As a teacher, I'd say it's only worth it if you're full time and progress your career so that you're earning decent money. Too many teachers I've worked with have done pretty much full time hours, and certainly full time mental load on 3 days a week pay - and a part time pension!

The work life balance is seriously shit to start with, but as you get more experience you do learn short cuts and just have more confidence to say enough, I'm going to do a good job but I'm not going to sacrifice my life to it.

As a woman in my late 50s and taken retirement from teaching I can certainly see the benefits - my pension is be far better than most occupational pensions.

If teaching really isn't for you then quit now- it's certainly not the sort of job you should stick in if it's grinding you down that much.

But think long term too. It's easy to quit when retirement seems light years away but when it comes round, make sure you're prepared.

I can honestly say the stress I'd feel now if I didn't have my index linked pension while still in my 50s would be far greater than any stress the job ever gave me.

Thank you @lizzy8230 and congratulations on your retirement!

I don’t know. I think I might do something completely different. I have about 20 more years of work left in me!

Tomorrow is the deadline for resigning 😱

I saw a comment on here that said you need to “take responsibility for yourself” but they said it in what sounded like a derogatory way. I totally agree though. You need to take responsibility for your health and your family. Take time out whether that means quitting and taking time off or taking a sabbatical or taking 6 months sick leave but you sound burnt out and that stuff is serious and only gets worse. Take some time and 100% focus on yourself and your health. You, your family and any future career will reap the rewards.

Thank you @DarkWingDuck

Quit. You will get another job, you will not get this time with your family again

Thank you.

For one reason and another, I did not quit by the deadline date and now I have to carry on. I don’t want this life anymore.

You posted just 3 days before the deadline for giving notice, so it would have been a knee jerk thing so to be fair it's probably not a bad thing that you now have more time to consider all options. Better to leave in a planned way.

In your shoes I would do some research, look not just at working hours and salary for other jobs, but also pension provision. Really look at all sides of things. If you stay in teaching then I would honestly say full time is better than 3 days. You're probably doing almost full time at the moment without the benefits of full time pay and pension

Thank you @lizzy8230

Today I have decided i definitely can’t do this anymore. I just can’t. I can’t seem to “fake it til I make it” and I’m so unhappy in my job.

A list of pros and cons- head over heart. I just can’t. The heart is winning. 😢

I totally get what you’re saying about going full time but the thought of it makes me feel sick.

Quit.

I quit my job (high stress) 2 years ago. For 2 years before that i tried to manage how things were by dropping a day (but my targets stayed the same which meant I just had to work for free over the weekend).

My family was falling apart. I only have 2 children but the older one is disabled and was also suicidal during covid and home schooling.

I quit. Our life changed out of sight because i was present. Earlier this year I started doing some bank work just to stop my CV being so gappy. I can say yes or no to work as I choose. I have some extra money coming in. It works.

As you said, you should not be having to plan for your 2 days off. So don't. don't plan for the time when you are out for PPA, that's not legally your responsibility. Don't be available on the days you are not contracted to work.
I'm guessing you know that HLTAs will be delivering lessons on your days out, and you think they shouldn't have to plan, so you are planning for them instead. However, planning is part of an HLTA's job. If they don't want to do it/can't do it, that is SLT's problem, not yours. You just need to be able to plan and teach the lessons for the days you are there, unless you have some special , agreed area of responsibility. However you are expected to do things like reports and you know you won't get overtime for that.
You sound very stressed ...can you get signed off by your GP for a few weeks and see how that goes?
If you don't then feel better, you could go to the Head, say you are handing in your notice but want to leave early.. if they are unable to agree an earlier exit date , you might just have to stay off sick until your notice period expires.

I can sympathise. I filled in an application for a council job in September and got an interview straight away but rejected it, then just before half term realised I really can't do this anymore - it's making me ill. I've had reoccurring chest pains for 2 years and not gone to the dr because a) time/time off and b) I knew it was "just" stress.

I'm now off sick and handed my notice in 2 days after the deadline but it's been accepted because it's quite obvious I'm not fit to go back.