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Original poster

Hate DP's beard

25 replies

Harvestfestivalknickers · 27/10/2023 20:06

Been with DP for 15 years, met him when I was in my mid 30's. When I met him, he was in a physical job, fit, clean shaven, took care of himself and I was smitten. Fast forward to now, he's now grown a beard which is awful, not a trendy short beard but a full on zz top beard, it's fizzy, wirey and grey and does absolutely nothing for him. He's knows I dislike it but when people have suggested 'I bet your wife hates it', he replies 'well, it's a good thing she has no say in it', I know it's best not to say anything, so I have never told him to shave it off. The trouble is I hate it so much and am so embarrassed by it, that I'm finding any excuse not to go out with him. We haven't been away or had a holiday in the past 2 years. I'm normally quite a chilled person but even his colleagues call him Gandalf now and nieces call him Father Christmas! Its a source of amusement for them, but I am so embarassed. Even my parents ask 'has he shaved that awful beard off yet?' so I know it's not just me. He's had it for 2 years now, I had hoped the novelty would have worn off but no. He hasn't clocked that our sudden lack of social life and no holidays has occurred since the beard appeared. I worry that this is my life now.

OP posts:
Crazycrazylady · 27/10/2023 22:07

Sympathies op: I'd hate this too. I would totally panic about the hygiene aspect of it .. I think g he brought it up id tell him I thought him much less attractive with it and I wouldn't let him kiss you etc. hopefully he'll take the hint!

Chypre · 27/10/2023 22:11

Trust me, if he would SUDDENLY shave it off you would hate it even more. Try to float an idea of going to a proper barbershop, to have a haircut and beard MAINTENANCE (to grow it even longer and stronger yada yada). If those barbers are worth their salt their will chop right off at least two thirds and trim the remaining third nicely.

Chypre · 27/10/2023 22:18

(it's a lot like women going to hairdressers asking for the ends to be trimmed and then walking away with half of the lengths chopped)

Universalsnail · 27/10/2023 22:23

I hate beards. I made it pretty clear early on in my relationship that if he decided to grow a beard my vagina would dry up instantly and I wouldn't kiss him. I would just tell him it's ugly and to atleast trim it short and maintain it because it's a huge turn off.

LightSpeeds · 27/10/2023 22:24

If a few people make comments about how aging it is, he might just get rid of it...

Meredusoleil · 27/10/2023 22:28

I absolutely cannot stand beards or moustaches on men. As a result, my kids regularly joke that my husband should grow some facial hair (just to wind me up). I've told them all that I'll be showing him where the door is if he does!

Notamum12345577 · 27/10/2023 22:31

Harvestfestivalknickers · 27/10/2023 20:06

Been with DP for 15 years, met him when I was in my mid 30's. When I met him, he was in a physical job, fit, clean shaven, took care of himself and I was smitten. Fast forward to now, he's now grown a beard which is awful, not a trendy short beard but a full on zz top beard, it's fizzy, wirey and grey and does absolutely nothing for him. He's knows I dislike it but when people have suggested 'I bet your wife hates it', he replies 'well, it's a good thing she has no say in it', I know it's best not to say anything, so I have never told him to shave it off. The trouble is I hate it so much and am so embarrassed by it, that I'm finding any excuse not to go out with him. We haven't been away or had a holiday in the past 2 years. I'm normally quite a chilled person but even his colleagues call him Gandalf now and nieces call him Father Christmas! Its a source of amusement for them, but I am so embarassed. Even my parents ask 'has he shaved that awful beard off yet?' so I know it's not just me. He's had it for 2 years now, I had hoped the novelty would have worn off but no. He hasn't clocked that our sudden lack of social life and no holidays has occurred since the beard appeared. I worry that this is my life now.

The ZZ Top guys had amazing beards!

MysticMary · 27/10/2023 22:33

My husband has had full facial hair for 5 years and sadly it has given me the ick. He knows how I feel about it but he isn't bothered. I now have to have a couple of drinks before I can be intimate with him. I don't know if he will ever get rid of it but it seems like such a trivial thing to end a marriage of 12 years over! Unfortunately I just do not find him attractive these days. Sympathies OP.

Johnisafckface · 27/10/2023 22:42

I love beards, and actually prefer them over a clean shaven face. However I can’t stand the long, Gandalf, scraggly looking beards. That would be a turn off for me too.

Original poster
Harvestfestivalknickers · 27/10/2023 22:45

So glad it's not just me that hates straggly beards. I haven't and won't kiss him due to the hygiene issue. Trouble is, he's dug his heals in about it but I don't think he realises just how aging it is? We attended a relatives party and one couple remarked 'that's a remarkable beard mate', he was bursting with pride, but tbh I don't think they meant it in complimentary way. I'm not attracted to him at all now, I hate to admit it but I see his awful appearance as a poor reflection of me. I want to feel proud of my partner not embarrassed, I won't take pictures of him or us.

OP posts:
VeridicalVagabond · 27/10/2023 22:51

Oh god I'm getting flashbacks to the fucking handlebar moustache and mutton chops my husband grew during lockdown just because he could while furloughed.

I love the man to death but that facial hair was horrendous.

igglu · 27/10/2023 23:02

I could have written this word for word a few years ago. I'm now divorced.

Whataretalkingabout · 27/10/2023 23:28

Mine did the same thing a few years ago. Disgusting! I got a good laugh by introducing or referring to him as my dear old dad. I think people did wonder! Ha! It certainly made him think ....

TheTecknician · 28/10/2023 11:24

Beards seem to be fashionable for relatively young men these days. I work with several twenty and thirty somethings who sport the Desperate Dan look, often in the company of various tattoos. I admit to once being bearded but that was nearly thirty years ago and lasted for less than a month. Never again!

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/10/2023 11:25

Johnisafckface · Yesterday 22:42
**
I love beards, and actually prefer them over a clean shaven face. However I can’t stand the long, Gandalf, scraggly looking beards. That would be a turn off for me too.””

This.

erlangshen · 28/10/2023 11:40

OP, I totally understand how you felt. A few years ago my DH decided he wanted to keep his beard and would comment on every actor who had a big beard when we were watching tv/movies "what a nice beard!", think about the Vikings. I hated it! I know its his body and I dont have a say but I found him less attractive and reluctant to go out with him. Everyone told him to shave it, his parents, sister, my parents etc... he never cared. I talked about this with him many times, but couldnt change his mind. In theory he is right, but I couldnt help with my feelings either. Two years later, one day he shaved it completely out of blue for a job interview and kept it short after that. I know its silly but I praised him a lot and gave him loads of kisses and was just really happy to have my old DH back. He did tell me that one day he would grow it back, but for now I feel lucky this day hasnt come yet.

shockeditellyou · 28/10/2023 11:42

Ditto. DH has grown his beard again whilst he’s been off sick (fair enough) but it absolutely turns my stomach. Hate it. I also made it clear from day 1 in our relationship that I hate beards. Wish he would make more of an effort to look after himself.

CesareBorgia · 28/10/2023 11:42

It's just fashion - like in the 80s moustaches were fashionable. He'll likely get rid of it when beards go out of fashion.

Original poster
Harvestfestivalknickers · 28/10/2023 12:44

CesareBorgia · 28/10/2023 11:42

It's just fashion - like in the 80s moustaches were fashionable. He'll likely get rid of it when beards go out of fashion.

Yes, tidy short beards are in fashion and I absolutely wouldn't have anything against a beard like this. But a full on straggly, wirey grey gandalf beard?

OP posts:
CesareBorgia · 28/10/2023 14:22

Harvestfestivalknickers · 28/10/2023 12:44

Yes, tidy short beards are in fashion and I absolutely wouldn't have anything against a beard like this. But a full on straggly, wirey grey gandalf beard?

Show quote history

I'm seeing a fair few Gandalfs as well! The long straggly beards seem to be popular with bald men.

tuvamoodyson · 28/10/2023 14:36

Oh! I hate beards like that! 🤢 I think of all the bits of food that get stuck in there!

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/11/2023 18:10

I was reading this about to post saying dh has grown a beard and I bloody hate it 🥲🥲😡😡

Kissing him is like eating a rug

Shudders

It's been pecks as I hate it

I kept asking him to shave it off and he would say no

He looked like a tramp

But

He's just come down shaved

Thank god

Dances happily

Been I think 6/8w if not shaving

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/11/2023 18:12

So to give you all hope they beards may go

Mountaindhew · 01/11/2023 18:18

Nope, no way. You can have a say.

oreo2024 · 01/11/2023 18:18

Put a spider in his beard when he's not looking!

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