Do sleepless nights bother some people more than others - newborns

[Coastalwalksarethebest]

Just thinking.

My dc are older now and I'm very glad. I've always needed my sleep and thinking back to the newborn stage it was so hard. Wasn't so bad with my first who would feed and then go back to sleep. But with second I was exhausted, baby didn't sleep through properly for years, then still had to be up early with dc1, no chance for me to nap during day.

Thinking back to those days, I felt very alone in the exhaustion and sleep deprivation, it didn't seem to bother some people so much.

I can distinctly remember speaking to an older lady one day in the park when dc2 was a few months old. She commented that it's a shame they can't stay babies. I commented back about it would be great if not for the lack of sleep and she looked at me like I had two heads.

Also hear lots of people saying the newborn days are the easiest. Lots of people, my mil for example just seem to go mad over a baby. When I see a baby all I think is that they're gorgeous but I'm glad I don't have one anymore.

That sound bloody awful, I'm so sorry!

I am someone who can usually cope with five (uninterrupted!) hours sleep a night, but oh my goodness, my son pushed me absolutely to my limits - but not as a newborn, since he would usually just feed and sleep, it was a few months later when he was in a routine where he would wake for a feed and then be expecting me to interact with him for a while (usually around 90 minutes) until he fell asleep again.

I remember telling myself each time it was only an hour and a half, and I could do this, just had to stay awake (and keep the baby safe!) But given that I hadn’t slept more than 45 minutes straight in the last 2/3 months, I was probably going slightly insane. Honestly it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, I was so exhausted, I could barely even remember my own name.

I used to think I was quite a fussy sleeper - needed exactly 2 and the right kind of pillows, total darkness, exact right kind of covers, couldn't sleep in the car etc.

After having my first child I could sleep sat up in a chair. I've retained the ability and love sleep now

I quite enjoyed night feeds with dd1. It was a quiet cuddly time!
But there were other factors:

1. She only did one night feed normally, and slept 10-12 hours (8:30pm-8:30am normally) from birth with only one waking.
2. She stopped night feeds at 6 weeks old.
3. She fed quickly and went back down easily
4. As she was #1, if I was tired when she went down for her afternoon sleep (up to 3 hours) I could sleep too.
5. Again because she was #1 I didn't have much I HAD to get to, so if we didn't get anywhere in the morning because I was tired, it didn't matter.
6. She was quite a placid baby, and once she could sit at 6 months she would happily sit there playing. Even once she could crawl (9 months) she had common sense and I could relax on the sofa while she played.

Dd2 was a different kettle of fish:

1. She woke about every 2 hours or more and a good night was about 8 hours from beginning to end. She often didn't sleep until 10pm.
2. She didn't sleep through until she was around 20 months (when the doctor gave her medised, no longer licenced for children)
3. She often wasn't interesting in feeding or anything but playing for the first hour or so, and rarely went down easily. She had the most piercing shriek when she didn't want to sleep which didn't just disturb our house (inc dd1) but next door and next door but one (who were very good about it, but I was aware). Yes, I did try and make it as boring as possible, keep lights off etc. If anyone has ever suggested it; I tried it.
4. She didn't do more than 40 minute naps during the day, but even then I had dd1 in the afternoons so I couldn't sleep then.
5. I had to get dd1 to preschool for 9am and dh had to be in work for 8:30am so I had to get up.
6. She (speed) crawled at 5 months, walked at 8 months and had no common sense or idea of danger. Within a week of walking she got onto the back of the sofa (like the top of the back of the seat) and balanced on it like a tightrope walker. "Am being careful" was one of her first phrases. Couldn't turn my back for a second or she got exactly where you didn't want her. No relaxing unless she was strapped in (and she was a little Houdini).

I'll also note dh was on the verge of being murdered a couple of times when he cheerfully woke (I breastfed, and he worked full time so I did most nights) and said "So she slept through last night, didn't she..."

Ds was different again. Unfortunately he had constant ear infections from 10 weeks old which did effect sleep:

1. Normally only one waking, occasionally two. Again he slept 10-12 hours, however he was a morning person from birth (at 16yo he still is) and I used to be struggling keeping him awake between 5-7pm so he didn't wake too ridiculously early in the morning, but I often left dh t put the other two to bed and went to bed with him, so I didn't get too tired.
2. He first slept through at 5 weeks old. Unfortunately shortly after that he started ear infections (constantly) which did tend to wake him. But it felt different when I knew he was in pain.
3. He fed like a suction machine. 5 minutes either side and back to sleep.
4. He slept 2 hrs during the morning when the girls were at school/preschool so I could sleep.
5. Dh was now on flexitime, so if I'd had a bad night or ds wasn't well then he'd take the girls to school/preschool.
6. He was also a very laid back baby, who was totally happy playing under his gym from birth, watching things go past, and bouncing himself in his chair. He crawled at 6 months, but preferred it to walking even when he could, and as long as he had his cars out wouldn't stray far from them. He also didn't like to go out of my sight, so I could relax more. Also dd1 by then was a very responsible 7yo who I wouldn't have left to look after him, but was more than capable of telling me if he was heading for something he shouldn't.

So if I'd only had #1 and #3 I'd probably have told you I quite enjoyed night feeds. #2 nearly killed me (hence the doctor giving her medised), but she was a lot of fun too. Love them all. :)

I think so OP, night shifts meant I was used to both being awake at night and sleeping during the day- very useful.

Having said that both DCs did 8-10 hours from 10 weeks ish so the broken nights didn't last long. I also breast fed so didn't need to fully wake up to feed at night.

DSis on the other hand would say 5 years of broken nights killed her health.

I didn't mind the lack of sleep at first but after 6-8 weeks it started to weigh very heavily on me. I guess it depends how often your baby wakes up but mine woke up a lot and I don't miss those days now. Although my next baby is due in 2 weeks so I'd better get on with it I guess.