Feeling lonely

[RazzleDazzle3]

Just after some perspective really.

Since Covid I have been wfh at the dining room table full time. DTs both living away for uni, 2nd year of 4 year courses and loving it.

DH works ridiculously long hours 5 1/2 days per week and then plays sport on the half day. 7th day he likes to do not much as he’s shattered from his 70hr week. This will reduce end of 2024.

I have a DBro who I see once a week, lives 90mins away.

Best friend quite recently passed away. Then I have lots of friends/acquaintances who I see for lunches or coffee that I always organise.

2 hobbies which I love and are 2 evenings out the house per week, apart from school holidays.

Just really feeling lonely, I miss going into the city a few days/week to the office. I miss rushing around taking DT to various activities. Schedule was mad, but I loved it. It gave me purpose.

This week I have literally seen no one other than DH. Being in my own company constantly gets me so down. Money is also tight whilst the DTs are at uni.

I look around at friends and they mostly still have grown children at home or a parent nearby, or going into a job.

Does anyone else feel like this and what have you done about it.

Sounds tough OP ❤️

Losing your best friend especially will have a big impact. Also must be a big change with your kids off to uni.

I think the obvious solution is to start getting back into the office a couple of days a week. Are your team not going in at all? Maybe you could speak to colleagues and try and start all going in once a week as a starting point? Otherwise it might be worth considering switching jobs to one where you can go in a bit more?

In the short term even just going to a coffee shop to work can be nice to get out of the house. Or would you consider getting a dog or cat to have a bit of company at home?

I guess the good thing is that there will be lots of long holidays when the kids will be back from uni and you will have a full house again. So lots to look forward to and good to start making plans. Also can you go and visit them?

X

Thank you for replying, going into the office isn’t an option as we don’t have one now.

You are right there are lots of uni holidays etc to look forward to and weekends we do generally do something social, or see the twins. It’s just the 5 long days in the middle, dark evenings and no activities this week adding to it.

I think I’m just throwing a pity party. Before I had to get up, dressed, commute, run around in the evenings. Now everything is optional; get up late, don’t get dressed, log on… not much else. Turns out I am rather lazy and don’t enjoy it…

Need to give my head a wobble and there are things to look forward to, money issues will ease late next year too. I need to stop being lazy and ensure I plan something each lunchtime to get out in the day light - am thinking maybe join a gym although feel too out of shape.

@RazzleDazzle3 I don’t think it sounds like a pity party! Lots of people would relate to how you were feeling in lockdown. I think that you do need to get back to having more of a routine/connections around you.

So is it twins which have now gone off to uni? That will definitely be leaving the house feeling double as quiet!!

Would you consider looking for other jobs with an office? I know it’s not easy to change jobs when you’ve worked there a while and are settled but in the long run it might really help. I feel you btw about being lazy, wfh and not having the energy of the office is definitely a struggle to be motivated.

Gym class would be ideal, being unfit is the normal place to start so don’t worry about that. What about finding a yoga/Pilates class which is a bit more ‘gentle’ and can start you in slowly. If you can join a class in the morning or lunch time that would hugely help.

You could also look at some volunteering opportunities. There’s lots of need for ‘befrienders’ for kids/foster leavers/elderly and you could make a big difference to someone’s life that way. Or schools often want volunteers to listen to readers so that might work if your job can be flexible enough to let you go for a couple of hours once a week?