Is it too late to have a meaningful life?

[lamprom]

Not sure if I've posted correctly or on the right thread. I'm new to posting so may be waffling in all the wrong places and if so, my apologies...

Just wondering how other women my age (38) cope with not having achieved their life goals by now?
I'm not talking specifically about children, although that is of course a welcome topic.
I'm wondering about women who are now at my age and how they generally feel about life?
I'm often fluctuating and can't say I00% that I feel one way or the other.

Hi, OP. I guess it would help if you talked a bit more about your goals? From my POV specifically, my goals when I was 37 were remarkably different from my goals when I was 44, and again when I was 50. So I guess it's hard to answer your question, as it is.

I should have said - 38 is a really important age for evaluating, and re-evaluating, goals and mindset. But it's hard for anyone to say without knowing what your own goals are, were, whatever.

I’m your age.

I’ve been unfocused in jobs, stayed too long in bad ones, I’m not very smart just average and as a result very behind my peers in job seniority and salary. It bothers me and I wish I’d done better.

Been trying for a baby for four years and nothing after a TFMR and 2 rounds of IVF. Running out of options tbh!

Some other health problems starting to rear their heads, but generally I’m very lucky with my health and appreciate it very much.

Also lucky to have a wonderful husband, and I have friends with excellent careers, health and money who don’t have that and are very sad about it.

My goal is to be more content. But also to be healthy and much better at my career. I’m not sure how clear those paths are.

what are your goals?

I am also dealing with this, but from the position of never really giving life goals a thought. I managed to get to where I am now always thinking when I do/get/finish x, my real life will start.

As in when i finish university, when I get a real job (never happened), when i get married.... etc. That last one was a shocker, I honestly thought it would answer alll the questions about the meaning and purpose of life.

But no. I am still me. Dithering on about what I should be doing with my life.

Slowly getting to grips with it though, but its hard figuring out what you want and what you value. For me it has been discovering hobbies and allowing myself to spend money on them, helping others in my community and learning for the sake of the learning.

It is hackneyed, but we do only live once and we are ultimately responsible for finding meaning in our lives.

So, good luck! But, yes, we can do it!

Meaningful is relative.

I wish I'd found a job I loved and made enough money to buy a house. My friend is wealthy and owns a beautiful flat in London, but she wishes she had met a decent man and had kids.

What does a meaningful life look like to you, OP?

38 was a defining age for me.

I finally woke up to the fact my then partner was pretty vile.
Reviewing the previous 20 years, I recognised that every man I'd 'chosen' was awful, that couldn't be a coincidence and so it must be me.
I realised I wanted a family and if I didn't do it myself, no-one was going to help me.

So I changed tack, stopped looking for a life partner, and things have improved immeasurably. 🙂

I don't know what is meant by 'meaningful'. You might not be a Nobel Laureate or saving lives performing neurosurgery every day, but your life is meaningful - I'm sure you have family and friends. I'm a bit confused by the notion that at 38 you think there's a chance of not having a 'meaningful life', when at any age you can go out and do something for others and make a difference.

Or do you mean something else by 'meaningful'?

What @Mushroomwithaview said. I’m your age, had kids young and it scuppered many things. My relationship with their dad ended. But I have two gorgeous kids who are now becoming independent.

my career is pretty much in the bin, I’ve hugely underachieved and now feel my cognition is declining. I spend a lot of my time on politics and socialising, which is great but doesn’t leave a lot of room for work or a relationship.

I think this chart is great to show how important it is to prioritise what means most st different times in your life.

I'm 2 years younger, so apologies if this isn't the answer to your question. But, tbh I have no idea about goals.
I've never really made any and never had a desire to see anything through.
I've been a SAHM/carer to my disabled son for 14 years, so I'm unsure about this whole thing Sure, I had/have dreams, but I don't know if they they can be goals (just things like owning a house, travelling overseas etc but with finances and my son's disability it's hard to travel).
So I just live for each day and don't worry about all that as it will just stress me out.

I think people have different priorities and seek their meaning in different ways. I am 39 and have zero interest in a "career".
I don't have life goals either, as I think that leaves you with one eye constantly on the future and therefore less emphasis on the present, which is all there really is. I do find it more challenging not to look back to the past, particularly with regards to my inability to have more than one child.

My meaning comes from my interactions with the everyday; people, animals and the natural world.

I think I am like this as I have known several people who passed away young or unexpectedly, the first being when I was a child myself, and it has definitely influenced how I live. There really is such beauty in the everyday.