Finding friends in your 30s

[Squirre]

I'm in my early 30s. Carer for disabled dc which takes up most of my time. Divorced & single, have a close group of girlfriends from childhood but all have moved away so though we chat online and meet up around Christmas they're not really around. I have a couple of Mum friends who I can chat to about dc and life as a parent carer but we don't meet up outside of things with the kids. I'm feeling pretty lonely & sad atm and worried I might tip into depression if I don't get myself out of my rut. Dc gets 2 overnight respite stays a month atm and I'd love to do something where I could meet people/find friendships but idk where to start!

I'd start by thinking of what things you actually enjoy or have always wanted to try. Then I'd join a class or club focused around doing those things. It means you've a natural commonality with the people going and most of them are probably there to meet people as well.

Volunteering can be a good way to meet people but might be very time consuming.

I think it's also about making the most of any opportunities you have to make a point of starting conversations and following them up etc.

It's definitely not easy, I had a baby a few months ago and went to lots of classes hoping to make a group of mum friends. I did make a few initially that fizzled out but I did make one proper friend out of it so that's been really nice.

Do you get any down time in the week where you could have a few hours at a hobby or class? Or would you have anyone who you could ask to do a bit of childcare for an hour or two regularly?

I'm not a fan of it really, but I know lots of people who've made friends going to the gym?

Some people make friends on online forums as well but I prefer to do things in person. It might be easier for you if you don't need to leave the house though. Maybe an online book club or similar?

I'm having a bit of a time clash with classes I'd love to try pottery or something like that! In all honesty I think my interests have fallen a way a bit and I need to try out a few things and find myself again. Something online might be my best option atm I'd prefer real life as it's easier and I'm a devil for forgetting to reply to things! It's definitely not easy but I need something for me I think! I wasn't sure about things like WI's or if they're more for an older age group. The one closest to me meets once a month and I think I could probably get childcare to go.

I think it probably depends on the group, I know there's a few hens sheds that have started near me as well but I don't know how widespread those are yet. It's probably one of those ones where you'd need to try a few groups to see what is the best fit for you? I went to lots of mums groups recently and in a lot of them noone seemed interested in making friends or chatting so I just moved on to another that seemed to have more like minded people. If you're creative and like hands on things, what about a knitting or crochet group? There's lots of younger people who are getting into them more now? Plus you could continue at home and then just attend when it suits you?

I wouldn't be put off by something being for older people. I've a few friends through work etc who are 20+ years older than me and it doesn't actually really matter!

Have you tried the Peanut app to make friends OP? I saw it mentioned on here and installed it myself. There are lots of ladies on there looking for friends

@Whatispants no I haven't! I was thinking of that being more parenting but I don't really know a lot about it. I'll have a look :)

@Lavender14 Thank you! I do need try a few things. Our council runs some crafty classes but all in the week annoyingly!