Divorce or not

[Happyday78]

We are on a holiday at the moment and I am seriously thinking if I should divorce my husband after my friend who is here with me pointed out how tired I must be every day.

So basically I got my degree from a top university and have a decent job. I married my husband twenty years ago, who although had a bachelor's degree, was not very competent in most jobs. He had been jobless for many years before he got his current job 7 years ago. Apart from his incompetence in working, he is not good at house work and is slow at doing most of the house work. So the current situation is that I basically do most of the house work, monitor kid's homework, handle all the financial stuff including car insurance, mortgage etc. Manage kids extra curriculum activities, apart from doing a job earning nearly 2.5 times my husband's income.

I keep regretting my decision of getting married. Although I never admit that in front of others. However now I am in my mid forties, I am thinking what the point of marrying to someone who can't help me much and don't care of my tiredness. Life is too short. Should I stop my regrets by divorcing ?

You should probably talk to him first before jumping straight to divorce!

I talked to him first but he feel asleep. It's like trying to talk to a stone. I don't think he will ever change. He is just what he is. We had similar conversations before and it never helped much to be honest. We don't communicate much nowadays.

After twenty years and no improvement, I'd say divorce is way overdue. Sounds like the marriage is long dead and needs to be buried.

It sounds like you’re done. I presume being on holiday has given you more headspace to think about it.

Yes life is to short.

At least he is working! The issue of you earning more than him isn’t relevant. But it sounds like you’re done with the relationship would you feel differently if he did pull his weight more?

I had not one but two similar husbands and have divorced them both. Its such a relief not having to drag a heavy weight around. They were disrespectful and lazy.
You should ditch your husband. He has no respect for you and is just a dead weight.

Do you love him and does he generally make you happy? If the answer is yes, then I’d say counselling is the way to go so he understands just how close he is to losing you.

If the answer is no, and he’s just another drain on you, then it might well be past time to go your separate ways. What are you actually saying to him when you talk to him? Because falling asleep when your spouse is telling you that they’re thinking about divorce isn’t a normal reaction. Does he understand his marriage is nearly over? Or is he just switching off because he hears you say that you need more from him and he thinks you’re just nagging him but will carry on putting up with his crap?