Social worker reported my rape to the police

[jugodenaranja]

I told someone I was raped, I contacted the GP and rape crises at the time, have been doing the right things. I’m not in contact with the person anymore but I have been clear I don’t want to report it, don’t want to talk about it, am continuing my life as normal alongside counselling and journaling and looking after myself. Everyone was understanding of that. But a social worker went to the police about it, the police called to let me know I can report it if I want to and how it would be dealt with, I explained I don’t want to. I know the social worker wants me to be well, I’m not angry with them but I was clear I didn’t want to report it or talk about it and stressful dealings with police/courts/my ex isn’t what I need right now, I don’t appreciate all these calls I’m getting about what happened, its mentally taxing to be reminded and it ruins my day

I completely support your right not to persue it, but I do think SW has a duty to make sure there is a record of this with police. I bet she / he never promised you confidentiality. Hope you can continue to find the right way forward for you.

She did what she had to as it was a crime. You have been through Hell. At some point you may want to talk, you may want to press charges.

look at EMDR and CARA. I can't find the bunch of flowers emoji so I'm sending you a safe sunny day at the beach
🏖

I refused to discuss that aspect with the police when my husband was arrested. I didn’t want the children to know. The DV and DA was enough. I still get shaky when I think about it, as you say, it’s mentally wearing. I get where you are coming from. I hope you learn to live with what happened and don’t punish yourself. 💐

I know of a youth worker who delayed reporting because he wanted to support the young person (over 18) he was working with to make her report on her own terms. He supported her by going with her to the station and then he was investigated for withholding details of a crime that he should have reported immediately. Confidentiality has limits and really your social worker should have explained that to you when you started working with them. I'm not a social worker but I work in a similar field and I explain my confidentiality limits when I meet someone and if they're about to make a disclosure, I'll remind them so they have the power to make an informed choice on what to share.

You didn't do anything wrong by not reporting and I fully understand why you might feel reluctant to, but your sw has a duty of care to you and to the wider community as well. I'm sorry you had that experience and felt you lost control over the information you gave her as well. I hope you have support and are gentle with yourself as you deserve both.