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Original poster

Twin gift etiquette please!

31 replies

Shadowboy · 26/10/2023 20:58

My daughter has been invited to a party for twins (different sexes) our usual party budget is £20 including card.

For a twin birthday do I spend £40?
or maybe £15 each including card? She actually only really plays with one child and doesn’t know the other but it’s a shared, joint party.
I don’t want to be tight but also £40 is a lot!

OP posts:
dessertorchide · 26/10/2023 21:00

Get her to make a couple of cards and spend £10 each. I have twins and the amount of presents after an all class party is unbelievable. £20 is a very generous budget IMO.

FourEyesGood · 26/10/2023 21:00

£20 for a party present is a lot in the first place! In this situation, get them a £10 present each (plus card each).

YourNameGoesHere · 26/10/2023 21:01

Spend £10 per child and get them each a gift. Although that's personally what I would have done up to this point anyway £20 per child is quite excessive.

Original poster
Shadowboy · 26/10/2023 21:07

I’m OK with £10 each but cards are about £2 so that only leaves £8? I try not to buy plastic tat. But something reasonable- but it sounds like £10 is standard? Even for pre-teens? When they were little £10 seemed fine but for a 10 year old and in todays climate it doesn’t seem to get anything decent.

OP posts:
YourNameGoesHere · 26/10/2023 21:09

Shadowboy · 26/10/2023 21:07

I’m OK with £10 each but cards are about £2 so that only leaves £8? I try not to buy plastic tat. But something reasonable- but it sounds like £10 is standard? Even for pre-teens? When they were little £10 seemed fine but for a 10 year old and in todays climate it doesn’t seem to get anything decent.

Cards are £2 each??? Where on earth are you buying cards from, they're like 29p at card factory or failing that get your child to make the birthday card. £2 is ludicrous for a card which will be quickly discarded and thrown away in a few days.

Pre teens will be quite content with a £10 gift card or a tenner in the card.

LittlestG · 26/10/2023 21:16

I would clarify with the parents how they treat their twins and whether they're expecting presents for both twins or just the one twin who invited your child.

I'm a twin and we were always treated as independent people rather than 'the twins'. We would share a birthday party when we were younger, but invited our own friends and certainly didn't expect presents off each other's friends, just the ones we invited ourselves.

I would buy a present for the one twin who invited your DC, and maybe a birthday card for the other twin as a nod to the fact it is their birthday too. It does potentially depend on how old they are though, if they're tiny and wouldn't understand, a token present for the other twin might be warranted as well.

anicecuppateaa · 26/10/2023 21:16

I have twins, and despite saying no need for gifts, every single person brought 2 presents to their last party!

I used to think present each as they are 2 people. Now I’m wondering if one bigger present to share and a cheap card factory card each would be better. Reduces the amount of tat/ stuff in general.

Hall84 · 26/10/2023 21:17

I'm a twin!
We had different friends growing up but shared parties whilst we still had then.
Does it say on the invite which twin invited them? If so can you get that twin a present with a token gift for the other? Or something that can legitimately be shared i.e 2 x vouchers or a game slightly more geared towards the twin your child is friends with? Our birthday is December so we not only got combined presents but combined birthday & Xmas to share.

DustyLee123 · 26/10/2023 21:18

I would only buy a £10 present anyway, so two £10 presents

cocksstrideintheevening · 26/10/2023 21:18

I've got twins. We only did one joint party because of covid and by the time it was over they had grown out of it. Everyone brought a gift for each child but when they were invited to parties they always took a gift each so I think it worked out.

Original poster
Shadowboy · 26/10/2023 21:21

@YourNameGoesHere
We live really rurally. There’s nothing like that in our village. I usually buy the cards from the village shop and then order in a gift via mail order.

OP posts:
FirstFallopians · 27/10/2023 00:40

A gift each, for the normal value that you’d spend on a gift for a classmate.

I’m a twin and the amount of people who thought it was alright to just halve a gift between me and my sister was crazy.

I can see why they did it as adults, but when you’re 7/8/9 years old it’s hard to understand.

BTW £20 per gift is very, very generous!

endlessfall · 27/10/2023 00:48

Mum of twins and splitting it is fine.
As they get older they are likely to do their own birthday parties/gatherings.

RoseMartha · 27/10/2023 00:55

Try and see if you can bulk buy a dozen cards online will work out cheaper than £2 a card.

£10 per person per gift. If you can get something reduced all the better.
Or put a £10 in the card or a gift voucher.

cuthbertthecat · 27/10/2023 06:19

Even now as teens my dds best friends on both sides get the 'other' twin a present on her birthday - usually a bag of sweets but it's very cute they way they do it.. Despite out best efforts they are very much 'the twins' though.

Small present each is fine

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 27/10/2023 06:21

2/3 1/3 split, spend more on the friend and get a small gift for the twin that isn't the friend.

reluctantbrit · 27/10/2023 08:25

Get cards in bulk next time you are somewhere else or blank ones to make your own. I always feel awful when I put DD's birthday cards in the recycling bin.

DD had twins in her class. We gave a gift each, up to £10 normally. When they started having smaller separate parties we did obviously only a gift for the twin who invited DD.

We did games, craft things (one twin loved this and the mum always encouraged these gifts), fancy stationary (especially for the girl), small Lego sets.

RandomUsernameHere · 27/10/2023 08:39

If the invitation is just from the child your DD plays with I would only give a present to that child. I have twins and nearly everyone does that. I specifically don't make it out to be a "joint" party because I don't want people to buy two presents.

Redlorryyellowlorryblue · 27/10/2023 08:49

I’m a twin. Please treat them as individuals.

The amount of people who bought us a gift to share was rubbish. If it was a joint party with 2 children from different households, they wouldn’t share a gift.

You don’t need to spend £20 on a gift! £10 max.

Mydpisgrumpierthanyours · 27/10/2023 08:52

£5 in a card each job done. Or a joint present board game etc.
Ds2 is best friends with a twin and that's what I've always done

Bluetrue · 27/10/2023 08:58

I am generous with gifts too Op but in this case I would give £10 each.

I don't know if twins bring two presents when they attend a party? I never actually thought about that, but you do pay for two activities/food/party bags so they should, shouldn't they?

Trevorton · 27/10/2023 09:01

Redlorryyellowlorryblue · 27/10/2023 08:49

I’m a twin. Please treat them as individuals.

The amount of people who bought us a gift to share was rubbish. If it was a joint party with 2 children from different households, they wouldn’t share a gift.

You don’t need to spend £20 on a gift! £10 max.

Same. Even my mum did it and bought us a gift to ‘share’ on our 18th. The reality was it stayed in my sisters bedroom and I effectively didn’t get a gift. 🤷‍♀️

fartfacenotfatface · 27/10/2023 09:02

Shadowboy · 26/10/2023 21:21

@YourNameGoesHere
We live really rurally. There’s nothing like that in our village. I usually buy the cards from the village shop and then order in a gift via mail order.

I live rurally too. Either stock up on cheap kids' birthday cards next time you go into town / to the supermarket, or buy a box of them on your favourite shopping website. You really don't need to be spending more than 30-50p on a card for a classmate's birthday!

Whinge · 27/10/2023 09:08

Another twin here saying please don't buy joint gifts. Twins have to share enough in life, they really don't want to share their presents as well.

I agree that £10 in a card is fine, although i'm really surprised you would usually spend £20 on a classmates present.