If I don't nightwean my 2yr old will he eventually wean himself?

[Hungrycaterpillarsmummy]

My son seems to be absolutely hellbent in feeding all through the night. If I pull off too early he screams and screams.
Anytime I think about night weaning he gets ill or has a tooth coming in so then I feel bad about taking his means of comfort away.

So, as per the title. If I don't night wean, will he eventually self wean?!

No he will still be breastfeeding when he's 18.

Of course he will. Whether you are ready to give up before him is the issue not whether he will self wean.

Hes 2! Should be getting enough calories in the day to stop waking for milk.

Does he eat supper? Could you replace milk with water in the middle of the night

It's not about hunger it's about comfort. I know this.

He wakes up 5+ times a night to feed and if I try to cut it short or say no, all hell breaks loose.
I'm very tired and I don't know how to stop it. So I was kinda hoping he would self wean and that it would be soon 🤔

With DS1 he was 2.5yo when I stopped breastfeeding (incl breastfeeding to sleep up until that point).
He had all of his teeth at that point and was verbal enough to have a conversation about it. I explained that he’s a big boy now with all of his teeth, and they are for food, he doesn’t need milk from me anymore.

I think a started mentioning it a week or two in advance, so that he knows it’s coming - I picked my moments so that he was agreeable, and waited for him to say he’s fine with it.

First night he got a little teary and asked for daddy at bedtime. Second and third night no upset but daddy had to do bedtime. From then on I took over and just cuddled and sang nursery rhymes until he was asleep.

Aw good to hear @7Worfs
My little one doesn't talk much at all yet. Does have understanding of a lot but I'm not sure he would grasp the whole "you have teeth and don't need milk" thing just yet but i really can't wait until communication is better

You just have to go thru the pain barrier if you want to cut it down right now. He will eventually self wean but the timeliness of that looks different for each child... I think some kids keep going till they are 7!! My son self weaned at 1yo. He just wasn't interested any more only wanted solid food and milk from a sippy cup. All kids are different.
It may be years before your son self weans so if its really negatively effecting you you might have to just go cold turkey with him. Obviously comfort him when he cries but do not offer boob. It will only take a few nights but they will be awful. Or you could do it more gradually but it will take longer. Have very set boundaries say for feeding once in evening and once in middle of night and do not do more... again there will be crying... and doing this instead of going cold turkey will mean there is crying longer as he will remember for longer.
But really feeding this much at night needs to stop ad it can't be good for him getting his sleep broken either and there's no physical need for it.
I was still bf my daughter at 2yo but it was only once in the evening before she fell asleep.

Dummy?

Stick plasters over your nipples at night and tell him they've gone now.x

Only by getting pregnant and my supply dwindled!

That's how I weaned my first!

Yes they will. Also they will have phases where they demand it more or less and won’t wake as much. My son didn’t use to call me for the milk it was more the comfort and even nowadays he comes to sleep by me for he comfort and security of being next to someone that he knows protects him.

@haribosmarties yes I guess I need to bite the bullet and remain strong. He actually screams and it's so bloody loud it hurts my ears and I feel really angry. So maybe I need to get earplugs.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum didn't want to introduce that now since he's at the age now I should be taking them away too. It's a shambles!

I had to suddenly wean before entering hospital for a prolonged period, my #2 DC was a massive comfort feeder. I wore (now ex but hey ho!) DH's (whiffy!) t shirt and a comfy but impenetrable bra for 3 nights and comforted him with no boob. He was fine by night 3 👍🏼 Was a tip from here!

But I imagine he would stop at some point unaided if you leave it and don't mind...?!

@mynamechangemyrules oh good idea about DH t shirt!

I mean, I am so ready to stop. I'm shattered! I start a new job next week and I'm so worried about being late because I'm so tired in the mornings I can't get up in time.

But as soon as he sees me he's looking for it! He's addicted it seems

Yes but it might be another year at least.

I weaned my ds2 off when he was about 20 months as he was still having feeds at night. He protested of course but to my surprise still forgot relatively quickly, although he still didn't sleep well. It had got to the point where I had started to resent it so I knew it was time to stop.

Mine improved around 2years, before that he woke regularly every 2 hours although we were co-sleeping which made it easier, and I think it was often to do with reconnecting as I was at work all day. He didn’t nightwean until age 4, and fully weaned at 5.5. I decided to just roll with it, he was very attached to it and we could never get anything else to take its place for comfort!
But in answer to your question, yes, they do eventually wean!

Oof can't be doing it that long! But I fear he is going to protest a lot.
I also cosleep and wonder if that's brought on this extra deep connection with it.

I tried to stop my daughter comfort nursing at night when she turned 3. She stopped during the day about 2 and stopped on demand at about a year. But she always comfort fed if she woke in the night. I tried to stop because I'd had enough really and I thought she might sleep through better if she knew she wasn't going to get milk if she woke. But she was so upset (and I was too tired to argue) that I soon gave in.

I finally insisted when she turned 5. I had had quite enough by then and was sick of her pulling them about! She would have quite happily carried on and at 6 still says she misses it! I'm not convinced she was getting any milk! I never had a good supply to begin with and I'm sure she wasn't getting anything by the end! But she never took a dummy and she clearly used me as one!

I would say that if you've had enough, then look at all the advice being given, and take action.
I didn't, and it carried on until he was 6, because there never seemed to be a good time to take away his comfort - starting nursery, moving house, leaving nursery, starting school, splitting up with his dad and so on.

I was exhausted, which only added to my not having the stamina to be firm.

He had to have baby teeth removed, because, obviously, I wasn't getting up and cleaning them all night.

He still doesn't sleep well, at 13, and I aged 20 years in 5.

I thought I was doing right by him, but I wasn't.

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy Google the jay gordon night weaning method. It’s a gentle method for older breastfeeding toddlers and might help.
Two of my four self weaned due to me becoming pregnant and the other two self- weaned at 2 years 8/9 months ish. Before their 3rd birthdays but after 2.5…

Had to nightwean mine both about 2, no way was I going with their "never stopping" schedule.

Few nights of tears, I substituted comfort feed for a biscuit, and downgraded to a cracker after a couple of days by which point they didn't really want it and just went back to sleep with a cuddle. Didn't stop the waking as I'd made a rod for my own back, but the comfort feeding was over which was great.

Totally understand that. But also know I would try just about anything to get myself some sleep 😂

i think you have to go through the hell of say no. My youngest child woke every night for a drink. On the advice of a child psychologist, (yes years ago the NHS provided them ), I went cold turkey. She told us to start on a Friday evening as we wouldn’t get sleep for two nights! She also told me that when the child got out of bed for a drink to put them back but not give any eye contact. She also told me the first night would be absolutely horrific, the second night a bit better but after that it would get so much better. She was absolutely right. The first night I had to get out of bed 50+ times! But after the first week we all slept.