Should I reciprocate excessive gift giving?

[GeorgeSpeaks]

My family, on both sides, are inclined towards buying stuff for stuff's sake. I have addressed this in the past, asked them not to buy us things except the couple of items we ask for. However it still continues. Things like wrist warmers (?), wax melts, bayliss and Harding gift set, gin (gave up drinking in 2019), build your own clock etc etc. Last year it all went straight to charity in January and I felt awful because it all costs money. I also felt embarrassed because I bought the gifts they asked for but didn't spend any more money on random bits.

We have enough money to buy things for ourselves, we don't need lots of other stuff. I also don't want to appear rude.

What should I do?

They are probably on the Mumsnet Christmas bargain thread!
(no-one wants wrist warmers except the people on that thread)

Just say no adult gifts - simple

@LovelyGreenCushions the issue with that is that only we have kids, so then we do appear cheap!

I'm quite fond of wrist warmers
misses point of thread

Only spend what you are happy to or can afford to. Gift giving should not be a competitive sport.

I've decided to be very blunt with friends and relatives about this sort of thing. We cannot go on despoiling the planet to make tat we don't need.

The children can gift a gift. They can go to Poundland and choose 1 item for each person

I’d be annoyed too as all that sounds like tat rather than well thought through gifts.

Could you say that you are currently going through a massive declutter and so only buying things that you need (which are quite specific) or say to just buy edible gifts.

My uncle always asks for a donation to a charity instead of a gift, which I think is the nicest way of getting someone something without adding to the mindless consumerism we have in the UK.

If you’re the only ones with kids why don’t you suggest that they don’t buy for you but just your kids, but you still buy for them? That at least cuts out the tat for you, and you can set a precedent of buying them more meaningful/environmentally friendly gifts like experiences

My mum's the same. She does it because she does like to get lots of "stuff" herself so assumes everyone wants pop socks, weird ornaments, random kitchen gadgets. I do reciprocate because it makes her happy but I try and get things she'll use such as food gifts - her favourite biscuits, good coffees and teas, that type of thing, so at least it's not wasteful.

In my experience there is nothing you can do. Mil spends a fortune on gifts at Christmas.
I always have a bag of stuff ready for the charity shop on Dec 26th.

Definitely don't reciprocate that's lunacy.

Talk a lot about decluttering, reducing consumption for the state of the planet aka their DGCs future.

Buy them quality consumable items of a type you know they like to model the kind of gift giving you prefer and hope they take the hint.

If they ask for ideas suggest experiences you can all do together like the panto or national trust membership.

It's not kindness or generosity when they're foisting crap on you that they'd know you don't want if only they'd listen to you so you're not obliged to be grateful or keep what they give you.

If you've tried explaining and failed- maybe be blunt and tell then it all will go to the charity shop as you don't like clutter and don't need anything. If they continue, that's on them. Just bag up and drop at a charity shop - or save for next year and wrap up for the charities that help families who don't have much?