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Original poster

Sad realisation...

23 replies

DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 11:58

After receiving some fantastic replies and advice from a thread I posted yesterday, I have come to the conclusion that Mumsnet seems to be the biggest source of support in my life. I've never had a huge group of friends-I have work friends who are great, a couple of childhood friends who are fine, couple of other old friends who are also fine but the best advice always comes from this forum and I feel quite sad about that... am I over thinking this?

OP posts:
HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 25/10/2023 12:02

Don't feel sad about it, revel in the fact you have millions of women around the world to help* you when you need it. This is a new experience for humanity, and it's one of the few plus sides of a digital age.

*Or to kick you when you're down if you post on AIBU, obviously

Original poster
DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 12:05

Very true and it's my first call for any info at any time!

OP posts:
ssd · 25/10/2023 12:06

Dont be sad op

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Original poster
DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 12:09

I won't be, I'm overthinking as usual!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 25/10/2023 12:09

As long as support comes from somewhere and you actually feel supported. It doesn't matter and it's nothing to feel sad about OP.

Original poster
DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 12:10

Exactly!

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 25/10/2023 12:10

I'm so glad you got the help you were after Flowers

You need to turn it around, sometimes the best advice is from those that are not involved in the situation, who can stand back and look at the problem as a whole and can take away any emotional responses. The person at the bus stop is sometimes better than your closest friend 😉

WeighDownOnMeStayTillMorning · 25/10/2023 12:11

I get this.

It'd be nice to have people in real life who were available and wanted to spend time talking.

I spend time on here in part because I'm lonely.

itsmyp4rty · 25/10/2023 12:12

It's so useful. Even just to find out trivial things like the name of a plant or what sort of dress might suit you. I'm so glad you had some great advice.

Original poster
DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 12:15

It is so useful... any recommendations I need, I always turn to Mumsnet first...

OP posts:
Antst · 25/10/2023 12:17

@HiccupHorrendousHaddock is perfectly right. Congratulations, you have an effective source of support and are sensible enough to use it!

I bet you feel weird about it because we've been conditioned to look down on social media. There are people who parrot negative comments about social media and probably don't understand why they're doing it. Yes, there are well-known problems with social media, but you're not a teen who is being influenced to spend too much, go on an extreme diet, send personal photos to strangers, etc! You're using it to reach people with diverse experiences and expertise who might have more time and practical advice than your friends do.

What you have done is look for help and take it when you've found it. That's sensible.

It sounds like you want friends offline and that's a good goal to have. It has nothing to do with your success in finding an online community though. Take a look at meetup.com or join an exercise class. And if you have kids and work, realize that there are only so many hours in a day and you're not unusual!

Original poster
DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 12:33

Antst

Thanks for your reply, I do have friends offline but THE best unbiased advice is always from here!

OP posts:
AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 25/10/2023 12:39

Pixiedust1234 · 25/10/2023 12:10

I'm so glad you got the help you were after Flowers

You need to turn it around, sometimes the best advice is from those that are not involved in the situation, who can stand back and look at the problem as a whole and can take away any emotional responses. The person at the bus stop is sometimes better than your closest friend 😉

I agree. AIBU can be utterly brutal and the anonymity makes people more vile than they would be in real life ... but the other side of that is that you can get completely honest and sensible advice from people who are not emotionally involved or would feel awkward about giving advice.

I know lots of women who have been helped to leave abusive or toxic relationships because they posted on Relationships for advice. They've told me in real life when they don't know I'm on here. And that's amazing!!

And there's lots of knowledgable people in all sorts of topics on here. There's so much more to MN than AIBU where the media focus and pinch stories from.

AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 25/10/2023 12:40

WeighDownOnMeStayTillMorning · 25/10/2023 12:11

I get this.

It'd be nice to have people in real life who were available and wanted to spend time talking.

I spend time on here in part because I'm lonely.

Im sorry to hear that. I hope you find support here and in real life soon.

WeighDownOnMeStayTillMorning · 25/10/2023 12:44

Thanks @AirFryerFrequentFlyer it's been an odd year with family stuff making home life hard, and work stuff being difficult too.

I've been really on the edge mentally at times and it's saddened me how quickly people I thought I'd never lose have got bored of me when I'm not all sunshine and cocktails.

That's why I'm on here much more than I used to be. Nobody in real life wants your honesty.

Bobbotgegrinch · 25/10/2023 12:47

You could have a couple of hundred of the best friends ever but you're never going to get unbiased advice from them, because they're your friends!

This place serves a completely different purpose, to give you the complete unvarnished truth, even (especially) when you've been a bellend.

It's sounds like you've got plenty of friends OP, so don't feel sorry for yourself, feel sorry for people who don't also have this place!

Original poster
DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 12:47

I've just remembered that years ago I had a lease car which I'd returned. They contacted me to say I owed quite a large amount of money for a bump I'd had in snow which had been properly repaired by a local garage. They were saying the repair wasn't enough, not right etc. I asked for advice here and a lovely solicitor/lawyer posted advice on what to ask for, what to say, how to word everything. They backed off all due to the invaluable advice from one poster here.

OP posts:
CandyCane75 · 25/10/2023 12:48

I just think it's great to be able to ask advice and get support when you need it 😊 I've found it invaluable at times and you get so many viewpoints, including some you'd never even considered. Don't be sad about it, we all need a bit of support and advice occasionally and some will have first hand experience of situations.

UseOfWeapons · 25/10/2023 12:50

I agree, I find this a treasure trove of useful and fascinating information, for me, my family, and friends. Particularly, as I don’t have children, I find lots of stuff here that helps me understand issues that my friends have with their kids, and pass it on! Help and support is the wonderful thing, no matter how it’s given, whether it’s with a friend, or with a huge community of women (and men), of all ages and backgrounds , as we have here.

Original poster
DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 12:50

I didn't come across this amazing place until 2009...wish I'd been here sooner!

OP posts:
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 25/10/2023 12:59

DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 11:58

After receiving some fantastic replies and advice from a thread I posted yesterday, I have come to the conclusion that Mumsnet seems to be the biggest source of support in my life. I've never had a huge group of friends-I have work friends who are great, a couple of childhood friends who are fine, couple of other old friends who are also fine but the best advice always comes from this forum and I feel quite sad about that... am I over thinking this?

Yeah, me too. The huge upside to using MN is that you'll never meet the people so there's no embarrassment in showing vulnerability and pain. I've told posters on here more about growing up and my marriage breakup than i've ever told anyone in RL, and even when I'm not contributing to a thread I can find some of them hugely helpful.

Original poster
DianaBarry5 · 25/10/2023 13:12

MrsDanversGlidesAgain

It’s invaluable!

OP posts:
ManchesterLu · 25/10/2023 13:58

You have to remember that everyone who posts here is a real, live person, taking time out of their day to say something to hopefully help you.

Support is support, no matter where it comes from, and that's one of the beauties of the internet.

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