Mental Health Dip with Covid Infection

[DwarfPlanetFiend]

Hi,

I currently have Covid. I know I have Covid because I work in the NHS and still test when symptomatic. This is the third time I've knowingly had Covid. I'm putting all this info here so as not to be accused of drip feeding.

I apologise in advance for the disjointed way in which I am writing - I'm struggling to think straight. I feel as though I'm seeing through fog, or thinking through treacle.

I have a long history of mental health problems, l and I was diagnosed with BPD in my early twenties. I have a history of self-harm, and was very mentally unstable until a decade ago. I've been much better in recent times, and I've been able to work full time for a number of years.

I'll try and get to the point rather than waffling. Alongside the expected physical symptoms of Covid, I am also experiencing some pretty extreme mental health worries.

I feel knotted up inside. I feel incredibly angry. I feel depressed and hopeless. I'm having intrusive thoughts about ending my life. I have self-harmed for the first time in a long time, although very mildly.

So I guess what I'm asking here is: has anyone else experienced an exacerbation of their mental health problems during a Covid infection, or am I heading into a major episode?

I desperately want to run away.

I'm recovering from covid at the moment. I don't normally have any mental health problems but have had severe anxiety with this which I've never had before. Be going to ease now but couldn't move for fear some days. X

Please speak to your doctor op.

My doctor wouldn't do anything, but in speaking to them I'd risk them restricting prescriptions in the future if I was deemed to be a danger to myself.

I wish I could go back a few days and some way be washed away with the flood water. Some tragic accident. That way my kids wouldn't have to live through losing their mother to suicide.

I'm trying to hang on and hope it's a temporary thing. I can't live like this again. The future is bleak

I just want to say that I hear you. When I last had covid, my mental health took such a dive that I was terrified. I was too scared to tell people how I was feeling. You’ve done a really brave thing reaching out on here.

do you have anyone you can be honest with? (I know this is really difficult sometimes.) Could you call the Samaritans? Not for advice, but just to let it all out.

I did get through it and I haven’t had an episode like that again. Being physically unwell is draining and it can have a huge effect on your mental health.

you will get through this. Even if it’s hour by hour. I hope you feel more peaceful and well very soon.

It's reassuring that others have experienced something similar. I will try to hold on. I'm aware I'm not thinking logically. I'm so irrationally angry at everything. All I can see in my mind's eye is graphic images of what I could do to myself. It's all too much.

Yes, it was very well documented during the first two years. I'm sorry you're feeling so awful

You do already know this, but just in case your poor infected brain's forgotten: please try as much 'grounding with loveliness' as you can stand. You know, do a few mindful breaths in the fresh air, look at a bird/flower/river, watch some kids playing, enjoy a comedy film. Just to keep your heart beating until the misery starts to lift. (I used to go to a car wash! We all have our quirks, innit.)

Wishing you well.

Thank you for your kind words @GarlicGrace .

I will try a bath once my son is in bed. A bath with music or an audio book usually helps. I hope I'm not beyond that now.

The destructive side of me wants to get horrendously drunk, but I know that isn't a good idea.

I had dreadful panic attacks the first time I had covid. I had my DS 14 literally holding my hand for days because I felt like I was going to die. I was also vomiting loads with the anxiety, my fabulous pharmacist recommended an anti sickness tablet (OTC) and as that stopped so did the panic attacks. I feel for you, it’s made me terrified of getting covid since. Please ring the Samaritans if the thoughts get too much.

Yes absolutely I had this with round one.

Ummm I've no evidence to a link but knowing that Covid can affect iron and vitamin levels (my ferritin went super high and B12 very low. DH was anaemic for a time) I'd get your bloods done.

Low B vitamins are linked to anxiety and neurological changes which correlate and to me makes more sense than Covid itself made me "mad" or I am "mad".

Probably not explaining myself at all well here but full sympathy for your current situation.

I believe you. Covid gave me dark thoughts, it’s hard to describe but my totally pragmatic partner had it the week before me and talked about death/fears/dying then I caught covid from him, lay in bed thinking about Will amendments. It passed, be kind to yourself, I hope it passes also

Yes I suffer from anxiety and the episode it bought on during and after covid lasted for some time and I sought support from my MH team. It’s stressful being unwell and stress often exacerbates MH issues.

Yes me all four times I've had.. 1st time before vaccinations and 4th time l asked for diazepam ( and got it) I've suffered with mh for over 30 years and have had stints in psychiatric hospitals.
Please ask for help.. loads out there. X

Yes! Mine are very mild thankfully, but have definitely got worse while I've had covid. Interesting others have experienced this too. Hope you feel better soon OP.

I have covid at the moment, also suffered with severe mental health problems in the past. I was also diagnosed with ptsd and ocd couple of years ago. And my god, this covid has knocked me off my feet physically and mentally. Mentally, im a lot more paranoid, weepy my anxiety is through the roof and I feel so low! X

YES, to the extent I had asked for a week off work as I thought I was having a mental health crisis then a day or two later was bed bound with COVID. It was scary for a time. Once I tested positive I was much better.

I'm actually due a B12 jab tomorrow (I'm deficient) but I'm unsure if I'm supposed to attend the surgery with Covid. I was still very much testing positive this afternoon. I work in A&E and we obviously see covid patients there, but that's different. I'm rambling again.

I really feel like some exercise would help. I recently joined the gym and I'm worried I'll lose motivation if I don't go back soon.

My husband and son are coming down with it now. I've no idea how I'll care for them with my brain like this.

Oh that makes sense. I had suspected Covid a couple of weeks ago and the week after I felt incredibly low and suicidal.
I’ve been taking lots of iron etc and feeling okay now mostly.

I've just had a recent bout of COVID (3vweeks ago) and am still recovering. I suffer from anxiety/low mood and it was definitely heightened. It's taken the best part of 3 weeks to recover from the fatigue. That doesn't help when you're too tired to think straight. Please see a Dr or seek help. Tell someone close to you and get them to push for help on your behalf. However, be reassured that an element of this is certainly COVID linked and will certainly improve, but it might take 3 weeks or poss even a little longer.

I'm not sure I'm strong enough to stand three weeks of feeling like this. I shall up my vitamin intake though. I'd do anything to escape this.

I only know about the low B vitamin link to anxiety because I have the MTHFR gene so don't metabolise certain B's.
B12 can be purchased privately and despite being the most squeamish of peopleI self inject, might be worth looking into.

Op how are you now? This is me for a week my. Ood has got lower and lower no happiness, no interest in anything, crying when wake up as i wish i hadnt...i tested positive on monday iv got usualy flueyness but this mood is horrific i actually hope it is the covid